


My Wish

by ryryryker



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: (for later chapters), Au Ra Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Disability, Disabled Character, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I am SICK of people shipping Alphinaud with adults when he's only 16, M/M, Miqo'te (Final Fantasy XIV), Physical Disability, Slow Burn, Violence, so I made a teen bf for him, teenage romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-06-07 01:25:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 58,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15207767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryryryker/pseuds/ryryryker
Summary: Young Miqo'te T'van Tia only wants to help people, however it's easier said than done when he's bound to a wheelchair. When the Crystal Braves are formed, he believes that he might finally get his chance to help people on a grander scale than he ever imagined. When he arrives, he expects to not be taken seriously - but Alphinaud welcomes him and the two become close. Closer than they probably should.__aka I'm sick of all the alphinaud/adult character here ships so I'm having my teen miqo come to the rescue. Will eventually include 2.55 nonsense so be emotionally ready.





	1. Destination

The trip to Mor Dhona was more difficult than he had anticipated. Sea travel was never easy, or fast in any sort of way. Not to mention once he got to dry land, it was even more difficult. T’van was so used to the evenly paved slopes of Limsa Lominsa that the jagged and rocky roads leading to his destination were harder than he originally imagined.

For a normal person, they would’ve scoffed at him saying it was ‘ _difficult_ ’. But T’van sighs softly as he looked down at his situation - at the wheelchair he sat in. He had never thought it would give him this much trouble. Still, he had to press on. With a new found determination, he made his way down the last bit of the horrible path, and through the gates. The miqo’te teen couldn’t help but smile as he looked around. It was no Limsa, but it was bustling and had a different air about it. It was like the sense of adventure infected the entire place, and it only reaffirms T’van’s resolve. With a deep breath, he makes his way towards the large crystal in small square of the town. Attuning to the aetherytes was something his father had to teach him about before leaving his home. He had barely left Limsa since he was born, so he hadn’t needed to know. He stares up at the large crystal looming over him, seemingly lost in the thought that _wow…. he finally did leave home, didn’t he?_

“Never seen an aetheryte before, lad?” The voice startled T’van out of his thoughts and he backs his chair away to turn and see who had spoke. A large roegadyn clad in armor approached him. He seemed a little bit intimidating, but the way he smiled only reminded him of his own father and he couldn’t help but be put at ease. “Didn’t mean to startle you, but you’re just look a little lost.”

“That obvious?” The teenager chuckled nervously, a hand coming up to mess with one of the small braids next to his face. It was true, he wasn’t sure exactly where he was going, he just knew this town was his destination. He maybe should’ve thought this through better….

“Aye, what you lookin’ for?”

“I’m actually ‘ere t’ enlist in the Crystal Braves.” He had only heard the name right before getting off the boat, news traveled fast. However, that meant he was much later than he wanted to be. He was hoping to be in Mor Dhona before the inaugural ceremony. But the trip, again, had been more difficult than he realized.

“Really?” The Roegadyn looked him over, something T’van is used to by this point. The wheelchair always made people do a double take. But the miqo’te almost took a sense of pride in it, sitting up straighter in the chair, waiting for some kind of judgement on outer appearances. He wasn’t anything special. Plain black hair pulled back into multiple braids and into a bun, black ears but no earrings or anything special on them. His clothes were a mess, a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a worned down vest and baggy pants. He wore sandals on his feet, but it wasn’t like he’d ever got to put proper use to them, they were simply for appearances. He had gloved hands, which grips the armrests of his chair as he waited for the roegadyn to make some kind of snide comment. But it never came, and he only got a point towards a nearby tavern. “The Rising Stones is through there, I believe the Scions can help you get settled. Or anyone in one of those blue uniforms; they just handed those out to the Braves the other day.”

T’van looked in the direction the other pointed before back. He really wasn’t going to say anything? He smiled and gave a nod. “Thank ye sir.”

“You don’t have to call me sir. The name is Slafborn. I’m in charge of the Adventurer’s guild here. Let me know if you need anything lad.”

“Thank you -- and the name is T’van! T’van Tia.” He smiled before making his way over to his new destination.

Getting up the small steps didn’t pose a problem and he heads into the tavern. Like Slafborn had pointed out, a few people in blue uniforms were loitering about as well as heading through a door in the back. He didn’t think he could just barge in, so he managed to grab the attention of a lalafell in the blue uniform that was heading out of the room. Would he end up wearing one of these uniforms one day? T’van hoped so. “Er, sorry t’ drag ye away from important business - but is there someone I can talk t’ ‘bout joinin’ the braves?”

“ _You_? Join the braves?” Ah, there it was. There’s that judgmental tone he had been expecting since he got here.

“Aye, well, I meant t’ get ‘ere sooner, but the trip took longer than expected…”

“Yuyuhase? What keeps you?” T’van looked over to see more people in blue uniforms heading over to them. He takes in a deep breath, trying not to let his nerves overtake him. But damn if he doesn’t feel more anxious than he had been in his entire life.

“Tis nothing, this lad just had an amusing thought.” T’van frowned at the lalafell’s words. He had expected it, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t upset. It didn’t mean the words still didn’t hurt. It didn’t help that his two comrades seemed to agree that him joining the Braves was amusing at best.

T’van had to be careful not to grip the wheels to his chair too tightly.

“Sir, if ye cannot help me, could ye point me in the direction of someone who can?” He tried his best to make sure his voice did not waver. Now was not the time to get upset over other’s words and preconceptions. Though, he’d admit he wished he could wipe that amused look off of the lalafell’s - Yuyuhase was it? - face.

“Very well, the Captain is in the room just up ahead. I’ll accompany you.” Yuyuhase bid his comrades a quick farewell, promising to meet up with them anon, before walking ahead of T’van and to the Rising stones. Yuyuhase at least proved to be somewhat polite, holding the door open for T’van to easily wheel his way through. The stairs though, that he was on his own for. But it was barely a problem, going down stairs was easier than going up them. The lalafell seems surprised at the ease of which he got down, even if there was a moment where T’van thought he was going to tip over but managed to keep himself upright. He huffs, and continued to lead the miqo’te through the larger room.

T’van took a glance around. So this was the Rising Stones, base of the Scions. He wasn’t sure what he expected, maybe something...more extravagant. However he’s thankful, he’s much more comfortable in a setting that is anything but extravagant. He looks ahead and stopped his chair as Yuyuhase came to a halt. He gave a salute to a large highlander, “Terribly sorry to bother you, but there’s a potential recruit for the braves here. He said he arrived late thanks to... _issues_ that occured while traveling.”

T’van’s brows furrowed, that is not what he said exactly but he didn’t dare speak against it. Clearly the man before them was important, this Captain, and T’van didn’t dare make a bad first impression. Instead he straightened himself up once more, rolling just a bit further forward before he spoke. “ ‘Names T’van Tia, sir.”

“A pleasure, I’m sure.” The highlander spook, and T’van could tell that he’s trying to measure the miqo’te up. But at the very least, his gaze doesn’t seem as judgemental as the lalafell or his companions before him. Still...it’s unnerving, T’van always felt small under people’s gaze but this is on another level. “Are you sure about this, lad?”

“More than I’ve ever been ‘bout anythin’.”

His resolve seems to at least sound with the older, but he still crossed his arms and cast a disapproving look soon after. _‘Here it comes’_ , T’van can’t help but think. _‘He’s goin’ t’ tell me I came all this way for nothin’, ain’t he?’_

“It’s good that you have such strong conviction, but we are a military force. I don’t know if you’d be a good fit.”

“Sir, I…-” His voice wavered, and he cursed himself for it. He had prepared countless speeches ahead of time incase this were to happen. He was always prepared for the worst, worried about the consequences, worried about what others thought. This was his chance to prove himself, and **he bloody froze up.**

“Is something the matter?” a new voice rang into their little circle, and T’van’s head snapped up from its depressive downfallen position. It was...a young Elezen? _‘He can’t be that much older than me, or is he even younger?’_ T’van couldn’t help but find himself thinking.

“Ah, commander-” Commander?! T’van’s mind raced with just that one relevelation. The Commander of the Crystal Braves, someone around his age?! “This young lad was thinking about joining the ranks. But--”

“Was he now? Excellent.” The Elezen puts to a halt any objection about to come from his right hand or the lalafell, and walked briskly up to T’van. He also gave the young Miqo’te a look over, but somehow T’van didn't feel as judged as he had with everyone else who had done the same thus far. “Your name?”

“T-T’van Tia.” He stumbles over his words, hands coming up to sit on the arm rests of his wheelchair. “I--I might not be the best soldier, but I doubt ye’ll be able to find a better crafter than me.” It’s a lie, really. They surely could find better, but T’van is nervous and rambling. He is desperate to convince this ‘commander’. “With the Braves bein’ a new group ‘n all, I wanted t’ give a helpin’ hand.”

The commander stared down at him for a moment before he gives a smile, and T’van swears he almost started crying at that exact moment. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

“Sir--” T’van could barely hear the objection coming from the highlander as he’s hit with shock over the elezen’s words - but he does hear the commander’s reply clearly.

“We need supplies just as much as any other Grand Company in Eorzea, and we can’t always rely on the Adventurer’s guild or even the Scions for assistance. Do you not think having a crafter would be useful to our cause?” The highlander seemed to be stunned into silence, and the elezen turned his attention back to the Miqo’te. “What are your specialties?”

“Ah, um-- Alchemy. I’ve also trained with the blacksmiths and armor crafters in Limsa, I built this chair with me own two hands with what I learned.” He said, wheeling back slightly and turning the chair to show off the side. It wasn’t the prettiest thing in the world, but not many had been built according to the master of the blacksmiths guild. It had took them awhile to figure out how to do it exactly, but it was done and T’van could be proud of this achievement. The symbol of Llymlaen etched into the center of the wheel was probably his favorite detail - a detail his father had added to it. “I also got the basic o’ weavin’ down, an-an’ i wouldn’t be against learnin’ anythin’ the braves needed of me.” He turns his chair back to face the other properly again as he gave one final plea.

“Well, that’s more than I anticipated. Ilberd, Yuyuhase, you’re dismissed.” T’van stared in awe as he watched the two walk away after the command was given. Sure, this other teenager was the commander but...wow… “Let’s get you a uniform, T’van.”

“Are-- are ye serious?” He couldn’t help but stutter.

“Of course I am, and I apologize if the others gave you a difficult time. The way I see it, if we are to unite Eorzea, we must first realize that not everyone will be the same and--- oh, are you all right?” He stopped mid-inspirational speech to see T’van crying. T’van is quick to nod, giving a few furious ones infact, as he wiped the tears from his eyes. Damn, this was embarrassing.

“Forgive me -- ah, I wasn’t expectin’ for--” He sniffs, holding back a hiccup. “-t’ actually work out--” T’van managed a smile up at the other, and receives a smile back.

“There’s naught to forgive, T’van. Oh...I don’t think I’ve introduced myself yet. I’m Alphinaud Leveilleur, and I suppose to stand on formality, I am the commander of the Crystal Braves. Now come, we’ll have to speak with Tataru about getting you a uniform. May I?” He gestured to the back of T’van’s chair, and he gave a nod as he’s trying to wipe up the last of his tears. Alphinaud circled around him and takes ahold of the wrapped handlebars of his chair to push T’van to their next destination.

The trip was rather short, as who Alphinaud wanted him to see was not terribly far from the entrance itself. A desk pushed off to the side, T’van hadn’t even seen it when he first rolled in. A female lalafell stood on top of a chair and was pushing around papers at the desk. She seemed buried in work and T’van didn’t wish to bother her, but he was also so...giddy at the prospect of getting a uniform, joining the braves. Alphinaud seemed to not have his worries of bothering her, and strikes up conversation easily. T’van stumbled over his introduction, but the woman doesn’t seem to mind, and introduced herself by the name Alphinaud had mentioned but moments before.

“Well, we’ll have to get measurements. But that might be a little bit difficult.” Tataru tapped her chin, and it only took T’van a second to realize it was because he couldn’t stand. She couldn’t get an accurate measurement that way…

“Ah, well, if ye got somethin’ for me t’ grab onto I can get up for ye t’ do it.” Though getting a better look of the rising stones, there weren’t to many places or things for him to do so - maybe some of the boxes over past the bar?

“How about someone? I’m sure Alphinaud could help you stand long enough.” T’van couldn’t help but wonder how she could address him so casually - but she also doesn’t look to be a member of the braves by the way she dressed. A scion, maybe?

“How about two people? Just to make sure you can get to where you need without having to much trouble.” The three looked over to see another Brave walking over. “Sorry, couldn’t help but overhear. I’m free if you need help.”

“Thank you Wilred, I believe we’ll take you up on that.” Brief introductions were made before Tataru was all but shoving the boys into a side room to have some privacy. Which, T’van was thankful for. It was just now dawning on him that the entire display earlier had happened infront of multiple members of the Scions and the Braves. He needed a moment to calm down and swallow his growing embarrassment.

Wilred helped him get out of his chair and Alphinaud pushes it aside and out of the way. They each hold onto one of his arms, though Wilred ends up holding him a little to high, and his feet are off the ground. Which doesn’t make measurements accurate, and Tataru scolded him and it took a bit of adjusting before they found the exact amount of height and strength to hold T’van at.

Tataru is very….thorough, T’van learned. He now understood why Wilred muttered an apology before it all started. By the time she’s through he’s exhausted, and he wasn’t even technically standing by himself. He’ll have to apologize to Alphinaud and Wilred later for having to hold him up for so long.

The two help him back into his chair, though Alphinaud does end up hitting his leg against the foot rest. Which resulted in an almost comical curse as he nearly fell over. Thankfully T’van is well enough seated, aside from pulling his legs onto the rest, that he’s able to catch Alphinaud before they completely crash into each other. “Ye ‘lright, sir?” T’van asks, a small laugh leaving his lips. “Sorry ‘bout that. This ol’ girl dom’t mean any harm.”

“I’m--I’m sure.” Alphinaud stutters, embarrassed to have given such a display. With the help of T’van and Wilred he gets back on his feet.

“It shouldn’t take me to long to complete your uniform. I hope to get it done by nightfall, if not by the morn.”

“Thank ye Miss Tataru, but ye don’t gotta rush-- ye seemed very busy.”

“Which is exactly why I could use this break.” She only smiled and shoos the boys back into the main room while humming a tune. Alphinaud takes up the job of pushing T’van’s wheelchair as they entered the main room again. Though he does tell T’van and Wilred to wait a moment as he went to talk to Tataru once more. It’s only for a few moments, then he’s walking back out and grabbing onto T’van’s chair again.

Alphinaud has already moved onto the next task at hand before T’van could even blink. “I’m doing my best to figure out where we are to set up a station for you T’van. Will you need a lot of room?”

“Eh, not a lot.” T’van said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Enough ‘or some tools, but I wouldn’t need a whole room t’ myself. Maybe just a corner.”

“We could move some of the boxes out of the way over there. Think that could work?” Wilred suggested, pointed to the other side of the room past the bar top where the room was more open, and T’van could see various boxes and items around. Were there even striking dummies?

“That would be more than enough.” T’van said, before trying to angle his head to look back at Alphinaud. “What d’ye think, sir?”

“I suppose it could do for now. But you need only ask if you decide you need more.” They head down to the side of the room, speaking for a few moments on which corner he would take, what they would need to move, T’van listing the equipment he would need - as traveling with it all would have been next to impossible. “Did you bring...nothing with you?” Alphinaud asked, concern clear in his voice.

“I got the bag on the back of me chair.” It’s only then Alphinaud notices it, looking down from where he held the other’s chair and noticing the small bag. It was fairly simple to miss, so T’van just shrugged. He also hoped the commander didn’t look insid - as his pops had also given him a pair of daggers to take with him. ‘Just in case’, his pops said. He knew how to use them, sort of. His pops thought it was important to know, but T’van thought it would ever be necessary. He would never turn down a present from his pops nor a skill to possibly help him in the future - no matter what he thought of it. “But that’s ‘bout it. I have t’ travel light when it’s just me.”

“That’s a little less than traveling light.” Wilred can’t help but comment. “Could no one come with you?”

“My pops sailed me towards the mainland, but he’s got his own work t’ do. Plus with how I figure it, if I couldn’t get here then that meant I really wasn’t cut out to join the Braves. But I’m here, and I somehow joined the Braves. I’m kinda waitin’ to wake up and this be a dream or somethin’.” He laughed nervously, a flush coming across his face. It was a bit embarrassing to say it that way, but Alphinaud and Wilred just smile at him.

“Well, we’re happy to have you T’van. Now lets work on getting your station set up.”

Thus the three teens get to work, and some other braves who are passing through lent a hand as well. T’van himself couldn’t move much, but he did hold things and helped direct as he had the best idea of the space he would need. He knew not how many bells had passed since they started but eventually, T’van sat behind a long desk, some scattered materials on one side that they didn’t quite have a place for yet, but that would be fixed later, Alphinaud said. He had a few different boxes for organization and future materials.

“Make me a list of all the tools and supplies you’ll need to get started and I’ll make sure we get them by this time tomorrow.” T’van nodded, taking a piece of parchment and quill handed to him and used his new desk to start writing everything down. Only after the first few things are listed however, does T’van notice droplets falling onto the paper. It takes a second to process that he was crying again.

“T-T’van?” Alphinaud asked worriedly, but the miqo’te is quick to shake his head and rub the tears from his eyes. “What...What is the matter?”

T’van could tell it was awkward for Alphinaud, and he’s thankful that Wilred had excused himself a few moments before so he didn’t have to see this display. T’van was embarrassed enough as it was. How many times would he be so in one bloody day? “S--S’rry…- I’m just...really happy.” He finally said, giving another smile up at his commander. There’s a brief look of shock over Alphinaud’s features before he steps closer to the desk and puts his hand on T’van’s shoulder. T’van’s ear twitched as Alphinaud spoke.

“I hope that everyone will be as happy as you when it comes to the Crystal Braves and our mission.”


	2. Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphinaud can't help but keep an eye on the Brave's newest recruit throughout his first day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention in the notes of the last chapter that the POV of this fic is gonna be switching between T'van and Alphinaud. I'm going to try to keep it up -unless I feel like the situation doesn't call for it.

Yesterday had been eventful, that much was for sure. Alphinaud still couldn’t believe how emotional T’van had gotten just by joining the Crystal Braves. It gave Alphinaud a sense of pride, that the Braves could already influence someone so. But there was also some added pressure, he wanted to make sure the Braves lived up to the expectations of all in Eorzea, but especially those like T’van who thought so highly of his organization. Speaking of T’van however, he had yet to see the miqo’te since walking in. Granted it was still early into the morning, and he certainly couldn’t expect everyone to get in at the same time he did. Ilberd was there however, already giving out orders for the day. “Busy already?”

“Ah, Commander.” The older man gave a hint of a smile as he and the other Braves gave their salute- one which he happily returned. “Already the requests for our services are high, so I wanted to make sure to get in and start everything early.”

“Very good, I appreciate the initiative. Say, I don’t suppose you’ve seen T’van yet this morning, have you?”

“T’van?” Ilberd questioned, dismissing the other Braves for their work.

“Our newest recruit, surely you didn’t forget him so easily?” A hint of irritation made its way into his voice. It had bothered him that Ilberd and Yuyuhase has tried to push T’van out without even asking what he could contribute, or giving him a chance at all. Ilberd seemed to hear that irritation and cleared his throat.

“Ah, the young miqo’te lad? I believe I saw him and Wilred earlier. Not sure where the two of them went off to.”

It surprised him that Ilberd had seen them at all, this early anyways. He gave a small nod, “Well, they’ll have to present themselves for orders regardless. I suppose I’ll simply wait for them.” With another salute, Ilberd had gone to take care of other business. He gave a quick look around the large room and it yields him to realize that Tartaru was nowhere to be seen as well. She was normally in around the same time to deal with the never ending mountain of book keeping she dealt with on the daily. Had something happened? Or….

“Alphinaud!” He turned to see Tartaru waving at him, and he made his way to her, noticing she’s standing outside of the room where they had helped T’van with measurements yesterday. “T’van will be right out! I managed to finish his uniform last night.”

“Thank you for getting it done so quickly, I’m sure T’van is ecstatic.”

“The poor boy almost started crying on me when he saw it! I do hope it fits him well.” She said, bringing and hand up to her cheek and shaking her head slightly. “Wilred is helping him get changed.” And so the two do them waited, and a few minutes later Wilred was came out of the room, “Commander!” He greeted, giving a quick salute before he went to hold the door open for T’van.

Alphinaud smiles as T’van comes rolling out, dressed unmistakably in a Crystal Braves uniform. With that said however, he noticed a striking difference in the coat. It wasn’t long like all the other braves’, instead it ended around his waist. The collar had been adjusted aswell, but still had the same style of all the other ones. Lastly, instead of the hat, T’van wore a pair of goggles on his head. ‘Fitting’ Alphinaud can’t help but find himself thinking. Though as he noticed the goggles, he couldn’t help but notice one last detail. The others hair had streaks of blue in it. It looked nice, mixed with his jet black hair, pulled into multiple braids. The blue hadn’t been in his hair yesterday, did he get it done last night? He was about to comment on it but was distracted by the fact that T’van salutes towards him. A solid salute, considering he could not stand and snap his heels together. Alphinaud did the only thing he can and salute him back.

“It suits you.” The commander said, and he swears he sees a blush across T’van’s cheeks.

“It fits great” T’van was beaming as he turns his chair towards Tartaru. “Thank ye again, Miss Tartaru.”

“Oh, how many times do i have to tell you! Just Tartaru is fine.” She points at him, and Alphinaud can’t help but chuckle as T’van stumbles out an apology. “The fabric is a little bit different than the others. Considering you’ll be sitting all the time I figured I should make it more comfortable for you. The shorter coat was Alphinaud’s idea, which I had to agree with. It wouldn’t be comfortable to sit in that thing all day, not to mention get it on and off daily.”

“The commander did?” T’van blinks over at Alphinaud, and he gives a nod. He had thought about it after Tataru had taken T’van’s measurements. He wasn’t sure how difficult it was for T’van to get dressed normally, and he had made the suggestion to not make it any more complicated for him.”Well, it’s definitely comfortable.” The crafter said with a grin. Saying goodbye to Tartaru so she may start her days work, the three boys head towards the center of the room.

“I’m glad you both came in early. I’ve contacted a few merchants in the marketplace. They have some of the supplies T’van will need for his Alchemy, and I plan to send someone out to acquire your black smith and armor crafting tools later today. Wilred, do you mind helping T’van carry his things back here from the marketplace?”

Wilred saluted, “Course!”

“Excellent. Then make your way there post haste, I already have requests for items from some of the other Braves.”

“Wait, really?” T’van sounds surprised, and Alphinaud nods towards him. This seems to give T’van the extra bit of motivation he needed, and after a quick salute he started to take off towards the door, with Wilred following close behind. He watches them leave, thinking how it’s probably good for T’van that there’s someone around his age like Wilred. Though this brought another thought, Wilred wasn’t too much older than himself. Huh. There were times that he was so busy giving orders that he hadn’t stopped to think that those he was ordering were normally twice his age, if not a little bit less. He shakes his head. It wasn’t a detail he need concern himself with, and went off to start her daily duties as well.

Time wasn’t flowing correctly for him, not ever since the Braves had been established. It was always talk to this squad, get another’s report, speak to Ilberd, speak to Minfilia, and repeat. He had hardly minded, he knew what he was getting into upon starting the Braves, so the work kept him happily busy. Though there is a thought of wondering where the newest recruit was between tasks. What had been keeping them? It wasn’t like the marketplace was far away, only a few paces up a slope.

Not long after these thoughts, Wilred and T’van come in with Riol following close behind. The hyurs carried most of the supplies, though T’van did have a small box sitting on his lap. The three of them were laughing, as if sharing some kind of inside joke as they walked into the Rising Stones.

“And what’s so funny you three?” Alphinaud asks curiously. They seemed to straighten up when Alphinaud addressed them, but it wasn’t like they could salute while holding a couple of boxes.

“These two thought it was fun t’ ride T’van’s chair down the slope at top speed.” Riol laughed again, while T’van seemed more embarrassed and tried to hide himself within his chair. “They just barely stopped ‘fore crashin’ into the Aetheryte. Though Wilred did go flyin’.”

Alphinaud blinked before finding himself chuckling aswell. The mental image of Wilred flying into the Aetheryte was hilarious, he had to admit. But then he cleared his throat, making the three of them stiffen and two stand at attention - T’van at least straightened up in his chair. “Well, now that you’ve all had your fun - are those all the supplies you need?” The commander looks at T’van, who gives a few nods.

“Aye, this should be enough t’ get me started. I’ll work on gettin’ everythin’ set up.” Alphinaud watched the three go off to the small work station that had been set up for T’van before turning to another matter that called for his attention. He’ll just have to check in later.

Much later that was, because there was so much information process and handle delicately. Especially on the concerns of a possible spy within one of the three Grand Companies. They had to find out who, without raising too much suspicion, and then take care of it. He did not want to leave this matter to his Braves entirely. They were new, fresh, and jumping straight into a case of treachery might not be the smartest approach. Ilberd and him could handle it for now. He pinches the bridge of his nose, giving himself a moment to breathe before starting this operation - and that’s when he finally noticed the crowd around T’van’s workstation. Odd, how long had the other braves been standing around like that? He walks a little closer to inspect the situation.

“You’re a lifesaver T’van.” He sees Rhesh Polaali, an older Miqo’te women he’s only had the convenience of being able to talk to maybe once, grinning as she is handed a sword. “It looks brand new!” It seemed that the crafter’s other tools arrived here well enough from Limsa Lominsa - Alphinaud barely remembers flagging someone down to go fetch them, if he was honest. It nearly had slipped his mind, but it was a good thing it didn’t. Seemed his braves needed a blacksmith around.

“It wasn’t a big fix, but go test it out on some of them dummies to make sure it holds up and lemme know, a’ight?” Rhesh gave a nod and went to do just that. “Now let’s see- ye needed potions right? They’re in that box just to yer right.” T’van instantly jumps into the next brave asking for attention, and Alphinaud smiles. T’van had seemed so timid when he first arrived, and still seemed so only a few bells ago. He must truly be in his element, and Alphinaud is only reaffirmed in his decision to let T’van join the braves.

“I see you’ve adjusted well T’van.”

“Oh-” T’van pulled off the goggles that were over his eyes and placed them back on his head before turning his attention to Alphinaud. “-Commander! I, well, ye weren’t kiddin’ when ye said there was already a list of stuff waitin’ for me t’ do.” Some of his natural timidness seemed to shine through for a moment, but he was still working, crossing out things he had done on a spare parchment as another brave came up to him.

“You got any ethers in this mess?”

“Those’ll be right next t’ the potions.”

“I’ll leave you to your work T’van.” He said, walking away from the crowd just as Rhesh was running back in, Alphinaud could hear more words of praise from the woman just before going out of earshot. Good, everything seemed to be in order. With that little comfort in mind, he could focus on that gods damned spy, with this resolve he left the Rising Stones to meet up with Ilberd.

It was well into the night before he returned. He glossed over the details with Minfilia. It was not a sign of distrust, but moreso that it was simply not the Scions field. He did not need to worry her about it. He would handle it himself, and infact him and Ilberd had made substantial progress. Substantial, and every tiring progress. With the Rising Stones nearly empty, he permits himself to have a moment of rest. Slumping into one of the many chairs scattered across the Rising stones, he brushes a hand through his hair. Now let’s see - what was the next thing on his list?

“Commander?”

His head rose, his eyes meeting T’van’s. “Evening, T’van. What do you need?”

“Er-- nothin’, sir. I was just makin’ sure ye were a’ight. Ye...Ye look more than a touch tired.”

Alphinaud straightened, watching as T’van pulled his chair up next to the table to sit beside him. It was also then he noticed that T’van put a plate of food on the table; a sandwich? Had he been carrying it on his lap and Alphinaud had just not noticed? “I also couldn’t help but notice ye didn’t eat much today.”

“Oh, that is…” True, he admitted silently. He hadn’t ate much over the last few days. The demands of his position combined with the fact that he wa a light eater to begin with had made the notion of sitting down for a moment to eat slip his mind completely. “Thank you T’van, but you did not have to go through the trouble.”

“Tis no trouble at all, sir. Some o’ the others heard that I can make the sandwiches they serve down at the Bismark and wanted some. Made a few extras for the stragglers comin’ back so late.” He grins, only briefly, before second guessing his words and stumbling over them. “N-Not that yer a straggler, sir! Ye must’ve been very busy today--”

Alphinaud chuckled, and T’van’s nerves seemed to died down. “Well, personally I’ve never tried the food at the Bismark, but let us see what this tastes like.” Alphinaud pulled the plate towards him. Though he did wish T’van hadn’t gone through the trouble - turning down his hard work only seemed like an insult. He took a bite, feeling T’van staring at him. He supposed the other teenager was waiting for his opinion. He swallows the first bite and gives a smile over to T’van. “Well! If the Bismark food is half as good as this, I dare say you might put them out of business.”

The miqo’te grinned, and Alphinaud made note of the blush coming across the other’s face. “Oh gods no, my pops is friends with the head chef at the Bismark is all. He delivers fish to them.”

“Your father is a fisherman, then?” He had expected his father to be a crafter, considering how skilled T’van seemed to be at it.

“Aye. Was a member o’ the yellow jackets back in th day. But he’s been retired since I was a youngin’.”

“Did he teach you the trade?”

“Aye, I don’t mind it, but I like workin’ with my hands a touch more. It was obvious after I stole my pops fishin’ rods to try and build somethin’. He wasn’t t’ happy, but he helped me find somethin’ productive to do with all that energy.”

The conversation continued while Alphinaud ate. T’van told him of growing up in Limsa Lominsa, of his seemingly gentle giant father, and of many mishaps that occured because of his wheelchair. _It must’ve been terrifying_ , he thinks as T’van retells a story of how his chair went off the pier and he fell into the water. Thankfully fishermen were nearby to, well, fish him out so to speak. T’van tells the story with a laugh - at least he wasn’t too affected by it now.  
“Thank you for the food T’van, and for the conversation. I’m feeling much better.” He stands up, taking the plate over to the bar, T’van following close behind. “Try not to stay too late, we’ll need you just as attentive tomorrow.”

“Yes sir!” T’van said, giving a salute, one which Alphinaud happily returns. “But, um, Comander--” T’van drops his arms to the armrests as he looks up at Alphinaud once more. “Try t’ follow the same advice?” It’s spoken in a hushed tone, and for a moment he’s not sure if he heard correctly. T’van quickly excused himself, rushing out of the door to the Rising Stones. Alphinaud leaned slightly to watch him leave, seeing T’van struggle with going up the small set of stairs. He was about to go assist when another brave beat him to the punch. The elezen woman helped him up the stairs and held the main set of doors open for him, and soon he was completely out of sight. The brave then came over and saluted to him, and gave her report. The thought of leaving completely left his mind, there was still more work to be done and he was going to do it.

“What are you still doing here?” A voice broke through the mental list he had been making. After dismissing the brave he was talking to he realized just how many more he needed to speak with, or have Ilberd speak with. He looks over to see the Warrior of Light herself. She was a Xaela Au Ra, the first one he had ever met. She was always dressed in dark and long robes, though today she looked as if she was one of the domans with that garb she had on, and a hat forever on her head as if it was apart of her person - he couldn’t help but wonder if all black mages dressed similarly.

“Ah, Koko, good to see you.” He replied, turning towards her. “Have another grand adventure to report to Minfilia?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” The Au Ra pushed some of her long red locks behind her shoulder and seemed to give an annoyed glare. Though, that could just be one of her default looks.

“Well, of course I’m here. I have work to do as the comman--”

“You’ll be of no used to someone if you’re on the verge of passing out.”

Alphinaud raised an eyebrow. “Says the women who spends her free days writing or reading until she does just that.” He lost count of the times he had come into the Rising stones to find the warrior of light nestled in the corner surrounded by books. It was one of the things he had admired about her - she was a scholar. Maybe not to the extent that he was, but one all the same.

“That--- This isn’t about me. Have you even eaten today?”

“As a matter of fact, yes I have.” He frowned at the surprised look she gives him. “Does that honestly surprise you?”

“ **Yes**.” She answers simply, and he expects further explanation. She did not give it. “Just try to get out of here soon, will you? I’m not the only one who’s worried.” He’s not sure what shocked him more, the fact that he’s getting scolded by the Warrior of Light or the fact that she had implied it was not only her that was worried. He had seen the Scions look over at him every so often that day while working, but he thought it was just out of curiosity. Were they worried glances? Hm...he’d have to work harder so not to worry them.

But for now, sleep did sound nice…

“Very well, I was just wrapping up most of my duties, the rest can be saved for tomorrow.” Koko gives an approving nod, before giving a wave and walking off. Had she come only to scold him? Why wasn’t he surprised? Shaking his head, he decides to follow through on his word. He takes one last glance around, making sure no one would call for him at the last second, before departing the Rising Stones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2!! This one is abit slow but we got some good interactions with the bois.  
> Also my WOL isn't gonna be around alot until the big shit happens but!!! There she is!!  
> Only part of this chapter was betaread so I apologize if there's any errors.


	3. Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T'van realizes that he's not the only one with problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the last one I had already prewritten and just needed revising before posting - so from now on the updates might be a little more unpredictable/far in-between. I'll do my best not to make you guys wait too long though!

T’van awoke because of a scream.

It took him a second to push himself from his new bed, glancing across the room to see Wilred in a cold sweat. The two of them had agreed to share a room, or rather Wilred had insisted because he thought T’van would need his help getting places in the mornings and evenings. He wasn’t entirely wrong, and he seemed nice enough. Not to mention not alot of the Braves were around their age, they should stick together, so T’van accepted the request. He didn’t know that Revenant’s Toll was even offering up rooms to Braves until then. It was nice of them, he couldn’t help but think. Wilred had a room large enough for two beds and still have enough space in the middle for them not to be cramped - though i was a little farther from the Rising Stones than some of the other rooms. The reason for this, Wilred had warned him, was because of the situation going on now. T’van had dismissed the other’s worries at the time, but he felt awful for doing so now. Clearly something haunted Wilred enough to give him occasional night terrors. He had picked this room because he didn’t want to wake other braves nearby.

“F-Forgive me T’van. I did not mean to wake you.” Wilred said with a shaking breath and then turned his back towards the miqo’te.

“Do ye want t’ talk ‘bout it?” He asked, and got no reply in return. With a small huff, T’van pulled his sheets back and gripped onto his wheelchair that sat right next to his bed. Thankfully the bed was about the same height as the seat of the chair so he could slide in easily. And then he made his way across the room. Wilred heard the sound of his wheels on the floor, and turned over to see T’van crawling onto his bed.

“What are you--”

“Do ye want t’ talk ‘bout it?” He asked again, and he watched as Wilred fully sat up in his bed. Unlike T’van, he’s clearly seen combat. T’van’s couldn’t help but wander to look at a few of the scars before meeting Wilred’s eyes.

“It’s...not easy to talk about.” Wilred ran a hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t know where to begin -- I--...” He trailed off, and T’van tilted his head as he waited a moment for the other to possibly continue. “I don’t wish you to think any less of me.”

T’van’s ears twitched as he raiseed an eyebrow. “Ye have been nothin’ but kind t’ me since I arrived, there ain’t much ye can say t’ change my mind.” There’s a silence that hangs in the air afterwards, but T’van doesn’t get down until he’s absolutely sure Wilred is alright, which isn’t until he stated-

“Maybe...Maybe later when I’m not so….flustered.”

“A’ight.” T’van slided back into his chair, backing away from the bed. He wanted to know, he wanted to help, but he wasn’t going to force Wilred into it. “How ‘bout we get some food ‘nd maybe ye’ll feel better?” The older agreed, and got out of his bed. The two of them ate and got ready for the day in mostly silence. T’van tried to cheer the other up with some conversation, but Wilred was very dismissive.

The two of them made their way to the Rising Stones still relatively early, only a little bit later than they had planned to go in. Wilred helps him into the main room per usual and T’van heads to his work station. He was worried about Wilred, and it plagued his thoughts in the coming hours. He made an attempt to not have it affect his work, and tried to cross off items from his to do list. People came and went, either adding more to his workload or taking it away. Regardless of either, he had run out of things to do just a few more bells later.

‘Maybe a short breather is in order’ he couldn’t help but think as he wheeled himself away from his station. Maybe he’ll ask Alphinaud if he needed help with anything - not that he would. The commander was always so on top of things, it was one of the things T’van admired about him.

He seemed to be in a conversation with Captain Ilberd and the Warrior of Light, though. The crafter had never spoken with her face to face but he was aware of who she wash just by a glance. He was also vaguely aware of the companion at her side - another Xaela Au Ra. From T’van’s understanding she was always with the Warrior of Light, and always had a lance strapped to her back and a cold stare. He didn’t know much else about her though, not even her name. He decided not to dwell on it and T’van waited patiently nearby for his chance to speak, unintentionally listening in on the seemingly urgent conversation.

“Gods dammit!” He heard the captain utter.

“According to the report, one of ours have been taken captive,” Alphinaud continued, and T’van covers his mouth both in shock and to make sure he didn’t interrupt. “The garleans are not known to treat their foemen with dignity, and I have grave fears for her safety. We must dispatch a rescue party at once. Recall those Braves who are afield.”

T’van couldn’t help but wheel himself backwards and almost back into his desk. Yes, he knew being a brave meant this sort of thing was bound to happen - but he feels so helpless! If he could do something more than craft, maybe he could help….he just wanted to help….

By the time he turned back into the conversation, they are asking the Warrior of Light for her help and she’s swiftly on her way with her friend at her side. He stared after her for a moment, before shaking his head. Even if he couldn’t go into the field, there had to be something he could do to help!

He took a deep breath and rolled himself back over to where Alphinaud is still standing, muttering to himself. Despite this mission being in the hands of the Warrior of Light, he still seemed anxious. “Er-“ T’van felt bad about distrupping his train of thought, but at least he had Alphinaud’s attention. The elezen turned to face him.

“Ah, T’van, forgive me there is much to be done-“

“I heard everythin’ - how can I help?” Alphinaud seemed surprised, nervous even. “I can fetch some medical supplies for when the Brave comes back— do we know who it is?”

“If…if the reports are to be read correctly, then it’s Rhesh.” T’van’s heart sank just a little bit more. He had just repaired her sword. Various scenarios played in his mind about how this could’ve been his fault thanks to a bad patch job, but he tries to push those thoughts away as Alphinaud spoke again. “I think I’m going to call on the Domans to assist, they might have more knowledge on this sort of thing than anyone else available.”

“I-I can go get ‘em!” T’van volunteered, “and I’ll bring them some medical supplies just in case.” Without even hearing his response, a salute is given and he is quick to roll back over to his desk to grab what he needed and carefully placed everything into the bag always on the back of his chair. When he turns Alphinaud seems like he wanted to protest, but the miqo’te just gives him a smile, “I’m off then! I’ll give ye an update later, Commander.”

With that said T’van made his escape from the room, and he swears he saw Alphinaud smiling as he left.

The thing about the Domans, most of the time you don’t find them - they found you. This time though, it seemed to be a mutual search as one of them came up to speak with him while he was about to go over to her. T’van quickly relayed the story, offered up his medicine (and assistance) and then they wait for the unit to return. A few Domans were sent out to the front gate to help the unit bring Rhesh through safely, and while T’van couldn’t help too much beyond the initial offer of medicine, he still stuck around with the rest of Rhesh’s unit to make sure she was okay. He has cried at least twice, and the elezen woman- Alianne? - calmed him both times.

“Hey um—“ he suddenly started after his second fit, Alianne looking down at him. “H-Her sword didn’t break, did it?”

“Her sword?”

“I….I fixed it the other day. And I couldn’t help but wonder —“

She shook her head and pats T’vans own, careful not to mess with his goggles. “No, No if anything the sword being in top condition helped the situation not be even more grave than it already was. Do not blame yourself T’van.” Well, there he goes, more tears falling out of his eyes. This time though, he’s sure to wipe them up quickly. “Why don’t you go back? Someone needs to report to the commander.”

“Right, right….” he did say he’d keep the commander updated. Saying goodbye to the fourth unit, and the Domans, he headed back to the rising stones-

-Only to find Alphinaud not there. But the Captain was, even if he seemed in a rush himself. Maybe the aftermath of the whole kidnapping ordeal? T’van rolled over to him and waited to be acknowledged before he saluted towards Ilberd, and it’s returned before the Captain speaks, “There you are, where had you run off to?”

“I took some supplies t’ the domans, and stayed to make sure nothin’ else was needed on hand. It seems that Rhesh is stable though, so I was told I could return.”

“Smart thinking.” The praise is welcomed, but also seemed a little hollow- T’van couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He would admit he’s not entirely comfortable with Captain Ilberd, maybe because he was one of the ones trying to turn him away at the start. T’van wanted to trust him, though. So he gave a small smile and nodded of his head.

“Thank you, sir. Did anythin’ get added to me list while I was gone?”

“Not as far as I’m awares, how about you just replace the supplies you took over to the Domans and call it a day.” T’van didn’t entirely agree with that, but it was work so he nodded and started to head over to his station. He stopped though and looked back at Ilberd, who was all kinds of ready to ignore him- but T’van spoke up again.

“Sir? If I may, where did the commander go?”

“He’s on his way to Camp Dragonhead with the Warrior of Light, no need to worry about him.”

Clearly Ilberd didn’t know that T’vans title besides ‘resident crafter’ was ‘resident worrier’. But he simply nodded again and headed back to his station, ready to work again. A few synthesis failed because of how preoccupied his thoughts were. First Wilred, then Rhesh, and now Alphinaud — well… maybe he shouldn’t put Alphinaud in the same category. Nothing was wrong with him, he just had more business to take care of. Still…. T’vans mind couldn’t help but drift back to a few days prior where Alphinaud had eaten the food T’van gave him. T’van doesn’t remember when the last time was that was so nervous and so happy to have someone try his cooking.

“Has he remembered t’ eat today?” He grumbled before it became a slight squeak as another attempted craft failed. He sighed and pushed some of his supplies out of the way. He groaned and laid his head on the desk.. He stayed like this for awhile before a clank sound on the desk causes him to shoot up. “Huh? what?”

“I hope your seemingly tired self isn’t my fault.” Tvan’s eyes finally settled on to his roommate and he gave a small smile.

“No, no it’s nothin’. How can I help ye?” It was only then he realized that the clank sound had come from a large cup and a plate full of snacks being placed on the table “oh.” It’s only then he realized that he hasn’t eaten anything since that morning - and here he was worrying about Alphinaud doing just that. There’s a small laugh that escaped him before he reached for the water given to him. “Thanks Wilred.”

“Don’t mention it. I figured you hadn’t eaten after hearing you ran off to help the domans. How is she by the way?”

T’van took a gulp of the water before speaking, “ ‘kay. She’s not the best o’ shape of course, but the worst o’ it has passed. I just wish I could do more t’ help—“his hands grip the mug tightly, and Wilred pushed the snacks closer to him with a small smile.

“You do plenty around here friend. A lot of us would be in trouble on the daily without your supplies or repairs. Not every problem is yours alone to bare.”

T’van blinked, looking up at Wilred before down at the plate. Slowly he slips a cookie off of it and took a few small bites. Not the healthiest food but he appreciated it nonetheless and wouldn’t let it go to waste. He doesn’t ignore the almost sad look on the others face when he spoke- but was afraid to ask about it. He instead thinks on Wilred’s words, a heavy breath leaving him. He thought maybe, just maybe, things would be different here. But no, he still felt like a burden to everyone, he still felt that he had to carry all the burden himself since he was such an...inconvenience; he didn’t want to make things harder for others. He just needed to learn to get better at all of this, help more people, not ask to be pushed somewhere - anything.

The two of them sat in somewhat comfortable silence, munching away at the snacks. T’van only ate a few more before offering up the rest of the plate to Wilred, who happily took it. “How has your day been doing?” He tried to cover up the last bit of awkward air with a little bit of conversation.

“Alright, I guess. Though I’m taking a night patrol off of someone’s hands.” T’van frowned, “Don’t look at me like that. The unit who was supposed to do it had a change of orders. Something about the Coerthas Highlands.” That caused T’van to pause, _‘Isn’t that where the Commander went?_ ’ he thought - but Wilred just gave a laugh. “And that’s fine by me, I don’t think I could handle the snow.”

“I agree with ye there. Make sure t’ take some potions ‘or the road then. I managed t’ make a few without messin’ up.”

“Gladly.” He got up from the chair he had pulled next to T’van’s desk and went to rummage through one of the boxes for said potions. “You feelin’ abit better?”

“Aye, thanks for the food. Though I’ll have to make us somethin’ proper when ye return.”

“Will it be more of those sandwiches? You’ve practically bewitched half the Braves with those things.” T’van laughed and started putting his tools in order again.

“It can be, is that what ye be cravin’?”

“Guess it’ll depend on how the patrol goes, if we end up fightin’ something I don’t think the sandwiches will fill me up.”

“I can cook up somethin’ else then.”

“Is there anything you can’t make, T’van?”

‘My own confidence?’ The miqo’te answered silently, before he gave a smile towards Wilred instead. No need to pull down the light conversation with his odd sense of humor. “That’s a secret!” He bid farewell to Wilred as he makes off for his patrol, and T’van is left alone. Well, sort of Alone. There was a spare Brave here or there, aswell as the Scions. He hadn’t spoken to the Scions much, but he did know their names and faces at least. He had to thank Tataru for that, she had easily given him a book on each scion. But still, he wouldn’t bother them with keeping him company. He took a deep breath and decided to keep working on what he had before - hopefully with less mistakes this time.

Riol, who was one of the Braves still around, came to chat with him at some point. It was nice, talking with someone else from Limsa. He also needed a repair done on his eye patch, and T’van worked on it as quick as he could, it probably wasn’t comfortable to not have it on.

“Thanks lad, I owe ye.” Riol said as he fastened the eyepatch back into place.

“Nothin’ to thank, it was an easy fix.” T’van smiled, putting his weaving materials away.

“Ye seem so busy though, was worried I’d be takin’ ye away from somethin’ important.”

“Oh, no. It’s mostly busy work right now. I’m waitin’ for Wilred to get back from patrol and I was gonna make us some supper.”

“Mind if I stick around for that? I heard your cookin’ is just as good as the bismarks.”

“Where are those rumors comin’ from -- My dad just knows the head chef cause they trade.” T’van turned his chair back to face forward, giving a small grumble that he hoped Riol wouldn’t hear. “He took pity on me and decided to teach me how to cook.”

“Pity?”

Realizing he had said that a little too loud, T’van shook his head. “It’s nothin’, ye’re welcome to stay if ye want some food.” And so he does, and he doesn’t bring up anything more about the comment T’van said, thank the Tweleve. He doesn’t feel like going on an even more of a self pity rant than he already had. He couldn’t keep going on like that. One reason on the _list_ of reasons he joined the Braves was to change, and that’s what he was going to do.

T’van started cooking not even a bell later, if only to make sure that Riol and himself didn’t starve to death while waiting for Wilred. The owner of the tavern was more than happy to lend his kitchen to T’van again in exchange for some food for himself. It was nice, he couldn’t help but think. He had only ever cooked for himself and his pops before - and while his pops had a gigantic appetite, he doesn’t remember the last time he made this much food; much less shared it with a number of people.

Just as he was finishing up, Wilred and his unit walked in. “Oh I know what that smell is!” The highlander teen said excitedly and rushed over to the counter. The rest of the unit seemed to rush over to get a look and smell of what T’van was making.

“It’s not done yet! All ye sit yer arses down I’ll be done in a minute.” T’van laughed as they all obeyed without a second thought and went to find avialable seats.

“If being a Brave doesn’t work out for you, you’re welcome to be my permanent chef.” The tavern owner said with a grin.

“I appreciate the offer - but they’re not gettin’ rid of me that easily.”

Finishing the food, the owner helped him make plates to give out to all the Braves, and some of the customers who had stuck around to try some. T’van felt relief rush through his system when he got positive feedback on it, he had been worried there for a moment considering he hadn’t made so much food for strangers before. No, no some of them weren’t strangers at all. They were his comrades, brothers and sisters in arms, the Defenders of Eorzea! A smile came to his face at that thought while he finally made himself a plate and went to sit with Riol and Wilred.

If he could do this much for them, and them be so happy with the results, maybe he wasn’t as much of a burden as he thought.

“Ah this food reminds me of home.” Riol said after finishing the last bit of food on his plate. Wilred had finished long before either of them, practically shoveling it into his mouth.

T’van was still picking at his plate, while he was certainly in a better mood - worries still plagued his mind. Wilred seemed to pick up on this. “What’s wrong T’van? Still worried about Rhesh?”

“Ah!” He was started, nearly dropping his fork. He heard a comment from Riol, something about ‘hittin’ the nail on the head’ before he spoke again. “Yeah, part o’ it. I was thinkin’ of bringin’ her some food but I don’t think she can eat this much yet.” He said and a small yawn left his lips afterwards, which he hid behind a gloved hand. “And I was hopin’ to make somethin’ for the Commander - he forgets to eat.” He’s not sure where that thought comes from, but it’s out of his mouth before he can stop it.

“Maybe just try bringin’ her somethin’ tomorrow, lad. Ye’re good at the stove but I don’t think even ye can cook while lackin’ sleep.” Riol said, patting T’van on the head. “ ‘nd ‘bout the Commander - well, I doubt he’s comin’ back tonight. Ye can always make somethin’ for him later.”

T’van gave a small nod, a slight flush came across his cheeks as he couldn’t help but think ‘ _but i wanted to cook for him - I wanted him to taste this food too. Maybe I’d see him smile at me again’_

“He’s right. How about we bring something over to Rhesh and the Domans tomorrow morning at least?”

“...A’ight.”

T’van tried to insist on helping to clean up, but the owner literally pushed him out the door and almost made him topple down the small stairs in front if Wilred hadn’t been there to catch his wheelchair. They laughed about it though, and made their way towards their room.

“Say, T’van--” Wilred started as soon as they were back into the privacy of their shared room.

T’van looked up after taking off the goggles from his head, patting down some of his hair and taking the bun out and letting his braids tall down his back. He does remember Wilred commenting on how long his hair actually was at some point - but this wasn’t about that. The miqo’te could tell by the look on the other’s face that it was something else.

“About….about this morning….”

“Ye ready to talk about it?” Wilred nodded, and T’van gave a soft smile then motioned Wilred over to sit down on one of the beds. The highlander sits on his own, running a hand down his face. T’van gave him a second to collect his thoughts, taking off his gloves and setting them down.

When Wilred is finally ready to speak, he rambled. He told T’van everything. How he was tricked into make an attempt of summoning his god, how he had met the Warrior of Light - attacked her of all things! - and how the she had saved his life. That last one not happening before a few of his friends had died. He blamed himself for all of it. He started crying at some point, and T’van reached out to hold onto Wilred’s hand to give him some comfort without interrupting his story.

“I--I joined the Braves, thinking I could have a second chance. But do I deserve it? Am I not just a burdern to everyone else?” The word striked T’van’s heart. Wilred, of all people, thought he was a burden? _That was T’van’s line!_

The younger huffed, pulling his hand away from Wilred’s to lightly hit his face. Very lightly, could not even be considered a slap, but it was enough to get Wilred’s attention. “Ye better stop that talk right now.” Wilred stared at him wide eyed as T’van pulled his hand back to put it in his lap. “Ye made mistakes, a couple o’ big ones- there’s no denyin’ that. But if anyone deserves a second chance, it’s ye. I’m sorry ‘bout yer friends, truly. But ye wouldn’t be doin’ them justice if ye just dropped out now.”

The words shook Wilred, he could tell because Wilred was visibly shaking. T’van sighed and put his hand on the other’s shoulder, trying to give an encouraging smile. “Weren’t ye the one who said ‘Not every problem is yers alone t’ bare’ ? I’m here for ye Wilred, ye can talk to me ‘bout anythin’. Not t’ mention I’m sure the other Braves don’t think of ye as a burden, from what i’ve heard yer a good soldier.” Wilred’s tears only seem to fall faster and he leaned down to give T’van a hug as best as he could. T’van’s chair does roll back a little, but they get balanced enough so he doesn’t completely topple over. T’van smileed and hugged Wilred back, patting his head. They stay like that for some time, but Wilred ended up pulling away eventually. He rubbed at his red eyes, a hiccup or two leaving him as he tried to stop crying.

“Thanks, T’van.”

“Not a problem, Wilred. Now let’s get ready for bed, aye? We’re gonna have t’ get up early if I wanna bring Rhesh and the domans food.”

“Right.”

They both slept a little easier that night. Though T’van couldn’t help but let his mind wander just before his eyes fell closed. Was the Commander taking care of himself? Would T’van even see him tomorrow? One last yawn left his lips before his eyes finally fell closed and he drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	4. Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphinaud starts looking a little more closely at things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew I'm sorry this one took so long. Been busy with job hunting, and this chapter took alot of editing and I'm still not sure if I got to everything I wanted/needed to. Anyways, Enjoy!  
> EDIT: found a big mistake I made -- it's fixed now though but god that gave me a heartattack and I practically launched myself onto my computer to fix it

That meeting had been a bloody nightmare if you were to ask Alphinaud. Yes, the leaders were finally going to do something - but it took a new emperor being chosen in Garlemald for that to happen. The Elezen rubs at his forehead with a sigh. At the very least he now had a moment to breathe. Captain Ilberd had reassured him on who he believed the Ivy was, and asked for the Warrior of Light’s assistance. Koko could definitely handle it, he had faith in her. He also had faith in her constant lance wielding companion, Sarana - even if the two of them rarely saw eye to eye.

The duo had already left to meet with Ilberd, leaving Alphinaud at Nophica’s Altar. He wasn’t sure if he should stay behind and wait for the the Ivy to be caught, or go back to the Rising Stones. Eventually, he decided on the latter. He should check in on how the other Braves are doing; when he had left Rhesh had yet to be freed from the Doman’s care and many Braves were out doing extra patrols and missions. Yes, going back might be the safest and smartest option, as a commander.

It only took him minutes to return to the Rising Stones thanks to the Aetheryte - he counted his blessings the Scions made their move here and established the Rising Stones when they did. It made such a difference.

He walked into the tavern leading to the Rising Stones entrance and found a good number of his Braves taking a seat and eating happily. It only took seconds for some to notice him, and they stood to salute him. He chuckles softly at how clumsy it was all done, but he gave a salute bak. “Sit, enjoy your meals.” There’s a passing thought that he hadn’t eaten in awhile, maybe this was his chance to grab something. Though before he could think further on it, he’s being called over by the tavern owner.

“This one was left for you.” A plate full of food, so much in fact he does not think he could finish it all in one sitting, was pushed over to him.

“I --” He paused. “I didn’t even know I was coming back today. Who-”

“T’van, of course.” The tavern owner grinned. “The boy is a miracle worker, doing all that crafting and making food for everyone on top of that. He’s been making extra meals for those who come in late, for some of my customers, and for you- incase you were to show up.”

He couldn’t help but smile at that. T’van had settled in nicely, it seemed. He was even in good relations with the locals. As much as the Braves were a military force, it was important for them to make good relations and impressions as well. He thanked the tavern owner before picking up the plate of food.

“There’s room o’er here, Commander!” He looked over at the call to see a Sea Wolf Roegadyn waving his hand. He sat at one of the round tables with an elezen woman across from him. Normally, he would’ve just taken the food into the Rising Stones to eat alone. But it was important to spend time with his troops as well, so he took the offer and sat down at the free seat at the table.”Got alot on yer plate there. T’van must be worried ‘bout ye.”

“What makes you say that? Er….” He felt awful that he’s drawing a blank on the other’s name, but the Roegadyn doesn’t seem to mind and just laughs.

“Aergmhus sir! And I’ve noticed a pattern with T’van.” He said, shoving a piece of meat into his mouth and from Alphinaud’s perception - seemed to swallow it whole. “He tends t’ give more stuff t’ people he’s worried ‘bout in general. Like Ephemie for example-” He gestured over to the woman Elezen across from him. “Was lookin’ a little worse for wear after a patrol and T’van gave her maybe 10 hi-potions and more food at supper.”

“It was a little much.” Ephemie laughed softly “But it was nice of him. Sometimes I take my health for granted, and I’m sure others do too. So T’van looking out for us is a good thing.”

“Ye could say that again! The lad stopped me from headin’ out with an ax that was about t’ fall in two just now. He said he’ll have it fixed up or give me a new one after I was done eatin’.”

Alphinaud listened silently as he tried to make a dent in the amount of food given to him. He wondered why he hadn’t spent time like this with his Braves before. He wouldn’t have known anything like this otherwise. Or maybe he would, but it would’ve been in a more..formal setting. And there’s only so much soldiers were willing to admit in such a setting. But in the tavern where lips were loose, it was easier to get the smallest details out of them.

“I do worry about him a little myself, though.” Alphinaud lifted his head to look at Ephemie when she spoke. “Last night he fell asleep at his station and I saw Wilred and Riol carry him and his chair out. And earlier he almost crashed into the Aetheryte coming back from the marketplace. Thank the twelve Slafborn was there too stop him.”

Alphinaud frowned at that. He remembers T’van and Wilred making a game out of it the first time it happened, like it was on purpose. But this didn’t sound the same.

“Was no one with him to help?”

“Not from what I hear. When I asked him about it, he said there was no need to drag someone just to get a spare hammer. Though I can’t help but wonder how he got up the hill by himself in the first place.”

“He’s from Limsa Lominsa! It’s all just a bunch o’ slopes. There are a few different staircases but it’s possible t’ get around without usin’ them.” Aergmhus said in a matter of fact tone. “Though, the aethernet was prob’bly ,more useful t’ him than anythin’.”

“Too bad there isn’t one here, then he could just teleport to the top of the hill and back down.” The woman said with a sigh. It’s true, that would definitely be useful to him. But him and only him, so there wasn’t enough demand for one. Maybe he should still look into it, though. If more people continue to come to Mor Dhona, then there’s a chance more like T’van would come aswell. He makes a note in the back of his mind before another thought takes over.

“By the way, have either of you heard what has become of Rhesh?”

“Oh, that Miqo’te las?” Aergmhus said with a tilt of his head. “Aye, me thinks she’s still with the Domans. Doin’ better, from what I hear. T’van would be able to tell ye more, he’s been making trips t’ see her and give the Domans supplies.”

“Ah, thank you Aergmhus.” T’van was certainly keeping himself busy. This combined with what Ephemie said earlier, he wondered if it was almost too busy. He’ll have to ask T’van for details later.

After clearing off half of his plate, Alphinaud deemed himself too full. “I’ll take care of that, commander.” Ephemie said, grabbing both his and Aergmhus’s plates. “Go get your axe, and I’m sure you need to check in with the Scions, Commander.”

Right. He had been on his way to do that when he had been distracted by food and conversation. “Thank you Ephemie. It was nice to chat with you.” With a small bow of his head he made his ways towards the Rising Stones, the Roegadyn held the door open for him. He headed straight to the Solar, but made a mental note to visit T’van’s station later on. He does see Aergmhus going over to T’van’s desk as he gives a short glance to it.

He gets an update from Ilberd about the jamming devices while reporting to Minfilla. Well that certainly wasn’t good, but he’s told that Koko and Sarana were already on their way to fix the problem - so his mind could rest easy.

“It is good to see you back, Alphinaud.” Minfilla said with a smile. “I’m impressed with how well the Braves worked without you, however. They seem to all share your conviction.”

“I have to say I was surprised aswell, considering Captain Ilberd has also been with me or out on his own.” There’s a swell of pride in his chest, but he gave a bow and decided not to boast further. “Though I will still be checking on everyone. If you’ll excuse me.”

“Oh, tell T’van that his supper was delicious.”

“Ah, he cooked for you aswell?”

“He offered all of the Scions some. He definitely has a talent, I’m glad you gave him the chance to come aboard.”

Alphinaud smiled and gave another small bow before leaving the Solar and headed into the main room. His first stop was indeed T’van’s desk, so he’d be able to pass on he words of praise sooner than expected. However-- T’van wasn’t there?

Or rather it appeared to be that way. Closer inspection revealed his ears twitching and just barely shown over the desk. Alphinaud raised an eyebrow before walking around his desk, finally seeing T’van. He was leaning against the wall, goggles on his face and mumbling to himself. His chair was flipped sideways and pulled as close as he could manage it, blocking Alphinaud’s view of pretty much anything else.

The elezen cleared his throat, and he heard the clanking of what he assumed is tools being dropped. T’van scrambled for a moment, using the chair to pull himself up slightly to look over it and at Alphinaud. “C--Commander- sir! I was just--” He trails off, frowning as he pulled his goggles to his head. Alphinaud couldn’t help but notice the bags under T’van’s eyes. His earlier assumption might be correct, T’van had been working way too hard.

“Just?”

“My chair has been actin’ up. I was hopin’ it’d be an easy fix.”

Alphainud blinked and stepped closer to the station, standing behind it with T’van and leaning over to look at the chair. “Is it not?” He will admit he knew nothing about the mechanics of T’van’s chair. It was a marvel to be sure, but he hadn’t bothered to look further, and regrets not doing so now.

“It’s partly just old parts.” The miqo’te sighed, picking his tools back up off of his lap. Ah, so it had been tools he dropped. “Parly just bein’ somewhere new. The trip over did me no favors.” Right, T’van had traveled on his own, hadn’t he? He couldn’t imagine how difficult going through the rugged terrain and avoiding creature was for him. “I think an...incident that happened yesterday might have been the last strain the ol’ girl could take.”

“You mean when you almost crashed and Slafborn saved you?” T’van nearly dropped the tools again. “Ephemie told me.”

“Well---” His face is red, and Alphinaud has to resist the urge to chuckle. “Aye - I think it was. I shoulda taken care o’ it before I left Limsa though. I guess -- guess I was in a hurry.” He does remember T’van’s conviction to get to the Braves when they were recruiting, and how it had taken him longer than expected.

“Well, how about we get it fixed.”

“Eh?” T’van’s head shot up to look at Alphinaud. What? Had he said something funny?

“Well?”

“We’d-- We’d have t’ go all the way to Limsa, and there’s some parts that can only be got in Gridana and maybe even Uldah--”

“That’s fine isn’t it?”

“But--But I’m sure yer busy commander! I’ll try t’ make some repairs meself and maybe order some parts.”

“Only for it to crash on you while you’re waiting for said parts?” Alphinaud huffed, standing up straight. “No, this won’t do. Let’s start with Limsa Lominsa. I believe I remember you saying you got help from the blacksmithing and armor crafting guilds?” T’van gives a small nod, staring up at him. He wasn’t sure if it was in awe or in shock that the other was staring at him, though. “Is it good enough for you to sit in and move a while longer?”

“She ain’t dead yet, sir.” With a grunt, he started to push the chair off of his lap, and Alphinaud helps. Soon the chair was upright and T’van was crawling into it. Alphinaud makes another mental note about T’van, he has ridiculous arm strength. But maybe that’s to be expected, he does work with his hands all day, his arms surely have to keep up. “Should we be doin’ this now though, sir? It’ll likely be dark by the time we get to the blacksmith’s guild.”

“I can be quite persuasive.” Alphinaud said, and T’van laughed so hard he doubled over for a moment. Had he said something funny? He was only telling the truth.

“I’d love t’ see ye try anythin’ on Miss H’naanza.” T’van said after his fit. Unsure who T’van was talking about, Alphinaud let the topic slide and pulled him out from behind his desk. In doing so he does feel a bit of a different from when he had pushed T’van’s chair previously. It wasn’t as...smooth, he wanted to say. It mattered not, if Alphinaud had his way it would be fixed in no time. Not only did he need T’van and any of his equipment, including his chair, in working order; but he also needed a distraction. He couldn’t worry himself to death with the Ivy, it was covered and now he just had to wait. But waiting was the worst part.

“Shall we go?” Alphinaud looked down at T’van, and in return T’van looked up at him and gave a nod. He does know he hasn’t asked T’van about Rhesh yet, but that can be saved until after their current mission.

Off to Limsa Lominsa they ported.

Getting to the main plaza and then to the aftcastle was no big deal for them. He remembers Aergmhus’ words about the aethernet being of use to T’van and he was certainly right. However when it came to the stairs next to the small crystal at the aftcastle, Alphinaud frowned.

“If ye put me along the edge I can pull myself up.” T’van stated, pointing towards the small walls next to the stairs.

“No, No, I think I’m perfectly capable of pushing you up myself T’van.” He later regretted those words. It was definitely tougher than he imagined. T’van was holding back laughter the entire time, he could tell. He let a few escape as soon as they were up the stairs and on their way to the guilds. Alphinaud’s face flushed but he’s convinced it was only because of the physical labor he put himself through. He’s now thankful they came late so no one had to see that embarrassing display.

“We can talk t’ Miss H’naanza first, she’s likely still here.” T’van said after he calmed down from his laughter, pointing towards the slope off to the side. Alphinaud nodded and was thankful for no more stairs. He pushed T’van down, though it was more him holding the chair back from spiraling down on his own. It’s then he makes another observation about the chair, it creaked a little bit as he held it back.

“Miss H’naanza?” T’van calls when they get to the bottom. Not even a moment later a miqo’te woman is approaching them, pulling her goggles onto her head for a moment to show wide eyes.

“I barely recognized ye T’van!” She said with a grin as she put the goggles back on her face. “Look at ye, uniform n’ everythin’.” Alphinaud couldn’t help but smile as T’van gave a mock Crystal Braves salute to her and laughed. He stepped around the other’s chair to approach the woman and hold out his hand to her.

“Greetings, I’m Alphinaud Leveilleur. I am the Commander of the Crystal Braves.” The woman returned the handshake with a strong grip.

“Aye, I know who you are. Names H’naanza Esi, I’m the forgemaster here. Now, what has you boys comin’ by so late?”

“Ah, the ol’ girl is on her last legs.” T’van said as he rolled closer. It seemed to only take the foremaster a glance to realize needed repairs.

“You couldn’t have come earlier?”

“Well, I-”

“That would be my fault.” Alphinaud spoke up, causing the two miqo’tes to look up at him - the younger in complete surprise. “I wanted to escort him here myself in case anything happened enroute, however I failed to calculate how long my other duties would keep me. I apologize for any inconvenience it may have caused you.”

H’naanza seemed to look him over, it was difficult to tell when those dark goggles over her eyes. Eventually she gives a nod. “Well, at least yer takin’ responsibility. And as such, ye’ll have to go get me materials.” She said pointing at him. Well, that’s not quite what he expected.

“Er, alright. What exactly is needed?”

“Let me make you a list but hm-” She taps her chin for a moment. “Yer gonna need someone t’ go with ye. Some stuff will be heavy.” Putting her hand down, she looks towards T’van. “Where’s ye father at, boy? He coulda easily brought everythin’ by now.”

“Ah, uh, pops doesn’t know I’m ‘ere.” T’van said nervously, running his hands up and down the armrests. “I wanted t’ surprise him.”

“Well, yer Commander ‘ere can do that for ye.” The forgemaster turned back to Alphinaud. “The ol’ man will still be at the docks. Ye can’t miss him. If ye do, just yell out for Hal.”

Alphinaud stared for a moment before giving a nod. Well, he supposed he could do that. Surely T’van’s father knew more about T’van’s chair than anyone. Plus, the way she worded how he would need help troubled him, so he wouldn’t mind the extra assistance.

After giving H’naanza time to look over the chair and write down everything that they would need, she gave the list to Alphinaud and went to see if any smiths and amorers were around to lend a hand. T’van sat against the wall, grinning sheepishly up at Alphinaud.

“S’rry t’ make ye do all this, Commander.”

“It’s no trouble at all, T’van. As Commander I need to make sure all my Braves have what they need.” He smiles towards the miqo’te and tucks the list away. “I’m rather excited to meet your father as well. If he’s half the man you tell of in your stories then I’m honored to be able to meet him.”

T’van waved his hands in front of him with a laugh. “Ye flatter me and me pops, Commander. N’ just so ye know, Pops is normally at the very end of the dock this time o’ night. If ye can’t point him out the fisherman’s guild is right next t’ where he is. Someone in there can point ye in the right direction.”

“Thank you. Well, I’ll be off.”

Getting to the docks was easy enough, but he sighed as soon as he gets there. He should’ve asked what T’van’s father looked like - none of T’van’s stories had him going into his father’s looks. He assumed, however, he was looking for someone who resembled T’van in some way. So he walked up and down the dock for a moment. There was a lalafell and a Roegadyn fisher out, but not Miqo’te. He frowned and headed in the direction of the fisherman’s guild - hoping they could point him out.

“Hello?” He called as he stepped into the guild.

“Aye.” He looked over to see who had answered him, and sees a lalafell on a stool. Alphinaud made his way over to them. “What do ye need?”

“Sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for a Mister Hal? I’m here on request of his son.”

There’s a pause as the lalafell tilts their head. “Oh, T’van ye mean.” Alphinaud nodded. “Ol’ Hal is at the end of the dock. Can’t miss him - I mean, it’s hard to miss any Roegadyn now aint it?”

Alphinaud’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor. “I’m sorry - Roegadyn?”

“Aye -- Wait, did that boy forget t’ mention his pops was a Roegadyn? Well, I suppose he can’t really help it - them two have been t’gether for as long as I can remember. It probably doesn’t phase them anymore.”

“I---thank you.” He gave a small bow before walking out of the guild.

 _T’van was adopted,_ he couldn’t help but think. Honestly, the thought had never crossed his mind. Not even once. He had noticed T’van never spoke of a mother, but he had assumed she had simply passed away. That wasn’t such an uncommon thing in Eorzea, but also neither were orphans or cases of adoptions. He mentality nagged at himself the entire way down the dock for not realizing it sooner. Before he knew it, he was standing next to the Roegadyn he had come to search for.

Definitely tall, definitely large, like all Rogadyn’s. Alphinaud took notice to some scars on the other’s arms and face, but besides that he looked just like any fisher he had seen in Limsa. A tunic with the sleeves rolled up, plain pants, boots, and some gloves of varying dull colors. They did seem to have some patch jobs done on them, and he couldn’t help but wonder if that was T’van’s doing.

“Excuse me, might you be Hal?” The Roegadyn hadn’t acknowledged his presence until then, and he looks over. T’van and him might not have been related, but he couldn’t help but note that they both had golden eyes.

“Aye. _Halddaeg_ , if we were t’ be formal. Who are ye?”

“I am Alphinaud Leveilleur.” He said with a bow. “I come as the Commander of the Crystal Braves and --” Alphinaud almost jumped as Halddaeg moved closer to him. Extremely close, tower overing him close.

“Is T’van a’right?”

“Huh? Oh yes, quite fine.” He held his breath until the Roegadyn backed away. He let out a silent sigh of relief and composed himself before continuing. “We are here for repairs on his chair. Unfortunately the trip to Mor Dhona was not kind to it. I was told by the forgemaster that you could help me get these items for her.” He handed the list over to the Roegadyn. After pulling his fishing pole up, and putting it on the dock so his hands were free to take the list.

“Aye, all the normal stuff.” He puts his free hand on his hip and shook his head. “T’van coulda just said he needed a fix--”

“I was unaware of it myself until a bell or so ago. With how much work he’s been doing for the Braves, I can scarcely let him work in such conditions, he deserves much better.”

Halddaeg eyed Alphinaud for a second, under that intense gaze the Elezen’s smile almost falters. He wasn’t sure what to think of this man, but that had met his expectation of what T’van had told him while he had dinner with him - what seems like summer ago at this point. ‘Aye he’s a big softie. Though most folks are scared o’ him right off the bat. He’s got a-- I dunno, rugged? Look ‘bout him.’

“We’ll go to Gridana first. N’ hope we can get everythin’ t’night.”

“After you, sir.”

The trips they took were…..awkward, to say the least. He was so used to talking, to politics, he wasn’t sure how to act around someone who barely said a word. Sure Koko could be the same but at least she would give some sort of reaction. He did try to strike up a conversation or two, talking about T’van’s skill and what he had done for the Braves so far. He had noticed a smile at some point, but it had quickly left when he was talking with someone at the Carpenters guild.

He had taken a look at the list but he didn’t think it was serious when it said large lumber-- Thank the twelve he had collected Halddaeg first so he could pick them up and carry them. There were some other smaller items aswell, which Alphinaud gladly took the bag so at least he was of some use.

“Ul’dah.” The Roegadyn mumbled before walking off with the lumber secured on his shoulder. Didn’t he….want to drop that off first? Oh well, Alphinaud was quick to teleport behind him or risk getting separated.

They went to the goldsmithing guild next. Halddaeg put the lumber down outside of the guild to walk in, Alphinaud followed behind while still holding the bag. Thankfully these items hadn’t been so large, and Alphinaud was given another bag to hold. On their way out, while Halddeg was picking the lumber back up, he heard his linkpearl go off.

“Ah, one moment if you could sir.” He shifts the bags over to one hand so he could put the now free one up to his ear. “This is Alphinaud.” There’s a pause as he listens to the report on the other side. “So you’ve caught her then! Excellent work, Captain Illberd. I’ll---” He hesitates, looking over at Halddaeg and at the bags in his hands. “I’ll be with you as soon as I am able. My hands are quite literally full at the moment.” Another pause. “Do not worry Captain, it will not take me long.” He pulls his hand back down and shifted the bags again. They were heavier than he had originally thought.

“I can take all o’ this back to Limsa if yer busy.”

“Oh, no, I’ll at least drop these off with you. I wouldn’t want to disappear on T’van so suddenly without saying anything. He’d be quite worried.”

A chuckle came from Halddaeg, and Alphinaud felt more relaxed than he had been around the other since meeting him. “Aye, he does that. Gets that from me, I s’ppose.” With that they teleported back to Limsa Lominsa, and easily made their way up to Naldiq & Vymelli's. When they arrived, T’van had been in the same place he had left the miqo’te, and the forgemaster was fussing over the wheelchair with a few others that Alphinaud assumed were either blacksmiths or armor crafters. Halddaeg greeted her, putting the lumber on the ground, and Alphinaud put his bags next to them aswell.

“Pops!” T’van’s called, holding out his arms. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen a brighter smile on T’van’s face. It’s contagious, Alphinaud found, and he has a smile on his face aswell. He couldn’t see Halddaeg’s face, but he’s sure it’s the same.

Halddaeg went over to T’van, picking him up as if he weighed nothing at all to give him a hug. “My boy. Look at ye!” He said with more emotion in his voice than Alphinaud had heard from him all night. “Ye look good in that uniform.” He watched Halddaeg practically hold T’van like a toddler - but the miqo’te didn’t seem to care. Perhaps that was just how it had always been for them, or maybe it’s just because of how small T’van was compared to his father. Either way, Alphinaud made note not to question it.

“Miss Tataru o’ the Scions made it for me! And the Commander suggested makin’ the coat not as long so it was easier t’ get on and off. It’s really comfy.” T’van’s grin only got bigger as he spoke to his father. His head also rolled back to look at Alphinaud, giving him a smile.

“Is that so?” Halddaeg questioned, looking at the Elezen.

“Think nothing of it.” Alphinaud said with a shake of his head. “T’van, do you think you can get back to the Stones by yourself? I have an urgent matter to attend to post haste.”

“Oh-- Aye I can. Once the ol’ girl is fixed up I could roll through all o’ La Noscea.” He said, attempting to straight himself up in his father’s arms. Seeing him do so, his father put him down from his arms at least, though he was still holding onto one to help T’van stand as best he could. T’van gave his best Crystal Braves salute to Alphinaud, which he happily returned.

“I will see you at the Rising Stones anon, then. And might I say it was a pleasure to meet you sir.” He bowed to Halddaeg who gave a nod of his head back. With the formalities out of the way, Alphinaud rushed back up the ramp and ported to his destination.

\----

“You should go, sir.” Alphinaud looked up to see the Captain staring down at him. He had taken a seat away from the interrogation room to think. There was so much to think over, even if their captive had barely said a word.

“I am quite well here, thank you.” He said, a little harsher than intended as he pushed back some of his hair.

“With all due respect, sir.” Ilberd started, sitting down next to Alphinaud on the bench. “You look more than a touch tired. You said you were busy before you came here, didn’t you? Have you taken a rest at all since going back to the Stones?” Now that he mentioned it -- no. His silence seemed to give Ilberd at least one answer he was looking for, but Alphinaud would have to voice the other.

“I went with Limsa Lominsa with T’van.” Ilberd raised an eyebrow. “His chair was in need of repairs. I couldn’t exactly let him work with faulty equipment, especially when he relies on it for his day to day.” Alphinaud explained. “I had to get his father’s help carrying things back from here and Gridana. Did you know his father is a Roegadyn? A rather grizzly looking one too. He was a man of very few words, it’s a wonder how T’van is so talkative.” It took him a moment to realize he was rambling, and he shook his head.

Ilberd chuckled, and Alphinaud took note of the small smirk on his face. “Well it seems you had an eventful night, but I stand by what I said. You should go. Get some rest. Raubahn will be taking over the interrogation soon regardless. I’m only going to exchange some notes with him before leaving myself.”

“Right…” He had mentioned wanting to turn over the investigation completely to the flames now that their job of catching the spy was done. He ran a hand through his hair before standing up. “Thank you, Captain. I think I will go and rest.” But he’s almost too tired to port back to Mor Dhona, all the previous teleporting had taken their number on him. “I think I’ll just have a room at the inn.”

“Alright sir. I’ll give my report to you tomorrow morning.” Ilberd stood up aswell, giving a salute. Alphinaud returned it and moved to part ways. Just before he did however, he turned back around. "By the way, Captain." Ilberd turned back around aswell. "Do you know what's become of Rhesh? I was going to ask T'van but the matter slipped away from me. From what I hear, she's still with the Domans?"

"Aye, that's true. The Domans are nothing if not thorough, they won't release her until she's ready. I've already given her leave not to report to any duty until she's fully healed and passed inspection by both you and me, sir." 

"Right, good. Thank you Captain." With that he continued on his way. He was hoping for a more... _personal_ response, he thinks. Something like what had happened in the tavern. But he was back in a formal setting, it wouldn't be that easy. If only he had asked T'van when he had the chance. Well, there's always the next time he sees the Miqo'te. 

It only took minutes for him to get inside the quicksand, go to the innkeeper, and find himself a room. He instantly collapsed on the bed the second he was able, sighing into the sheets before turning himself over to lay on his back.

He had experienced so much today. Not even Roaille’s capture scratched the surface. His time with T’van and his father had taught him that he still had so much to learn about Eorzea. So much to observe, so much to live. He remembers how happy T’van had looked in his father’s arms and a smile came to his face. He made the Crystal Braves for people like T’van, he couldn’t help but think. For those who needed help, for those who wanted to keep their family’s safe. But also for those that others of this society overlooked. T’van hadn’t let his disability get the better of him, and at every turn proved himself to be a valuable asset. He even went the extra mile to help take care of the other Braves when he or Ilberd were too busy to do so - he almost couldn’t believe Ilberd had tried to turn him away.

Alphinaud closed his eyes, thinking back on the day with a smile on his face and a slight ache in his arms from carrying all those supplies. He’s about to doze off when his linkpearl goes off. He groans and puts his finger to his ear. “Yes?”

“Sorry to disturb you Commander.” Oh, Ilberd. Why call him now if they had just spoken? The thought of something terrible happening made Alphinaud sit straight up on the bed, but his worries are for naught as his right hand keeps speaking. “I just thought you’d like to know that T’van made it back safely.”

“Ah, thank you Ilberd. Make sure you tell him to rest, properly. I’ve been told he falls asleep at his desk alot.”

“Already done, sir.” Alphinaud could hear the highlander chuckle. “Make sure to rest aswell.”

“Have no fear, I literally have nothing else planned until tomorrow.” With that said he pulled his hand away from his ear and stood up off of the bed - deciding to properly get under the sheets himself. Normally he would’ve fussed about changing clothes and undoing his hair, but he was simply too exhausted for that. Despite that though, he fell asleep with a smile on his face. 


	5. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T'van realizes his life will never be the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait! This month has been pretty crazy. I won't go into it but after next weekend I might be able to start posting on a semi normal basis.  
> This chapter is alot of....talking, and setting the stage for events that will happen further on. We're getting into 2.5 territory after/during the next chapter so get your tissues ready.

“So what’s this I hear about you going on a late night date with the Commander last night?”

A black puff of smoke cut off any further conversation as T’van had horribly messed up his synthesis because of his roommates words. Wilred coughed, waving some of the smoke away.

“Who--Who be callin’ it that?!” T’van stuttered, his accent suddenly much worse as his face red turned red. He also had to wave some of the smoke away before it eventually disappeared.

“A few people,” Wilred laughed. “Don’t worry, I don’t believe it - but you were ignoring me. Had to get your attention somehow.”

“I--I was?” T’van pulled his goggles up to his head. “Sorry, I h’ve alot on me mind.”

“Like the Commander?” Wilred teased, and T’van’s cheeks puffed out before he reached across the counter to give Wilred a hard shove. Though he could barely reach as all Wilred had to do was lean back slightly to get out of range. Though it did almost cause him to fall out of the chair he had set up in front of the desk, which T’van took as a victory. “I’m serious!” The older laughed as he put all four legs of the chair back onto solid ground.

“Well, sort of….but also because of the Warrior of Light….”

“Koko? Why would you be worryin’ about her?”

“Well….while taking Minfillia and some of the Scions supper I heard ‘bout the next primal that she might have t’ fight and --” He looks down at his tools, that same wave of uselessness that he had been trying to hold back crashed on him once more. She was off to fight some monster and all he could do was repair gear and make potions. A hand on his shoulder caused him to look up, and now it was Riol looking down at him.

“Trust me lad, if she can take down Titan then she can take care o’ herself.”

“R-Riol! When did you--”

“Hard t’ not notice ye two when there’s a puff of smoke. What are ye kids up t’ this time?”

“Don’t treat us like children! We’re Braves like the rest of you.” Wilred grumbled as he propped his arm up on T’van’s desk, resting his hand in his palm.

“Oh? Did I hit a sore spot?” Riol said, taking his hand off of T’van’s shoulder to ruffle Wilred’s hair, and the younger batted his hand away.

“I just feel like I haven’t gotten a real mission ‘cause of my age. I’m eighteen summers old! I can handle myself.” Wilred sighed, “It’s always just patrol or something else of the like.”

“Ho there, patrols are important.” T’van argued before Riol even had a chance to. There’s a part of him that just wanted to scream at Wilred. At least he could do that much! T’van would love that kind of chance. His roommate seemed to understand after they stared at each other for a moment and he sighed, putting his hands up.

“Fine, Fine, you win ’van.”

“Damn right I do, Wil.”

Riol looked between the two of them and chuckled, which caused both of them to look up at him. “ ‘m glad you two are gettin’ ‘long so well, ye sure yer not the two datin’ and not T’van and the commander?”

“Absolutely not!” “O’ course not!” The two said in unison which only made Riol laugh harder.

“Huh- wait--” T’van blinked as what Riol said fully registered with him. “Who’s sayin I’m datin’ the Commander! I’m not!” T’van said as he slammed his fists on his station, his face bright red. “He--He just took me t’ get me chair fixed--”

“And I hear he also met yer pops, didn’t know ye were already in-introducing him to the family!” Wilred laughed too, and it took all of T’van’s strength not to throw some of his tools at them. Instead he buried his face in his hands and gave a frustrated groan, an effective way to hide his red face aswell.

“ ‘m just messin’ with ye T’van,” Riol said having finally calmed down from his laughing fit, though a chuckle or two were still escaping him as he patted T’van’s head. The Miqo’te looked up and gave the older the best glare he could muster - which only seemed to make Riol laugh again. “Ye two should be lookin’ for those kind o’ relationships while ye got the chance.”

“What, you’re saying before we get as old as you?” Finally T’van got a chance to laugh while Riol glared at them both.

“Hm, I guess I’ll take back me thinkin’ of recommendin’ ye t’ full time duty--”

“Really?!” Wilred was on his feet in less than a second, effectively knocking over the chair he had been sitting in before. T’van chuckled awhile Riol shook his head.

“Keep a good work on patrols lad, and I’ll see what I can do for ye.” He said as he poked Wilred’s chest. Wilred gave a salute in return.

“ ‘Course sir!”

“Good, now I’ll leave ye be. Try not t’ set the Rising Stones aflame T’van. ‘N don’t worry ‘bout the Warrior of Light, she can handle herself.”

Oh right, that’s how this conversation started hadn’t it? T’van gives a nod and a salute to Riol before leaving the blond be and turning back to Wilred and his tools. He pulled his goggles down over his eyes with a small sigh. He still felt the blush across his cheeks but hopefully that would go away. All because of some stupid rumor -

Him and the commander? Honestly - who would think that would even work! Sure, the Commander was a great person; and anyone would be lucky to have someone so smart and charismatic and handso---

A sharp pain was felt and T’van yelped,falling back into his chair with just the right amount of force to make it roll back a foot or two. It takes him a moment for him to realize what had happened. Wilred had grabbed his goggles, pulled them away, and let them go so they came to slap him in the face. “What was that for?!”

“You gotta stop ignoring me.”

“Ye need t’ find friendlier ways t’ get someone’s attention.” T’van removed his goggles completely so he could rub at his face, his ears pressed back against his head. “That hurt.”

“Are you worryin’ again?” Wilred asked, “Cause don’t ’m sure---oh.” T’van tilted his head as something caught Wilred’s attention. He turned his head to see exactly what - or rather who once he had looked and - oh. OH.

“M--Miss Koko--” The Warrior of Light, at his station? He must be dreaming--

“Please, don’t call me that.” The mage shook her head. “Anyways you’re-- T’van, right?” T’van quickly nodded his head and turns his chair to face her.

“What can I do for you Mi-- I mean, Koko.” He quickly changed his answer as he saw her glaring at him from under the brim of her hat. It was a wonder her enemies didn’t just drop dead from that look alone.

“You can do repair work, right?”

“Aye, is that what you be needin’?”

“Yes, I’m in a bit of a rush too.” She pulled the large staff she had off her back and put it onto the desk of his station. He takes a look over it. He had never worked with something so…. intricate. Was she sure she wanted him to work on it. “It’s not beyond repair, is it?”

“No, No I think I can work with it.” He put on his goggles as Wilred stood up.

“Don’t worry, T’van’s the best there is.” Wilred slid his chair away to give T’van all the work space he needed.

“So I heard. I’ll be around, I can’t leave without it.” The two of them left T’van alone, and T’van could see Wilred trying to continue conversation with the Warrior of Light as they left. From what he had heard, she wasn’t the easiest person to talk to. Very...aloof, according to the rumors. Wilred had mentioned before that she wasn’t so much that as simply quiet, but at the same time he hadn’t made an effort to really get to know her during their previous interactions. He had also mentioned wanting to talk to her more and possibly mend their relationship after all the mistakes he made. So T’van can’t help but smile at the sight before getting back to the staff.

“Well,” He pulled his gloves down to tighten the fabric over his fingers before grabbing his tools. “Here’s goes everythin’.”

He could vaguely see the Scions gathering when he lifted his head to look at the staff and double check his work. What’s strange is that he doesn’t see the Commander anywhere, he is still technically a Scion is he not? Well, he’s extremely busy so maybe T’van shouldn’t be surprised. He does spot an unfamiliar Roegadyn woman, but she’s there and gone before he can get a decent look. He shouldn’t be looking anyways - he still had work to do!

He’s not sure how long it’s been when he finally pulled his goggles to his head. He’s unsure if it’ll be enough for the famous Warrior of Light, but he did his best. He looked around and didn’t see the scions anywhere, were they still in the Solar? Well he could go over and wait for them at least. He rolled himself out from behind his desk, grabbing the staff and putting it carefully in his lap before making his way across the room. Just as he’s doing so the door to the Solar opens up.

“Oh hey T’van!” Yda greeted him instantly with a small wave. T’van smiled. Yda was always really nice to him, and everyone in general. “Did you need something?” She asked as she hopped up the steps and into the main room, Papalymo and the unfamiliar roegadyn following after her.

“Oh I just gots this t’ give to Koko.” He said, putting a hand on the staff. “She asked me t’ repair it for her.”

“Koko did?” Papalymo asked, looking a bit bewildered.

“What’s so strange about that? T’van can do repairs just as good as any mender.” Yda said confidently, causing T’van’s face to flush a little.

“No, No I don’t doubt T’van’s skill. It’s just Koko is...well she doesn’t tend to ask new people for help. She’s very cautious about everything but especially who she trusts with her equipment.”

“The lad must be good then.” the Roe woman laughed and looked at T’van.

“I’m--I’m not that good I--” T’van shook a hand infront of himself with a nervous laugh. “I’m just glad the Warrior o’ Light trusted me with it.”

“Of course she did! You’re great!” Yda said, throwing her hands up for a moment before looking at the Roegadyn. “This is T’van, by the way. He’s a crafter for the Crystal Braves. He also makes us all supper! And T’van, this is Moenbryda! She’s practically my sister.”

“I can see the resemblance.” T’van smiled and offered his free hand to Moenbryda, who laughed and shook his hand firmly.

“It’s a pleasure, I’m sure.” She grinned. “Now supper sounds like a good idea, but we need to get this show going -- say think you can fix something up for us for when we get back? We’re gonna need it after spending so much aether.”

“Oh! Oh that sounds lovely.” Yda smiles. “Think you could cook us something T’van?”

“O’ course.” He can’t help but feel a pang of worry at Moenbryda’s words though - what were they going to do that would require so much aether that they would be tired out? He tried to shake off the nerves and give them a smile. “I’ll start on somethin’ soon.” He said as Thancred and Y’shtola were walking out of the Solar and joining the group.

“Spoiling us again are you?” Thancred laughed as he joined the group.

“Yes he is! Oh I can’t wait to get back and eat!” Yda announced, practically pulling Moenbryda along to the exit, the rest of the scions soon following suit. T’van decided to go down the stairs and at least knock on the Solar’s door, everyone but the Warrior of Light and Minfilia had left right? He felt like he was forgetting someone...

The door almost knocked into him and sent him somewhat off balance, but someone quickly reached out to grab his chair before it fell over. Oh Urianger, that’s who he was forgetting.

“My apologies.”

“No, it’s my fault. S’rry ‘bout that.” He’ll admit he’s barely spoken to Urianger, but he has given him alot of books about crafting, especially alchemy since it was T’van’s main interest.

“Did you need something of the Antecedent?”

“Ah, Moreso the Warrior o’ Light.” T’van held up the staff he had a near death grip on because he hadn’t wanted to drop it while that little accident just happened. Urianger nodded and held the door open for T’van to roll himself in carefully, giving a thanks as he passed by the Elezen. He can’t help but wonder if any of the other Braves that weren’t a high rank were allowed into the Solar so easily. He shakes the thought as Minfillia called to him.

“Oh, T’van, come in.”

Koko has her eyes trained on him as he approached, which only made him even more nervous about the work he had done. He also notices Sarana, who seemed to care less about his presence - or was that just how she always looked?

“H-Here’s your staff M---Koko.” Catching himself before he slipped up again, he offered the staff to her. She took it eagerly and looked it over, Sarana looking over her shoulder as she did. “I’ve never repaired somethin’ so detailed so ‘m sorry if I scuffed it up.”

“No, it’s fine.” And that’s all it took for T’van to practically melt in his chair. Oh thank the navigator. “I actually wasn’t expecting for you to be done so quickly.”

“Well - ye did say ye were in a hurry, didn’t ye?” He rubbed at the back of his head.

“Hells, the kid said he was good but that was quick huh.” T’van raised an eyebrow over at Sarana. Who was she talking about? Sarana seemed to notice him staring “Your commander, kid.”

“The Commander told you to come to me?”

“Why of course.” Minfillia interjected with a smile. “You’ve shown time and time again that you’re an excellent crafter T’van, Alphinaud thinks highly of your skills.”

“He--He does?!” T’van is a little embarrassed he said that probably louder than he needed to.

“He does.” Koko confirmed, looking like she was hiding a laugh behind her hand. “Thanks.”

The two Au Ra women walk out, talking amongst themselves. He barely hears them leave, he’s too overwhelmed. The Commander thought highly of his skills and the Warrior of light thanked him! He buried his face in his hands for a moment to process all of this and is only brought out of his moment by the sound of Minfillia sighing.

“Are ye a’right?” T’van asked, pushing his own emotions away as he rolled up to her desk. Minfillia seemed to barely notice him for a second, staring off to the side before her head finally turned to him.

“I….am worried. What they’re doing is extremely risky, but we don’t have any other options and --” She sighed again, shaking her head. “Forgive me, I should not vent.”

“No, it’s a’right.” T’van gave a smile. “I was gonna make supper for everyone, why don’t ye come to the tavern with me? Help get your mind off of everythin’ for a moment.”

The smile she gives is sad, worried, but happy all mixed in. He remembered his father giving him a similar look before he left to join the Braves. “Yes...Yes that would be delightful, T’van.” Minfillia gestured to his chair, and he gave a nod in return. She walked around her desk and behind his chair, grabbing onto the handles of his chair and pushing him out of the Solar. It took her a second to figure out how exactly to push him up the small stairs but she managed it with some of his encouragement, and the same with the stairs leading to the tavern.

“I’d suggest making them something warm since they’ll be coming back from Corethas.” Minfillia said as she pushed T’van behind the main counter, only stopping as she gave a greeting to the tavern owner.

“That sounds like a plan, do ye wanna help me?”

“It’s been a while since I cooked anything, I’m not sure how much help I’ll be.”

“The counters are abit high for me, if ye could just help me cut up some things that’ll help a load. Mostly me arms from bein’ sore ‘morrow.” Minfillia paused for a moment before giving a nod. T’van smiled and gave her instructions on what to get. He was glad she decided to help, not only to help him but he hoped keeping her busy would ease her worries- if only a little. It helped him at times after all. They chatted while they cooked, mostly Minfillia asking about what to cut and how much, but it was sitll a good distraction while it lasted.

“A’right now we just gotta wait for a bit.” He said, stirring the stew idly before leaving it to sit for a moment.

“Is this a Liminsan recipe?”

“Aye, it gets cold at night when my pops and some o’ the other fishers go out. So I try t’ make somethin’ warm for them.”

“It seems that you’ve always been a kind person, haven’t you T’van?”

“Takes one t’ know one,eh?” T’van turned back to her, and chuckled at the stunned look on her face. “Pardon, I might know ye that well, but it takes a certain kinda person t’ do yer job and still...care so much.” She smiles softly and stepped closer to pat his shoulder.

“Thank you, T’van.”

“It’s not a pr’blem, ye can talk t’ me any time ye need it- a’right?”

“I’ll be sure to remember that.” She pulls away, looking towards the tavern door as it opened. “Now I think our hungry customers are here.”

“Well it should be ‘bout done, go on and greet them.”

Minfillia nodded and left to do just that as T’van turned back to the stew and started to pour everyone bowls. He put two in his lap carefully and rolled himself over to the counter. Yda noticed him first and waved before walking over to the counter. The Miqo’te put the two bowls on the counter, “Here ye are, gimme a moment and I’ll have everyone’s out.”

“I don’t know what we would do without you T’van!” She laughed and grabbed the bowls, bringing them over to a table where papalymo was sitting. She came back to grab the other bowls he would put on the counter, taking them over to the other Scions.

“Where’s Miss Moenbryda?” He asked, noticing the Roegadyns absence.

“She stayed behind to make sure someone was there when Koko came back. Oh, and Alphinaud is waiting there too, I think.”

Oh, well, that answered the other question he had wanted to ask.

T’van decided to make himself a bowl and sit at the table where Minfillia and Thancred were. “This really hits the spot,” He heard Thancred say as he rolled up to the table. He places his bowl on the table before adjusting his chair. “You really are a miracle worker, aren’t you?”

“No, No I’m not.” T’van laughed, waving his hands in front of him. “I hope ye like it.”

The rest of dinner went on with various conversations, everything ranging from T’van’s crafting to the history of the Scions. It was definitely a worthwhile experience for him. He’s not too sure how long has passed, but it’s dark by the time the Scions are helping him clean up the dishes and heading back into the Rising Stones.

“T’van?”

T’van turned his chair so he can look back, seeing one of the Domans. Hozan, to be exact. He had gotten to know a lot of the Domans since Rhesh had gotten hurt. “Somethin’ the matter?”

“Some of our tools are broken, and I was hoping you could take a look at them.” Right, some of the Domans are helping to build areas in Revenant's Toll. With how little he left the Stones during the day, he almost forgot that their main ‘jobs’, so to speak, weren’t for healing soldiers.

“ ‘Course! Let’s head to me station” Hozan nodded and followed him into the Rising Stones, Thancred held the door open for them. It took only moments for them to be at his station and for Hozan to lay the tools out on the counter.

“I also have these, that could use some work.” Hozan said, putting some daggers on the counter. T’van’s eyes were drawn to them more than the tools and he picks one up, bringing it close to him.

“Yer stabbers seen a lot.”

“That they have.” Hozan said, raising an eyebrow. T’van can feel him staring and raised an eyebrow towards te hyur. “My apologies, I was just under the impression that you’ve never held a blade before.”

“ ‘Cause ‘m in this chair?”

“Because you’re a man of craft.” Hozan clarified.

“.....Is this some Doman thing? Ye can tell if I know how t’ use a stabber?” He asked, putting the dagger down. Hozan seemed to laugh.

“There’s a difference on how you hold them, that’s all.”

“Well, yer right. My pops taught me. ‘Just in case’ he said. Not sure where he learned how t’ use them, He uses a sword - or he did.”

“A retired soldier, then?”

“Aye.” T’van said, deciding to look over the tools as he spoke. “Yellowjackets, a limsan force. But he hurt his leg n’ decided to retire.” Quite the duo, him and his pops were. T’van unable to use both of his legs and his pops having a bad leg. Granted it didn’t mess with him on the day to day now, but it had been a problem summers back. But there’s no need to go into that much detail.

“Do you have something similar on you right now?”

“Aye. They’re in the bag on my chair. I don’t really take ‘m out.” He decided to show Hozan anyways, reaching back to pull his bag close enough for him to reach in it and pull one of them out. He laid it next to the daggers Hozan had brought - his looking so brand new compared to them. “See, lookin’ like they were just forged compared to yers.”

“What’s this on the hilt?” Hozan asked, pointed towards it.

“Surprised ye saw that, it’s hard to see ain’t it?” T’van held up his dagger, pulling on something on the end.

“Is that….wire?”

“Fishin’ wire t’ be exact. The real tough stuff too.” T’van gave it another firm tug before putting it back down. “It was my idea. If I ever do need t’ use these blasted things - I can’t grab them if I drop ‘em or if I throw ‘em. So the wire helps with that. Can reel ‘em back in if I need t’.”

“That’s actually really cleaver.”

“I like t’ think myself cleaver.” He said, putting the dagger back into his bag.

“You should find a better way to hold them. We have extra holsters, if you would like some.”

“Eh…’m not sure I’ll be needin’ them, ye know? I don’t exactly see combat.” Hozan had a grim look on his face for a moment. T’van thinks of what he had been told of the Rebellion - how many people like him - were so convinced they would never have to fight. Or also couldn’t fight, because of ‘complications’. How many of those kinds of people were left behind? Helpless when faced with the empire? T’van bites his lip, maybe he shouldn’t think too much into it. Clearly Hozan was just trying to look out for him. “But...I mean-- if ye think it’ll help.”

“And I would also like to use it to thank you for your services.”

“Ye don’t got---” Hozan holds up a hand.

“I know you have a lot of work to do, and your time is not mine to ask for. So I would appreciate it if you would accept my gift of thanks.”

“....Yer not gonna let me say no.”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Well then.” T’van laughed then took one last look over the tools. “These’ll be an easy fix, if ye want to stick around they’ll be done in about a bell’s time. The stabbers will take longer.”

“Those can wait, the tools are needed more at the moment. I’d be happy to stay if you’ll have me.” Hozan pulled up the chair that Wilred had tossed aside earlier and spoke with T’van as he made the repairs. Hozan had offered for extra training with his daggers, and T’van said he’s consider it. He still doesn’t think he’d need it - he’s just going to be stuck behind a desk for his time as a Brave. Which, he should be okay with. It was more than he was doing just sitting on the Limsan dock hoping he could do something more.

Maybe this was the same sort of situation. He could do more. Or at least, he could try. Otherwise that same feeling of being useless will just wash over him again like it had done back home. Maybe he should talk to Wilred about it, and get another opinion. He could also ask Alphinaud, he knew the Domans rather well…and he’d might need to take some time away from his desk for this and would need permission.

But who knew when Alphinaud was coming back.

He tried not to focus on that, and instead focused on the tools again with some conversation with Hozan on the side. It didn’t take long for the tools to be done and Hozan was wrapping them up to carry again.

“You can leave those until tomorrow, T’van.”

“Are ye sure? I could have ‘em done before the lightman’s.”

“No, you need your rest. And I believe your roommate is waiting for you.” He motioned towards the front of the room, and right on cue Wilred was appearing.

“A’right. How do ye do that?” T’van said, raising an eyebrow towards Hozan.

“Think about my offer and perhaps you can learn.” Hozan gave a smile before walking off, giving a nod to Wilred as they passed one another.

“What did the Domans want of you?” Wilred asked as he came up to the desk.

“T’ confuse the hells outta me.” Wilred tilted his head and T’van chuckled. “Nevermind. He just needed me t’ fix some tools and weapons. But told me I could work on the stabbers t’morrow.”

“Well I’m done for the night, did you make any food? We could eat and head back to the room?”

“Aye, there should be some left over stew in the tavern. If no one ate it all by now. I already ate but I can wait for ye.” Wilred nodded and after T’van put the daggers away in one of the many boxes around his desk, Wilred grabbed the handles of his chair and started pushing him out of the Rising Stones. But they didn’t even get to the main door before the Scions are all filing in, followed by Koko, Sarana, and the Commander. T’van opens his mouth to greet them all, but the grim face of Koko stops him from doing so. She had just come back from fighting a primal did she not? Of course she would look tense but this...was different.

“We best be getting out of their way.” Wilred seemed to agree, pulling the chair back slightly so that they all had a clear path to the Solar. Only Alphinaud seems to stop beforehand, giving Wilred and T’van time to salute to them.

He returned it before speaking. “Are you two done with your duties for the night? Then pray get some rest.”

“Is everything a’right Commander?” T’van asked.

“Just….some complications.” He seemed hesitant to reveal anymore, and T’van simply nodded. He couldn’t very well force the Commander to give him any information.

“We’ll be in the tavern for a bit, so call us if you need us sir.” Wilred said, and Alphinaud gave a nod before the two dismissed themselves. Once they got into the tavern they both released a heavy breath. “You could cut the tension with a sword in there.”

“Tell me ‘bout it.” T’van mumbled. “I’ll grab a table, ye get yer food.” Wilred let go of T’van’s chair, allowing him to roll over and do just that. He pulled up to the closest free table, waiting for Wilred to sit down as he tapped his fingers against the wood. The look on the Warrior of Light’s face was stuck in his mind. He was full glad to see her safe after doing something so dangerous but what had happened to cause her victory to be overshadowed by something else? The Miqo’te barely notices Wilred sitting down next to him and starting to eat. Not until the other pulled on his goggles at least. “Oi--”

“Don’t think about it.” Wilred said, letting go gently instead of letting his goggles come back to slap him in the face like last time. “If they need us, they’ll call for us.”

“Right….” T’van sighed, still staring off for a moment while caused Wilred to give him a worried look.

“Is there more you’re thinking about?”

He glanced over at his roommate. Well, he had wanted the other’s opinion. So he tells Wilred of his conversation with Hozan, and the offer he had made. “I think it’s a great idea.” Wilred said as he pushed his now empty bowl aside. “I am a bit worried. You’re a kind person, T’van. People take advantage of that. Not to mention that I can’t help but think you’ll hurt yourself-” T’van huffed but let Wilred continue, “But there’s nothing wrong with getting better at it. Just like your father said ‘just in case’.We are called the ‘Defenders of Eorzea’ for a reason, there are things and people out there that only want to hurt, so we defend. If you learning a few things from the Domans helps then by gods learn it.” He shook his head. “It might keep whoever might want to take advantage of you being in that chair at bay, if nothing else.”

“.....Huh..” T’van almost laughed as he leaned his head against the palm of his hand.

“What?”

“Nothin’. Yer just soundin’ like an adult.”

“Why I outta--” He had been moving to give T’van a shove, but the Rising Stones doors busting open made the two of them jump and look back. A number of Crystal Braves poured out, T’van recognized some of them as being with the 1st unit. “Hey what’s going on?” Wilred asked a hyur conjurer passing by.

“We’re off to catch a fugitive. Don’t got time to explain more!” Then the man was out, leaving the two teens in his wake.

“Damn it.” Wilred punched a fist into the opposite palm, sighing a moment later.

“Ye’ll get yer chance Wilred.” T’van said, pushing himself out from underneath the table to circle around it and pat his friend on the arm. “Don’t think ‘bout it, right?”

“Right….” Wilred put his hands back at his side. “But I’m just going to -- make sure there’s nothing else I can do one more time.”

“I’ll be here.” T’van said with a wave, letting Wilred run back into the Rising Stones. He leaned back into his chair, fingers idly messing with the braids by his face and the strap of his goggles. He thought back to Hozan’s offer once more. Maybe he should learn a thing or two. He’s still not convinced he’ll need to use those skills -- but who knew when ‘just in case’ would turn into ‘needed in the moment’. He’d be happy if he could go his entire life without having to use the daggers in his bag.

But that’s not the world he stepped into. He joined the Crystal Braves, a military regiment. Ilbred had almost turned him away because he thought he couldn’t fight. Maybe learning a thing or two could at least redeem him in the Captain’s eyes, even if he would never use those skills out in the field.

“T’van.” Not ignoring Wilred this time, he looked up at the sound of the highlander’s voice. “Let’s go.”

“Commander turn ye down?”

“Unfortunately. But Riol was around and said he’d be around to grab me if they need reinforcements.”

“Thank gods for Riol.”

Wilred nodded and grabbed the handles of T’van’s chair again, pushing him out of the tavern. “Wait-” T’van said, causing Wilred to pull them to a stop. “Can we go see the Domans? It’ll be quick.”

“Alright.”

It didn’t take long for Wilred to push T’van up the hill and to the market where they would find one of the Domans. T’van simply asked them to pass on the message to Hozan about the training, and after that the two Braves went to their shared room. They went mostly in silence, but a comfortable silence. It was only when they were taking off their uniforms and getting ready for bed that it was broken.

“Ugh-- Fuckin’ hells--” T’van mumbled as he tried to undo his hair. Even when most of it was braided, it could still get knotted at the ends.

“Here, let me.” Wilred said, walking up behind T’van’s chair to attempt to help. After a few seconds of tugging his hair finally came down, the braids falling down his back. “You’re mad for keeping your hair this long.”

“I like my hair long.” He huffed, reaching back to grab a few of his braids and inspect the ends. “Though I won’t deny it’s ‘bout time for me to chop some off.”

“Did your father do it for you back home?”

“If me pops had his way I’d be bald.” The mental image of T’van being bald proved to be too much for Wilred and he busted out laughing, T’van laughing too.

“Then why--why keep it long?” Wilred asked after his laughter died down.

“I got reasons.” Wilred raised an eyebrow.

“Ohhh - so I’m not the only one with some dark past? Got me interested.” He said, leaning onto the back of T’van’s chair. If he wasn’t already pushed up right against his bed, he probably would’ve rolled forward at the act. While T’van was happy that Wilred didn’t seem so gloomy at the mention of ‘dark pasts’, he couldn’t help but be annoyed.

“It ain’t dark.” T’van said, batting his friend’s arms away. “Just-- complicated.”

“Want to talk about it?” T’van almost laughed at how this seemed to mirror what he had done for Wilred. But he wasn’t having a nightmare, nor was he haunted by his past. It was just sort of….there. There, and out of the way never to be touched if T’van could help it. But...But after Wilred told him of his past - it would be only natural to share his own. Ugh.

“I’ll tell ye later, a’right?” T’van said, turning his chair and forcing Wilred to move off of it.

“Promise?”

“Pr’mise.” Wilred stared at him, with an almost disbelieving look. “What? I pr’mised didn’t I?” He laughed, grabbing his pillow and throwing it at Wilred. It hit him square in the face and nearly caused him to lose balance. “How ye supposed t’ go on a mission if yer caught off guard by a pillow?”

“You’re in for it now ‘van.”

They didn’t get a lot of sleep that night. But at least their minds were a little clearer, and their shoulders just a little less heavy.


	6. Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphinaud sees a different kind of look in T'van's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait again! This chapter took a bit to get started because of everything that's going to be going down the next few chapters, had to make sure I was setting it all up right. Not to mention real life has been a roller coaster, especially this week. I hope you guys enjoy!

_People such as you take wealth and birth for granted! You think it your_ gods-given _right to rule over others! You know naught of our plight─the injustice that we lowborn Ishgardians must endure! To the noble lords and ladies, we are not people, but resources to be consumed!_  
 _I did what I had to do to survive─stealing, killing, even whoring myself! It is no fault of mine if fools imagined me a paragon when I joined the Flames!_

Roaille’s words still swam in Alphinaud’s mind even after a short interrogation, and even after he had reported everything that had taken place to Raubahn. That combined with his worry of who was ordering the marshal to give information to the heretics was making his head spin. He pinched the bridge of his nose as a sharp pain grew in his head.

“Are you alright, sir?” He could hear his right hand say not far from him. Alphinaud does not look up.

“Just abit of a headache, Captain.”

“I do not blame you, after everything that has transpired.” There’s a pause before Ilberd is turning away from Alphinaud. They’re standing not far away from the Hall of Flames where everything seems to be a mess, yet something else to add to his growing headache. “It’s a nightmare out here.”

“Quite.” Alphinaud agreed, finally dropping his hand. “I think we should keep a presence here incase things escalate, and I’m sure Raubahn will appreciate the help.”

“Aye, I’ll go speak with the officers and see if there’s anything specific we can help with.”

“I’ll accompany you, I doubt it’s going to be much of a difference if I stand in the hall or not.” Regardless it was going to be a madhouse. Ilberd nodded and lead the way, making a path through the rushing Flames and the crowd gathering around the hall. Alphinaud stood off to the side and waited while Ilberd spoke to some officers. He knew capturing the Ivy would likely cause problems but this….he was not expecting this. It was a price they had to pay though, to weed out corruption.

“Sir, I have something that the Flames would like our help with. It might require some information gathering, the Flames don’t have much.”

“I can speak to Riol.”

“Aye, that would be best. He excels at this sort of thing.” When Alphinaud put his hand up to his ear to use his linkpearl, he sees Ilberd signaling him not to. “Mayhap it would be better for you to go back to the Rising Stones directly. I’m here there’s much to be done and much you need to update the others Scions on. I will remain here for a time while we wait for Riol’s information.”

“Right.” He knows what Ilberd is doing, his Captain was trying to get him out of here. It would only temporary. They both know they were both needed here. But, at this point in time, he was thankful for it. He needed away from this noise, this madness, and the Rising Stones was a good place as any. He also did need to update the Scions, mention how he was planning to stay here for a time, that much was true. He received papers from Ilberd and a brief explanation of the black market arms. “Pray, do keep me informed if there are any changes while I am gone, Captain.” After getting a salute as a confirmation, he returned it before teleporting back to Mor Dhona.

Instantly he felt the tension leave his body. Mor Dhona had such an effect on him. He found a smile coming back to his face as he enters the tavern and then the Rising Stones. He had a passing thought to get some food while walking through the tavern but now was hardly the time.

“Commander!” He heard a familiar voice call when he was only steps into the Rising Stones. At the end of the pathway was T’van. T’van and…..Hozan?

“Now here’s an odd duo.” Alphinaud couldn’t help but chuckle. He and T’van exchanged salutes before Hozan gave a bow of his head.

“I was hoping you would be in, do you have a moment?”

“I need to give Riol an assignment, and then I’ll be free for a few moments.” He had already sent Koko ahead to talk to Minfilla, so perhaps he could wait a few moments to hear Hozan and T’van out. “You two haven’t seen him, have you?”

“Right ‘ere, Commander.” Seemingly out of thin air, per usual almost, Riol appeared. He came up behind T’van, scaring the poor Miqo’te and causing him to roll his chair forward and almost run into Alphinaud. The Elezen is prepared and takes a step or two back, but the chair still comes pretty close to him and he has to put his hands on T’van’s shoulders to get him to stop rolling.

“Ye gave me a heart’ttck Riol!” T’van bent over some, gripping at the front of his uniform. Riol laughed and Hozan is barely holding back a chuckle of his own. Alphinaud merely grinned, then removed his hands from the Miqo’te’s shoulders.

“If that gave ye a heart attack then maybe ye should rethink yer trainin’.”

“Training?” Alphinaud questioned with a tilt of his head, gaze falling from Riol then to T’van.

“Er-- that’s what we were gonna talk to ye ‘bout but - it can wait! Ye got somethin’ to tell Riol right?” T’van laughed nervously, face flushed as he rolled his chair away to give Alphinaud his personal space back.

Alphinaud gave a puzzled look before nodding, walking over to Riol. T’van and Hozan headed to the opposite side of the Rising Stones, sitting at one of the tables to wait for him. He briefed Riol with the information he got from Ilberd as best he could. There was only so much he could remember with all the yelling going on in the background, not to mention his still throbbing headache. Thankfully the papers he obtained were given to Riol and that helped bridge any gaps.

“I should have somethin’ for ye soon.”

“Excellent. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to see what T’van and Hozan want.” Alphinaud only managed to take one step before Riol’s words pull him to a halt.

“ Before ye do, Commander,” Alphinaud looked back at him, but he seemed hesitant.

“Yes?” Alphinaud pushed, raising an eyebrow.

“Well- two things.” Alphinaud stepped back into his previous position. “One, I’d like t’ move Wilred to full-time duty.”

“Well if you’re recommending him, consider it done.”

“Good - that’s good.” Riol said with a nod, but it was more as if he was muttering to himself than anything. “ N’ two, please hear T’van out.”

“Well of course, why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s an..unusual request, from ‘im at least.” It seemed that there was more he had wanted to say, but he does not. _Why_ Alphinaud can’t help but wonder. What was T’van going to ask him? “I’ll get t’ work then, Commander.” He saluted and left Alphinaud to his thoughts for a moment.

Not much could worry Riol of all people, so Alphinaud’s thoughts are swimming for a moment with possibilities. ‘ _Well, I shouldn’t keep them waiting’_. He thinks before making his way over to the table that the two were sitting at. “Apologies for the wait, now what was it you had wanted?” Alphinaud asked with his most diplomatic smile, sitting down at the table across from Hozan and next to T’van.

T’van opened his mouth, then closed it and looked at Hozan. Looks like he’s having trouble talking. Which, isn’t too odd. T’van was always a bit nervous, Alphinaud found it endearing in a way. But this was different.

“I have offered to train T’van in the ways of the shinobi.”

Alphinaud couldn’t even attempt to hold back any kind of surprise that came across his face. “.....I beg your pardon?”

“Are you aware that T’van carries weapons on him as we speak?” Alphinaud’s gaze shoots to T’van, who looked at him nervously before down at his gloves to clearly give himself a distraction. “You would not think so, would you? He informed me that his father taught him how to use daggers, and I gave him appropriate holsters for them, but before they were in the bag on the back of his chair.”

“I hadn’t even considered if I’m honest.” He looked back toward Hozan. “So you want to train him with these daggers?”

“Yes. T’van has helped us much, everything from repairing our tools to giving us medical supplies. As he already has a basic understanding, I believe building up this skill would not take much effort at all. At the very least I can teach him ways to better defend himself from his chair if something were to happen.”

Alphinaud opened his mouth, clearly having a remark to counter that ‘something were to happen’, but then he closed his mouth. Riol’s words echo in his head and he looked over at T’van, who is still looking anywhere but at the Elezen at the moment. T’van, their resident crafter, learning how to fight? It almost seemed unnecessary. “T’van.” the Miqo’te stiffened. “I want to hear it from you, why do you wish to do this training?”

“I, th-that is--” He stumbled over his words, a hand coming up to mess with some of the braids by his face. He can practically see the gears turning in T’van’s head - it was similar to how he looked when he was crafting. He’s concentrating….he was so clearly passionate about this, just as he was with crafting. You could tell from the look in his eyes, Alphinaud thinks before T’van is finally speaking.

“My pops taught me because o’ people messin’ with me for bein’ in this chair in the past.” He watched T’van’s hands go down to grip at his chair’s armrests. “ ‘Nd I don’t think anythin’ will happen for me t’ have t’ fight, if I’m bein’ honest. But I still wanna learn, just in case.” T’van is finally looking him in the eye. “Everyone ‘ere knows how t’ fight well enough-- everyone but me. The Captain was right when he was tryin’ to push me away from joinin’, this is a military regiment. If I ain’t gonna be out in the field, I at least wanna be able to defend meself and carry me own weight.”

Alphianud starred for a moment, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he thought. He had been wrong in his earlier thought, this was different from when he was crafting. If anything, it was more _intense_. Even more **passionate,** more confident. Even if the confidence was slowly fading away the longer Alphinaud kept silent.

“Did Ilberd’s words bother you that much?”

“...Aye. But it’s not just that. I’ve been thinkin’ of what else I could do t’ contribute more.” Alphinaud wanted to argue that he does plenty, but T’van continued. “I’m not askin’ t’ be a full time soldier, I like craftin’ - I want to keep helpin’ that way. But I don’t wanna be dead weight if somethin’ were t’ happen either.”

“This training would take time away from his crafting duties.” Hozan chimed in. Alphinaud had almost forgotten he was there, he had been completely lost in T’van’s eyes. “We can prepare a schedule so that he can craft enough supplies and be here for repairs as normal as he possibly can. And it’s not like we’ll be far if you were to need him for something important.”

Alphinaud’s hand finally dropped. “Well, you two make a convincing argument. I can’t even fathom saying no.”

“Ye mean--”

Alphinaud nodded. “I don’t object to this training at all. I’m rather baffled, though. I’d never suspect you coming to me with this sort of request.” T’van’s face is flushing, and Alphinaud simply chuckled. “I have some extra time, let us figure out that schedule now.”

The rest of the conversation goes by in a blur. They decide that T’van will start off with smaller sessions and work his way up. Hozan also offered to share some alchemic lessons with T’van, like how to make the smoke bombs the shinobi liked to use - he doesn’t think he had seen anyone’s eyes truly sparkle like T’van’s had at the suggestion. Depending on how well he takes the lessons in, he’ll be gone for longer lessons by the end of the following week. Alphinaud had no doubts in T’van’s ability to do so, and told T’van to tell Ilberd or Riol if he wasn’t around that he would be going to lessons.

“I’ll prepare everything needed today, so we can start as early as tomorrow,” Hozan said, standing up from the table. “I’ll also need to find a decent area to practice.”

“Mor Dhona has nothing but space,” Alphinaud said, standing up from the table as T’van also pulled himself away from it. “Then tomorrow it is. T’van you can simply finish any requests you have and be done for the day if you’d like to rest beforehand.”

T’van shook his head. “I’ll stick ‘round just in case somethin’ else needs t’ be done, ’n maybe I’ll craft some extra potions ‘n ethers just in case.”

“Alright then, I think we’re done here.”

Hozan nodded. “I must be getting back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow, T’van.” With that said, Hozan left. Alphinaud took ahold of the handles of T’van’s chair and pushed him back to the other side of the Rising Stones without much thought.

“You never cease to amaze me, T’van.”

“Huh?”

Alphinaud let go if the other’s chair, letting him get settled behind his desk. “You do all this work and yet you want to contribute more? I’m in awe of your commitment to the Crystal Braves.”

“Well, I wouldn’t I be? We’re supposed t’ be protectin’ the realm, who wouldn’t want t’ give that their all?” T’van is beaming, and Alphinaud can’t help but smile. “ ‘N, uh, While we’re on the topic ‘n all, yer doin’ a good job at being a Commander, sir.”

“Thank you T’van, I appreciate it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to brief--”

“Ye need t’ eat, you mean.” T’van scolded playfully, pointing one of his tools at the Elezen.

“....How had you known I hadn’t eaten-”

“Cause ye were busy, and ye forget to eat with yer busy. I’d cook for ye but I wanna get all this done.”

“No need, you spoil us with your cooking enough.” Alphinaud put a hand on his hip. “I suppose that’s what people will miss the most when you’re doing this training, you’re not going to be able to cook as much.”

“.....Should I prepare somethin’?” T’van mumbled to himself, looking down at his tools as if he had just realized that would be something that happened. Alphinaud held back a laugh.

“Don’t worry so much about us, T’van. Get the work you wish to done and you can cook for everyone tonight, is that acceptable?”

“I s’ppose.” T’van grinned. “Will ye be here for supper this time ‘round?”

“I will do my best to make it.” He gave a small bow before leaving T’van to his work - and fulfilling his promise to get some food. He had wanted to promise he’d be there later tonight, but he knows he couldn’t. He needed to get back to Ul’dah. Just the thought makes his head hurt again (he hadn’t realized his headache had even faded until it started to return). He thought over what needed to be done there for the rest of his meal, and just as he’s finishing Riol returned.

“That was quick.” Or had it been he had just lost track of time? He wasn’t sure how long he was talking with T’van and Hozan.

“I have reliable sources is all.”

He still needed to speak to Minfilia, and told Riol to wait in the Rising Stones as he did so. He snuck a glance at T’van on his way into the Solar, Riol going over to him when he had entered - and T’van seemed excited as he spoke to Riol - perhaps telling him about the training. Alphinaud smiled and entered the Solar.

After reassuring Minfilia, and getting Koko’s and Sarana’s help with the issue at hand - he headed out of the Solar first to speak with Riol. He had to call the older man back over from where he still was at T’van’s desk. However Wilred was over there now too, and Riol was no doubt telling him about his promotion to full-time duty considering the look on the highlander’s face.

“S’rry ‘bout that Commander,” Riol said as he came back over.

“Think nothing of it. Now, your report?” Alphinaud asked, and he is reciting it as Koko and Sarana come over to them. Riol repeats it with an added, “The time won’t be until the next nightman’s but I’m sure the Captain is already tryin’ to brief everyone ‘bout it.”

“A day to prepare is more than enough time, do you think you could speak with Captain Ilberd, Koko?”

The black mage nod and they leave to do so, but not without some grumbling from the lancer. He thought he heard Koko mention seeing her ‘brothers’ on the way out since they had extra time, but that’s not right. Koko doesn’t have any family in Eorzea. At least none that she spoke of. How little does he really know about her, he couldn’t help but wonder.

“Ye’ll be headin’ to Ul’dah now, sir?”

“In a bit, I want to make sure everything is fine here before I depart. Is there anything I should know about?”

Riol looked like he had wanted to say more, but doesn’t. “Not that I can think of, sir. Though if yer goin’ to Ul’dah, let Wilred accompany ye. I’ve told him of what’s goin’ on too and he can join the 4th unit, they’re already in Ul’dah to help the Captain.” With that, he looked back and motioned over to Wilred who was still with T’van. The crafter is handing something over to Wilred before they notice Riol calling for him. Wilred waves goodbye to T’van before coming to join them.

“Is it time to go?”

“Ye’ll be goin’ with the Commander, lad. Help him with anythin’ he needs beforehand and then report to Lieutenant Alianne ‘nd the 4th for further assignments.” Wilred saluted to him and after saluting to Alphinaud, the blond left the teenagers alone.

“Well then, it shouldn’t take me long to be prepared for the journey, make sure you are prepared as well.” Wilred insisted he was fine, and followed Alphinaud around in his rounds to check on the higher officers still in Mor Dhona. After ensuring that nothing else was needed of them, he got ready to leave.

“Leavin’ already?” T’van’s voice cut through their (somewhat awkward, admittedly) silence, and the two teens looked at the third.

“Yes, I’m afraid so. Apologies for not being able to make it to supper tonight, T’van.”

He shakes his head. “It’s a’right. I’ll be here t’ cook for ye two when ye get back.”

“If you’re not too busy training! Keep me updated on that. When I get back I want to spar.” Wilred said with a grin, giving a firm point to the Miqo’te.

“I don’t think I’ll be that good!” T’van said waving his hands. “ ‘N I’m doin’ it for self-defense lest ye forget!”

“Nonsense, if you give it half the effort you put into your craft, you’ll be a master in no time,” Alphinaud said, and Wilred gave a few nods in agreement.

T’van’s face flushed, a common sight today apparently. “Er-- Thank ye, Commander. Ye two be safe out there.”

“Of course. Come Wilred, let us get going.” Wilred gave a wave to T’van, as did Alphinaud before they were porting to Ul’dah.

As they walked out from the plaza things seemed just as hectic as when he left. He rubs at his forehead, he can already feel a headache coming back. “Come with me, Wilred. I’m sure we can find out where the Lieutenant is.”

“Before that, sir. Can I make a quick stop?” He looked back at Wilred to see him pulling out a bundle of paper. Oh, wasn’t that what T’van had given him before?

“T’van gave you those, correct? What are they?” Alphinaud asked curiously.

“Oh, just a few letters to give to the Alchemist’s guild. Apparently, he’s never received any formal training with them but he exchanges letters with a few members of the guild.”

“I can take those for you. I can see you’re busy to get into the thick of things, not to mention Riol did say to report right away, didn’t he?”

“That’s….”

“Let’s find the Lieutenant and then I’ll take those letters for you, deal?”

“Yes sir.”

He’s gotten all too used to having someone around his age call him ‘sir’, he realized.

They find Alianne in little to no time at all, and Alphinaud does as promised and takes the letters from Wilred to head to the Alchemist’s guild next. He can’t help but look through the letters as he is walking. He doesn’t dare open them, he wouldn’t think of invaded T’van’s privacy like that. But the names are written plainly on the outside and he can’t help but read them. He isn’t overly familiar with the Alchemist’s guild, but he knows the guildmaster by name and the thickest set of papers are addressed to him. What was T’van exchanging with him?

He walks into the guild and finds his way to the receptionist. “Good day, I have a couple of letters for people here.” He puts them on the desk, and the receptionist looks them over.

“Oh! These are from T’van, aren’t they?”

“That’s correct, could you tell just from the packaging?”

“I’ve gotten used to seeing his handwriting. The boy has been writing into here for years now.”

“Years?”

“That’s right. Well, to be more accurate it was his father who wrote in at first, and then his letters came after. I had been wondering what had happened to him, we haven’t gotten a single letter in a while so I was worried.”

“T’van joined the ranks of the Crystal Braves. Suffice to say it keeps him very busy.”

“The Crystal Braves, you say?! Why, that’s excellent! They’re lucky to have a crafter like him. His findings are always a sight to see.”

“Is that what all these letters are? About his work?”

“Most of them, yes. He has done a couple experiments directly for the guildmaster as well. He’s such a smart boy, I only wish I could shake his hand and tell him that.”

Alphinaud blinked, crossing his arms. “So T’van has never been here? Never?” He gathered he was self taught from Wilred but -- he hadn’t come to Ul’dah at all?

The receptionist shakes his head. “No, unfortunately. Something about his legs, if I remember correctly. He’s never been out of Limsa Lominsa. Though, if he joined the Crystal Braves, maybe that’s changed. I wonder if one of those crazy experiments worked to get his legs amoving again.”

Alphinaud opened his mouth to refute that, but then closed it. Experiments? Was T’van trying to get his legs working through alchemy? “Well, thank you for your time.” Alphinaud said after that thought, giving a small bow. “Please distribute these letters to those they are for, and if anyone needs to write a reply you can send it to the Rising Stones in Mor Dhona.”

“Not a problem, thank you for delivering these to us.”

Alphinaud left and his thoughts were swarming about what he had learned for the rest of the day. It goes by in a blur. He sees Captain Ilberd and Koko both at some point, possibly planning for the next day, he can’t quite remember. Soon his head is hitting a pillow, and he’s allowing himself to sleep.

\----------

The next day flies by just as quickly. His thoughts aren’t as occupied with T’van and the Alchemist guild, but it still lingers in the back of his mind as he’s giving orders and offering aid to the flames. His primary focus was the black market deal going down that night, and when it finally became nightfall he waited impatiently for results.

“Commander!” He looks away from the frantic flame soldier in front of him to see Yuyuhase approaching. A salute is given before he continues. “We have retrieved the black market arms from the Warrior of Light and we have cataloged everything.”

“Excellent,” Alphinaud said, quickly sending the flame on his way to approach the lalafell for the list. He looks it over with a bit of a frown. “Is this all?”

“Yes, sir. I believe Riol was lead to believe it was more than it actually was. Ul’dah’s merchants are always claiming to have more what they do.”

That made sense, right? So why did it feel so….off? Riol hadn’t made a mistake like that before. But could he really afford to be held up on this when there was so much to do still? “I trust your judgment.” He said, handing the list back. “Pray give this to one of the Flame’s officers and they’ll see the arms moved into a secure location.”

“Yes sir!” Another salute, this one Alphinaud returned, and then the lalafell was gone.  
  
“Right...what to do next.” Had he gotten to the point that he could give himself a second to breath?

Apparently not, because his linkpearl was going off.

He puts his hand to his ear. “Yes?” It’s Minfilia. Had Moenbryda made progress on-- “What? Koko went where?” _Did that woman never stop?_ She just helped the braves and now she was going to see the Keeper of the Lake? “Sir Aymeric’s request? But…” He shook his head. “No, I understand. I’ll be there right---” away, he wanted to say. But the words die in his throat as another Flame Officer approached him.

“I’ll be there as soon as I am able.” He almost grumbled out before pulling his hand away and addressing the matter at hand. It took much longer than he would have liked, and by the time he had rushed back to the Rising Stones, Koko had already departed,

“Are you able to stay a while, Alphinaud?” Minfilia asked. “Moenbryda would like to talk to us all as well as soon as Koko returns.”

“I am able, of course.” Anything to get him out of the madness of Ul’dah for a bell or two.

“Excellent. Pray, tell me of what is happening in Ul’dah while we wait.”

And so he does. The explanation seemed to last for ages, and it probably didn’t help that there were constant interruptions such as the other scions joining them and Lucia who he had to stop one conversation to start another. By the time all talking was finished, Koko was walking in. She seemed...different somehow, but now was hardly the time to address it as she retold her story of what had happened. Then they were seeing Lucia off and he knows it’s the early hours of the morning by then. He knows yet now he must contact his officers to hear reports, and he tells Koko as such. Her and Sarana, who had been silent surprisingly all this time, headed back into the Solar.

He’s about done with all of his communications when T’van is rolling his chair into the Rising Stones, clanks could be heard as it came down the small flight of stairs. “Ah, T’van.” Alphinaud turns to him, and while it takes a moment for T’van to get straight he answers his greeting with a salute. “What are you doing here so early?”

“I just thought I’d make sure that the stores are filled ‘fore I go t’ my training with Hozan.”

“Oh right, your first day was yesterday correct? How was it? Think you’ll be able to manage?”

“It was good. Hozan said I got good form with the stabbers already. It’s more figurin’ out what I can and can’t do from me chair and workin’ from there.”

“Your father taught you well then.”

“That he did. Anyways I won’t keep ye, if yer back here already then somethin’ must be happenin’, aye?”

“Very perspective of you.” Alphinaud smiled, one which T’van returned before he started to roll away, but he stops and turned his chair back for a moment.

“By the way Commander, which unit did Wilred end up with?”

“The fourth, if I’m not mistaken. I’m fairly certain that they’re at the Ceruleum Processing Plant by now. I was actually just about to check in with Lieutenant Alianne. Want me to ask how he’s doing for you? You seem worried.”

“That obvious?” T’van said with a laugh. “If ye could, I’d appreciate it. It was his first mission n’ all, I’m afraid he’ll get a little carried away.”

“He was practically jumping for joy when we arrived in Ul’dah.” Alphinaud hummed. “Very well, I’ll let you know about his status.” There’s a thought of him to ask about the Alchemist guild and its letters. But how exactly would he bring that up? How long would that conversation take? They both had plans to keep. “I’ll meet with you anon to let you know. Don’t be late for your training.”

“Right, sir.” He saluted once more before going over to his desk.

It takes only seconds more for him to finish up his communications, though getting word about movement at Castrum Meridianum halted any kind of reminder to talk to T’van before going back into the Solar. At the very least, he knew Wilred was okay as he was the one Alphinaud spoke to for a moment. He quickly finished up his communications and went on in. He can always speak with T’van later.

He hated asking Koko to help with anything more so soon, he hated relying on her so much in general. But it was a weight off of his shoulders when she agreed to go help with the situation. He could return to Ul’dah in peace.

Alphinaud glances to the side of the room before he leaves. Of course, T’van wouldn’t be back so soon. He shook his head. He could always contact T’van over linkpearl later if he needed. With that thought in mind, he left for Ul’dah once again.

He doesn’t hear about the success of the mission in Northern Thanalan until evening that day. And he almost misses the report because he had taken a moment to himself on a bench and had almost fallen asleep! How embarrassing.

“You may go rest, Commander.”

“Nonsense, I’m fine.”

“With all due respect sir, you’re able to give better orders when you’ve had a fair amount of rest.” Alphinaud narrowed his eyes, but the older man simply laughed. “I will come to get you in a few bells, sound reasonable?”

Alphinaud sighed and stood up. “Or sooner should something happen.” His captain nodded, giving a salute which he returned before he was making his way to the Quicksand and the Inn inside.

This would be the second time he flopped down on one of the beds of this place, and have his thoughts wander back to T’van now that he was away from the madness. How many failed experiments, He thought, how many times had T’van turned to alchemy for his legs? When had he given up? Had he given up? Is that why he’s so passionate about it?

A hand came up to his ear, and he waited for his linkpearl to connect.

_“Aye?”_

A smile came onto his face without realizing it. “It is me, T’van.”

 _“Oh! Commander!”_ There’s a pause, and then what seemed like a small ‘ **boom** ’ _"Oh shite-”_

Alphinaud practically scrambled to sit up. “Are you alright?”

 _“Aye-”_ T’van coughed. _“Sorry ‘bout that, was just tryin’ to replicate some of these Doman recipes. They’re a bit more - er - complicated than I’m used t’ doin’ and I’m tryin’ to see what I can replace with what considerin’ I can’t have all the same materials.”_

Alphinaud leaned up against the headboard with a sigh. “Shouldn’t you be resting? I’m sure Hozan doesn’t go easy on you for that training.”

_“That he doesn’t. But I’m a’right, this was the last one I was gonna try before gettin’ some shut eye.”_

“Why do I feel like that is a lie?”

There’s a pause before a laugh. _“Ye can read me like a book Commander.”_

Alphinaud knows he only called to inform T’van about Wilred, and maybe ask about those letters, but he finds himself so….comfortable, just speaking with T’van. It was nice, after such a long few days. He hadn’t realized how the small conversations with the crafter could lighten his mood. “I wanted to speak to you about Wilred - before you ask, he’s doing fine.” Alphinaud said before T’van could interrupt him. “He was apart of two major operations the last few days, I believe he’ll settle in fine.”

 _“_ ‘m _glad.”_ He can hear T’van sighing in what he guessed was relief. _“I uh, also asked_ Wilred _t’ do somethin’ for me in Ul’dah do you know if--”_

“You mean the letters for the Alchemist guild?” Good, now he didn’t have to debate how to bring it up. “I took them to the guild for Wilerd, he was all too excited to get to work.”

_“You-You did sir?”_

“Yes. Though I’m rather surprised. I had figured you were mostly a self-taught alchemist but you’ve never been to the Guild?”

 _“I haven’t been t’ Ul’dah at all.”_ So that Receptionist was right? What else could be right from the information he had gotten then? _“Mor Dhona is_ me _first time out of Limsa.”_

“Well, I’ll have to see if we can get you here sometime.”

_“R-Really?”_

“Why of course.” Alphinaud smiled. “If it would help you improve your trade then I don’t see why not. We can speak of it more when I return.”

 _“Of course sir!”_ There was a pause that Alphinaud debates bringing up the experiments, but before he can T’van spoke again. _“Oh, some o’ the Scions just came rushing in.”_

“Has something happened?”

_“I can check for ye.”_

“Please do.” There go his plans to sleep, possibly. He waited in silence for a few moments, throwing his legs back over the bed so he could be ready to walk out if needed. He can faintly hear T’van’s chair clanking against something, did he run into a wall?

_“S-Sir…..”_

“Is everything alright?”

 _“Mi--Miss Moenbryda she’s-”_ Alphinaud holds his breath.

_“She’s dead.”_


	7. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T'van has a feeling of Deja Vu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone! I'm sorry for the lack of updates but the end of last year was really wild, and not in the best of ways. But I'm happy to say it's getting better! And I'm so happy about being able to return to playing ffxiv recently and getting back to this fic. That being said I apologize for any kind of typos in this chapter, I was maybe a bit too excited and rushed through it, but it equaled a chapter that I'm really happy about and that included way more of the MSQ than I thought I was going to get to.

The Rising stones was colder than it had ever been. In atmosphere only, but T’van couldn’t help but feel a chill run down his spine as he remembered the events that happened merely hours ago. He couldn’t believe he didn’t hear anything going on from within the Solar, he was barely a few feet away at his desk! And yet he couldn’t - didn’t- do anything to help. Now Moenbryda was gone, and he had barely gotten to know her, but he missed her. He missed her so much.

The miqo’te lifts his goggles with a heavy sigh, looking off towards the main room. Yda was in the worst shape of all of them. He doesn’t think he’s actually seen her move in the last bell, or few even. Not that he could blame her, it had only been a day since the event occured. Still….he has tried talking to her numerous times, but she either does not hear his voice, or simply doesn’t care to reply. Just like with the events within the Solar, she was so close yet he couldn’t do anything to help. T’van looks at the fabric in his hands, embroidered with Moenbryda’s name. He had hoped maybe he could put it on some kind of grave with some flowers, though he wasn’t sure if there would be a grave for her at all. There was no body to bury, after all. That’s what most did with their dead, right? He only knew of sending them out to sea…

“T’van?” Startled, the teenager looks up to see Riol standing over his desk. Instinctively, he pulls the fabric close to his chest - though winces as he pokes himself with the needle he had been using.“Don’t ye worry lad, tis only me.” It takes a moment, but he calms himself and puts his small project down. “How ye holdin’ up?”

“Better than most, I s’ppose.” A glance is given towards Yda, who is now speaking with the Warrior of Light. Well, at least someone got through to her. There’s a brief pause where T’van begins to zone out again as he looked a the fabric before Riol is speaking again.

“Loss is hard t’ deal with, no matter how many times it happens.” T’van looks up at Riol. How many people had he lost? He was in the company of Heroes before wasn’t he? He knew of the tales - but how many people had died in the process of those stories? “Have ye talked with Wilred lately? He’d know how t’ help ye more than anyone.”

T’van shakes his head and gives a sigh. “I haven’t been able t’ get through to him. The Commander told me he was doin’ fine only a lightman ago, so after things settled down ‘ere I tried t’ call him but--”

“No answer?”

“Aye.” He finally puts the fabric, thread, and needle off to the side. “I figure he’s just busy. I’ll try again later.”

“Let me know if ye get through. Hate t’ admit it, but I’ve been worried about the lad.”

“Ye and me both.” With an encouraging pat to the shoulder, Riol leaves him be. It was only when he does that he noticed Yda and Koko both gone - he might have to ask someone else about he whole grave situation. He tucks his little project somewhere behind his desk so it doesn’t get ruined by his work and goes to pull out more of his equipment - only to find he’s running low on materials. “Well, it has been awhile since I went t’ the market…”

“Need t’ run an errand?” T’van looks behind him to see Aergmhus giving him one of his lopsided grins.

“Aergmhus!” He replied back, giving a smile. He felt like he hadn’t smiled in ages, but the Roegadyn had that effect on most everyone. “Aye, I’m runnin’ abit short on some things.”

“I’ll come with ye to help carry any of it back. We don’t need another accident now do we?”

“I almost run into the crystal ONE time and ye lot just can’t let it go.” Aergmhus laughs and waits for T’van to pull himself out from behind his desk before they’re leaving together.

The great thing about going to the market with Aegmhus is, not only does he offer to carry everything but he also carries T’van, up the hill at least. That’s always the hardest part, getting up there. Down was easy (down was almost too easy). The shopping had done some to help distract him, Aergmhus was good at trying to distract him and lift the mood if only a little. Which was probably the reason he offered to help T’van in the first place, but he couldn’t complain too much.

“T’van!” He looks up from a stall to see Hozan approaching him. “Out for a supply run?”

“Aye.” T’van nodded. “I was hoping to get a few things done then I’ll head up for trainin’ and--” Hozan holds up a hand.

“I have heard what has happened.” T’van’s shoulders slump. The shopping had almost completely distracted him - almost. “You may take a few days to mourn if you would like. If you wish to talk about it, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks Hozan.” The older man leaned down to give him a one-armed hug before going back to his own work.

“Ye gettin’ friendly with the Domans?” The Roegadyn asked, and T’van stiffened. He had almost forgotten not everyone knew about the training he had decided to take on.

“A-Aye….I’ll explain it on the way back.” It wasn’t like it was a secret, really. He just didn’t want to advertise it - not until he was decent with the damned stabbers, maybe. Aergmhus thought it was a good idea, at least. That’s all he could really hope for. He doesn’t know how he’d react when he would finally run into someone who didn’t think he should be doing it. He was still thinking up a rebuttal for that because he knows people, and he knows there’s always going to be that one person---

“Private T’van.” The miqo’te freezes at his rank being pulled. He had almost made it to safety, they were almost at his desk, Aergmhus’s arms full of supplies waiting to be dropped off. It takes a moment for him to realize that Aergmhus has stopped with him. “A word, if you would.” T’van turns his chair to see Yuyuhase beckoning him over. Aergmhus mentions dropping the supplies off at his desk and getting back to work, and T’van swallows heavily and gives him a nod. Yuyuhase never really wanted to speak with T’van more than necessary - so what made it necessary now?

“Aye, sir?” T’van asks as he wheeled himself to the other side of the room, hidden by the folding screen that helped divide the spaces. Now that he was over here, he noticed two others with Yuyuhase. He knew them by face only, sometimes coming by his desk for more potions or weapon repairs.

“I was just wondering if you had heard from your friend Wilred as of late.” T’van blinked, completely brought off guard by the question. Riol he could understand, but Yuyuhase asking about Wilred?

“N-No, sir. I haven’t actually spoken t’ him since he left t’ be with the 4th.”

“Ha!” The lalafell forced a laugh. “Forgive me if I have a hard time believing that, you two have practically been combined at the hip since you joined.” T’van did his best to keep a straight face. Though it starts to falter when one of the Braves at the lalafell’s right side, walks over to his own. The Elezen towards over him. He was used to that, most were taller than him. But this was….different. “You haven’t attempted to contact him at all?”

“I have, but I can’t seem t’ connect to him.” He trains his eyes on Yuyuhase, attempting to not notice, or get distracted by, the presence next to him. “The Commander was able to speak with him yesterday, or so he told me.”

“You and the Commander are rather...close, aren’t you?”

“I…” He wasn’t sure how to respond, his neutral look breaking into one of confusion. “Is that all you wanted of me, sir? Has something happened to Wilred?” He pretends not to know the hyur that moved to his opposite side.

“Your friend is under suspicion of stealing the black market arms from Ul’dah’s vaults.”

Shock was added to his expression as he processed the information. Wilred? Stealing? It was so foreign to hear those two things in the same sentence. “W-Wilred would never-!”

“His past speaks otherwise.” T’van’s mouth slams shut. How did Yuyuhase know about that? Wilred had told him, and he hadn’t told a soul. It’s not something Wilred would go advertising either. So where… “We are simply looking out for the Braves and the good of all Eorzea.” It sounded so awful coming out of his mouth. T’van gripped at the armrests of his chair. “If he is innocent as you say, then he needs to come forth and explain himself for suddenly going missing. If you have any information, it would be wise to tell me now.”

He couldn’t pretend not to notice the two standing next to him anymore. His golden eyes glance from one, to another, than back at Yuyuhase. His silence, from shock or not, seemed to not be a ‘wise’ answer. With a motion of the lalafell’s hand, T’van was out of his chair - held up by the front of his uniform by the Hyur. It wasn’t a position he hadn’t found himself in before, but it did bring a quiet gasp from his lips, and a hand reached to grab the Hyur’s wrist as a reflex. The older did nothing but hold him just above the ground and his chair, just above where he was comfortable most.

“You haven’t heard anything?”

How could no one be seeing this? Were the Scions to busy mourning? Were the other Braves just turning a blind eye? T’van’s eyes narrowed. He was scared, that much he could admit to himself. But not to this man, not to them. Though,  it was probably obvious with how his voice shook when he spoke. “N-No.”

“Very well.” Another hand motion and T’van was dropped back into his seat, rather roughly at that. He winces, adjusting his position when the two who were looming over him backed off and went back to the lalafell’s side. “If you do hear something, do let me know. We don’t want this to get out of hand. If he has taken the arms we only want to settle it peacefully.”

“A-Aye….” T’van stared for a moment at that smug look on the Lalafell’s face. He shouldn’t be allowed to look that smug.

“And if we are being transparent, you are under suspicion as well.” T’van opened his mouth to protest, but Yuyuhase raised his hand and continued to speak. “Only because of your close friendship with Wilred. But if you chose to help us bring him in, then all suspicion will be cleared. If he is innocent as you say then you have nothing to fear as well, we only want to see him safely returned. A soldier going missing is alarming to all ranks.” Yuyuhase gave him a pointed look. “You’re dismissed, Private T’van.”

With a half-hearted salute, T’van moved back towards his desk. He was playing into Yuyuhase’s hands by doing this, but a hand went up to his ear as he tried to connect to Wilred’s linkpearl once more.

Nothing.

T’van ran a hand down his face, then held it over his mouth as he tried to process what just happened. He could handle being bullied, sure. That much he had been expecting and dealing with on occasion since he arrived. But that was a blatant threat. A commanding officer threatened him. It was either he helped bring Wilred in or-- or what? He would go missing to? Yuyuhase would sick those goons on him?

What in the seven hells was going on?

 _“‘Veiniyu!! Put me down!” He cried, gripping at the older_ miqo’te _wrist. But her grip around his shirt only tightened as she pushed him up against the wooden walls._

_“Maybe when ye stop bein’ such a baby!” She laughed, effortlessly holding him up. He’s practically light as a feather to her, even if she was only a child._

Were those black market arms really that important? Wilred had only been out of contact what, a day? Yes, missing weapons were cause for concern but why did they suddenly jump to Wilred being the suspect? Why?

_“S-Stop or I’ll tell Pa!” He tried again, scratching at her arms. She only responded with slamming him against the wood._

_“Ooohhhh, a tattle tail are ye? Ye won’t last long if ye sell out yer mates.” She pulls out the knife that was strapped to her hip and stabs it into the wood beside his head. He flinches, attempting to move away only to be held in place by both her and her knife - it had stabbed through the braid he had it in. “Listen_ ere _, ‘van -- Ye are gonna start bein’ more useful ‘round here,” The knife sliced through his hair, and she dropped him. She only grinned as she watched him fall to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut, “or **else**.”_

Did they all suspect him too? Did they think he was an accomplice? What would they do to him if they decided he was guilty?

 _“P-Pa!_ Veiniyu _\- she-she—” He cried, holding onto the long locks that weren’t cute as he gripped onto his father’s pant leg._

 _“Gave ye a haircut by the looks o’ it.” The father kneeled down, pulling out a knife of his own. He froze, starting to pull himself back from the older man as he continued to cry. “What ye sniveling’ bout now, boy?” The father tsked, grabbing the long locks of his_ sons _hair and cutting it to be even with the other side._

_“…..Ye know **pirates** don’t cry.”_

“T’van?”

Had T’van the capability, this would have made him jump to his feet. Instead, he just lurched forward and had almost fallen out of his chair. Almost. The force just ended up having him roll forward a bit, much like when Riol normally had snuck up behind him and scared him. Doing so in this small space however, causes him to run into his desk. All the equipment he had left out gave a rattle, but he’s thankfully able to reach out and stop any of it from falling over.

“Oh! My apologies, T’van.” The crafter looks over to see Alphinaud standing there. “Are you alright?”

“A-Aye I’m fine. Ye gave me a start there Commander.” What was he to tell the Commander about what just happened? …..Nothing. He decided he wouldn’t tell Alphinaud anything. But he needs to say something - what Yuyuhase did wasn’t right or normal by any means. “C-Can I help ye with somethin’?”

“I was hoping you’d have a moment to spare some of your stores to our envoy from Ishgard. She can’t carry much on her own but anything you’re willing to offer-”

“Anythin’ yer willin’ to offer, ye mean. What I make is for ye to tell where t’ go. She can take anythin’ she likes.”

“Awfully considerate of you.” T’van peers around Alphinaud to see a tall Hyur woman. That must be who Alphinaud was talking about.  ….. Gods, she saw that entire display of him running into his desk, didn’t she? What a right mess he was. He pulled his goggles over his eyes as if it would help cover up his flushed face.

“Well since aide might be questionable, this is the least I can do at the moment.” Alphinaud moved around to the desk to the front of it, the woman following behind. “Might I introduce T’van, the Crystal Braves resident crafter.”

“A pleasure.” T’van said, getting himself straightened behind his station. “What can I get for ye?”

“Any healing supplies you can spare would be helpful. We have a lot of wounded and the more we can get back on their feet, the better.”

“I got plenty o’ those, just a moment.” He turns his chair to start gathering bottles of different types of potions and elixirs he has made. He can hear the two in front of his station talking and sees Alphinaud leaving out of the corner of his eye. He knew he already told himself he wouldn’t tell Alphinaud but - now he was even more worried when the Commander left the Stones. Shaking his head, he gets back to gathering a bag for the envoy - who he learned was named Lucia.

“ ‘ere ye go, Miss Lucia.” He puts a large bag on the table with some difficulty. “This is ‘bout all I can spare.”

“This is...more than I expected.”

“Well I just went shoppin’ for more supplies so I can replace ‘em before the nightman’s.” Which is probably what he’ll end up doing. Working through the night, again. But maybe it’ll give him time to think, time to figure out what to do - time to try to get ahold of Wilred.

He can see a faint smile on the woman’s face as she speaks. “You’re too kind. This will help many of my fellows.”

“I hope the Commander is able t’ get ye the help ye need. I’ll be routin’ for ye all from ‘ere.” With a stiff nod, Lucia grabs the bag with no difficulty whatsoever and starts to head out the door. He waves at her back, watching her until she disappeared behind the folding screens. He sighed once she was out of sight, looking down at his station. “Get yerself t’gether.” He grumbles and gets out his equipment to start replacing what he had just taken out of the stores.

The only person he can think about telling this to is Riol, but what would he say? Would he try to confront Yuyuhase? He didn’t want to stir up any more trouble than he apparently seemed to be in. Every third successful synthesis he would try to reach Wilred - still no response. After the tenth time, he stopped attempting to contact him. Wilred would answer if he was able, he knows he would. Before he hadn’t directly contacted his friend because he didn’t want to distract him from his work or call in the middle of some kind of skirmish. But if he had - he knows Wilred would have answered.

He lifts his goggles finally, looking at his surroundings. He’s practically covered his station in different bottles of potions and elixirs. He grumbles to himself and starts to organize them into the correct boxes. By the time he’s done, he looks out to see it’s already night time. Only when he notices that does he start to feel the day wear down on him. Today had just been...too much. He needs to get back to his room, get some sleep, figure out what to do. Just as he was rolling out from behind his desk, Riol was walking towards his station.

“Thought I’d still find ye here--” The older said with a small laugh, though it died the second he got closer and saw the look on T’van’s face. “Is somethin’ the matter?”

“Ain’t good at hiding it, am I?”

“Not at all.”

“Can ye...help me t’ my room?”

Riol tilted his head, as if silently asking if there was more to say, but T’van couldn’t say. He knew Yuyuhase had probably left by now - but what about those other two with him? Who else willingly followed orders like that from the lalafell. With a small sigh, Riol moves behind him to start pushing him out of the Rising Stones. T’van catches him looking behind them once or twice on their way to the building where T’van’s and Wilred’s room was.

T’van felt like he could finally breathe when they got into his room, exhaling a heavy breath. He wasted no time reaching up to pull his bun apart, letting his braids fall down his back. “Now what was so important ye couldn’t tell me back at the Stones?” Riol asks with his arms crossed. T’van motions him to sit down on one of the beds, and Riol does so. T’van takes a moment to gather himself before explaining what had happened with Yuyuhase.

“What?” He doesn’t think he has ever heard so much...venom in Riol’s voice before. But it seems to change on the flip of a coin because he’s giving a concerned look and putting a hand on T’van’s shoulder. “Ye alright? He didn’t do anythin’ else, did he?”

T’van shook his head. “N-No. Just that.” He said, waving a hand. “I’m used t’ it but-”

“Used t’ it? Used t’ bein’ threatened?” Well, it sounds bad coming from him. T’van frowns.

T’van tries not to think back to the memories that were pulled to the surface after the conversation with Yuyuhase. He hadn’t thought about that in a long, long time. Could he trust Riol with his past? Well, of course, he could. But he...he wasn’t ready. Even if he had told Wilred he would tell him about his ‘complicated’ past. He still...wasn’t ready. “Limsa is a rough place, ye know that more than anyone. But that….was different.” Riol nodded, looking down at the floor as he clasps his hands together. He hated lying to Riol. Maybe after this mess, maybe after they found Wilred, he would tell both of them, together.

It wasn’t even necessary to understand the whole situation. It gave context, but it wasn’t necessary. So he tries to push past the guilt of not saying anything, and listen to what Riol had to say next.

“Let me know the second they try somethin’ again,” Riol said after a moment. He still isn’t looking at T’van, and that seems to worry the young crafter more than anything.

“Is there naught else we can do?”

“Sadly.” Riol lifted his head with a sigh. “He outranks ye considerably, and we can’t trust those other two there with ye cause Yuyuhase was commandin’ them. Unless someone else saw- it’d be difficult bringin’ it up and it being taken seriously.”

“But ye—ye believe me right?” T’van gripped at his armrests, looking away from Riol. He was right, no one else seemed to see the encounter. Granted, it probably was only a grand total of a few seconds. But still….Riol would believe him right? Riol didn’t think he was making it up--

T’van feels a hand on his shoulder again and looks back towards Riol.

“O’ course I do.” T’van’s shoulders slumped slightly at the reassurance. “I’ll keep me eye on Yuyuhase. Ye just worry about takin’ care of yerself.”

“And….And ‘bout Wilred?”

“I’ll look into that aswell. Someone’s got t’ have heard somethin’.” If anyone could find out if someone’s heard from Wilred, it was Riol. That much T’van was sure of. So he gives a small nod, and Riol pulls his hand away from T’van’s shoulder and stands up off of the bed. “Thank ye for tellin’ me ‘bout all this T’van. It couldn’t have been easy.”

T’van gives a small smile and sees Riol out of the room. After getting some advice on locking the door and bracing it - ‘just in case’ Riol said, T’van is realizing he has heard that phrase alot lately - he follows through on doing so before getting ready for bed. Once in bed he finds himself staring at his ceiling. He runs his hands over his long braids as he thinks about those memories again. Why did he have to think of that? Of her? Of him? It leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

_“It’s just hair! It’ll grow back.” His sister yelled over his sobs. “Gods yer stupid. ‘N stop cryin’ already!”_

He smacks himself on the forehead, rubbing the heel of his palm into it afterward. Harder than necessary. Stop thinking about her, stop thinking about it, stop thinking about the past-- He repeats this to himself until he eventually falls asleep. Even then he could not escape, his dreams full of memories. At the very least they were only that, memories. Not nightmares, though they did wake him with a start. He takes a couple of deep breathes, wiping the sweat off of his brow before deciding to start the day a little early - there was no way he was going to get back to sleep.

When he’s finally heading to the Rising Stones, light is just barely peeking into the province. He uses it as a chance to get settled in and avoid having to cross paths with Yuyuhase or anyone else. He is held up by the tavern owner, but only to make sure that he ate. He must be losing his mind if he’s forgetting to eat, especially after all the nagging he does to others on the same thing. He bids farewell after a quick breakfast and rolls himself into the rising stone, and behind his station’s desk before anyone could appear to stop him.

The day goes without incident, thankfully. Riol comes up to talk to him every few bells, making sure he’s alright, that nothing has happened, and to give an update on things happening. The Stones is nearly empty because of the threat on Ishgard. The Braves are getting ready to possibly assist, and the Scions are out with missions to hopefully aide aswell. Alphinaud was currently locked in a long meeting with the alliance leaders to convince them to send aid.

“Everythin’s fallin’ apart at the seams.” He couldn’t help but grumble, glancing towards the fabric he had been embroidering on. Moenbryda’s name practically stares back at him.

“Aye, but that’s why we need ye in top shape.” T’van’s attention turns back to Riol. “Think ye can handle it? ‘M sure that some Braves are gonna be storming in here any second now for repairs and supplies.”

He knew what Riol was trying to imply. He needed to make sure he could deal with Yuyuhase if he were to come up to his table, deal with him in general until proof could be gathered. He gives a nod to Riol. He might not like Yuyuhase but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to do his job, offer potions to the lalafell if he were to come by. Surely Yuyuhase has his….reasons. T’van desperately would like to know what those are, though. “Aye. I’ll be ready.” He pauses before speaking once more. “Can ye let Hozan know that things are gettin’ kinda busy here? So I won’t be goin’ to trainin’.”

“That I can.” Just as Riol had predicted, a couple of braves came through the doors to the stones and over to T’van’s station. Riol bid farewell and went to deliver the miqo’te’s message, while T’van pulled his goggles over his eyes to get to work. He worked as fast as he could, a repair here, a completely new weapon there, some potions and ethers somewhere else. It was a giant wave of work, come and gone before he blink. He released a sigh of relief as the last person walked away from his desk. For a moment, he could breathe and take stock of what all was taken. He could work on replacing it, keeping himself busy. That should keep the thoughts at bay.

Riol running up to his desk a few bells later as he’s working on those replacements worried him, though. “Th-The attack has begun.”

T’van felt as if he had stopped breathing for a moment. This would probably be the biggest operation the Braves have been apart of yet. T’van turns his chair to grab some extra bottles hidden under his desk before putting them ontop for Riol to see. “Take these.”

“What are they?”

“Some o’ those Doman recipes. These specifically are small explosives.”

“Ye were just keepin’ those _under yer desk_?!”

“They have t’ be thrown against somethin’ with alot of force t’ work.” T’van said with a wave of his hand. “Get goin! Yer needed on the front lines, yeah?”

“Aye...” Riol eyed the bottles for a moment before swiping them up and putting them on his belt. “Stay ‘ere until ye hear that the battle is over. Ye might have people running back for more supplies.”

T’van gave a salute, and while it was rushed - Riol returned it before running out. T’van slumped back in his wheelchair. Riol had come to tell him so he wouldn’t worry, probably. He could have just used the link pearl - but he appreciated the effort to come in.

Now...he waited. His eyes go to Moenbryda’s name and he picks up the fabric, needle, and thread again. At least he could keep his hands busy until the inevitable rush. He couldn’t help but notice that his hands shook, though. Why? Because of the battle happening at this very moment? Because of Yuyuhase? Because of his memories rushing back? Because he was worried about Wilred? About Alphinaud? About--

“T’van?” T’van looked up, seeing Tataru standing near his station.

“M-Miss Tataru-” He knows she doesn’t like him calling her that, but this time she barely seems to bat an eye. “What can I do ye for?”

“I was hoping….I could keep you company.” T’van tilted his head. Why would she want to do that? She’s normally so busy. They worked on opposite ends of the room so they didn’t get to talk much regardless. The only time he really got to talk to her was when she made him the Braves uniform he was currently wearing. He looked up to her; She was a hard worker, extremely organized and knowledgeable in many different areas. Though, he had never told her any of that. “With everyone out at that battle right now I….”

“I think that’s a good idea.” T’van looked up to see F'lhaminn walking over. Another person he barely had the chance to speak to. They had cooked together on one occasion - he had a new appreciation for Uldan meals because of her. But besides that, not a word was shared between them spare an occasional hello.

These two must be just as worried, if not more than he was. He puts down the fabric he had been holding, F’lhaminn’s eyes dart to it, and she gave a soft smile but said nothing. He’s glad she didn’t.

“Make yerselves at home.” He said, waving to the chair that Wilred would normally sit in that was still in front of his station. “I only got one chair, though.”

“I’ll go grab another. If you have the time T’van, I have an apron that needs repairing.” F’lhaminn said with a smile before going off to get a stool. Tartaru sat in Wilred’s chair, beaming over at T’van.

He was able to keep his hands busy after all. With the two women there it was easy to distract himself, make his hands steady, make his mind calm. He knew he shouldn’t get too comfortable, because of that inevitable rush. But when it finally happens, he knows he’ll at least be abel to deal with it.


	8. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphinaud is having a bad day, but he's not the only one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a warning, this is where I start bending the MSQ to my will. This is also the longest chapter to date, thanks to hatae for beta reading this for me cause I was freaking out about it. The next chapter might be awhile because I'll be revisiting all the cutscenes involving 2.55. Anyways, hope you all enjoy this!

He knows he bid Koko and Sarana off to Revenant’s Toll to rest, but he wishes he had done the same for himself. For all the Braves, truly. They had all worked admirably, and the losses could have been far worse if not for their efforts. Every single one of the living deserved rest, but they were granted none. Steel Vigil was a mess of injured soldiers and the dead - from their side and from the dravanian’s. Well bodied soldiers attempted to keep up, rushing orders back and forth. He was meant to leave for Ul’dah and give orders from there but….he can’t stop staring at the sight. At least, not until given a gentle nudge. Startled, he looked up and over to see his right hand towering over him.

“You alright there, Commander?” Ilberd asked.

Alphinaud straightened up. “Quite.” Ilberd raised an eyebrow as if not easily convinced. “Don’t look at me so. Despite the losses, the day is won. That’s all I could have really hoped for out of today.”

“Aye.” Ilberd said as he finally averted his gaze from the Elezen and looked around. Though it’s only a moment before his gaze returned. “How do you plan to address the family’s of those we lost?” 

Alphinaud crossed his arms. He had figured he would have to do something like that eventually. Being the ‘Guardians of Eorzea’ meant blood would be shed whether they liked it or not. 

“Hadn’t thought about it?” Ilberd interrupted his thoughts and the teen found himself giving a huff before he replied. 

“I have. I just never put anything in stone. I shall think over it more as we gain a list of all those lost. I can’t do anything without names first.”

“Aye.” Ilberd agreed again. “Let us return to Ul’dah then. These men have their orders and they seem to be well enough to execute them.” With one last look over the landscape, Alphinaud gave a nod. They had been here for longer than he had wanted regardless. He learned the hard way that it’s not easy to just walk away from the battlefield as a Commander - no wonder Aymeric had to quickly make his way back after thanking Koko and himself. He had a lot to learn, it seemed. But with the decision finally made to leave, he turned and teleported to Ul’dah before he can convince himself otherwise. 

It’s only when they walked out of the Plaza that he even realized it was night time. The battle took place during the middle of the day if he remembered right. The battle felt like it had gone on for years but the aftermath passed in a blink of an eye. Shaking his head, he made his way over to the Hall of Flames and in the small corner of it he started to call home. The Flames seemed to welcome them back with open arms, the word of their victory had already reached the city. No doubt the General would be here soon to also give his own congratulations. 

Alphinaud didn’t want to talk to him, but he knew how to save face when it mattered. Despite not offering any sort of actual aide, at least in Raubahn’s case there was a good cause - this city was still a mess after the capture of the Ivy. Still, something, anything, would have been nice aside from sellswords. Almost all of them had perished in the battle as well, and they were added to yet another list of casualties alongside the one he was going to be getting for the Braves. His stomach is already in knots and he hadn’t seen the list yet.

He brushed the thought off almost too easily. There was work to be done and he needed to be at his best. He could think about it later.

Only bells later he and Ilberd almost had twice as much work on their plate than they did before they left, they dealt with calls from the Crystal Braves still in the Coerthas and from the Immortal Flames in front of them. Alphinaud doesn’t remember the last time his throat hurt so much just from talking, from giving out orders, or maybe it was the yelling on the battle that had done it? He’s not sure anymore. 

He rubbed at his throat absentmindedly as Ilberd handled greeting Raubahn when he finally made an appearance. Thankfully there wasn’t much for Alphinaud to say that the General didn’t already know, and he’s almost thankful for his sore throat because if not he might have let a snide comment or two slip. Saving face or not, he definitely had words to say--

“A feast?” The term caught Alphinaud’s interest and he tuned back into the conversation. “You sure that’s wise?”

“You lot deserve it after everything that has happened,” Raubahn said with a shake of his head. “Her Grace insisted on it.”

Alphinaud bit his tongue. A feast? For a victory, they had no part in? The knots are back in his stomach but now he felt like his anger is boiling him from the inside out as well. But it only took a moment for him to calm himself, looking to the side as he cleared his throat. He didn’t need to blow up at Raubahn like he had when meeting with the Alliance. Truthfully, he was still angry about that whole situation, angry and embarrassed. He wouldn’t cause another scene here.

The Alliance leaders had their reasons for this feast, and he could see them clearly. They wanted to talk to Ishgard as soon as possible. Even he wanted to have more than a few thankful words from Lord Aymeric. So, he’ll let this one slide. For now.

“It won’t be for another few days. I would offer you both to take the time to rest until then, but I doubt either of you would take it.”

“You know me too well old friend.” Ilberd grinned. “Though, I’m thinking our Commander is looking a little worse for wear.”

“You’re not much better from where I’m standing, Captain.” Alphinaud managed to mutter, and the two older men laughed.

“I guess both of you know me too well.” 

“At least take a few bells to sleep, both of you.” The Flame General said, putting a hand on his hip. “I am not so hopeless that I cannot carry the weight of my own men until your return.” 

“Aye, that sounds like a good idea.” Alphinaud opened his mouth to argue otherwise but closed it a moment later. He couldn’t argue. He was tired, extremely so. So after a moment more of conversation, catching Raubahn up to speed, the two of them left for the Quicksand, and took separate rooms in the Inn with barely a word shared between them. They were both exhausted, Alphinaud couldn’t help but think. Ilberd had done twice as much fighting as he had, if not more. 

Still, the teenager groaned as he hit the soft bed with an audible thud. It felt like this might as well been his actual room with how often he had slept here. He stared up at the ceiling, thinking of the last time he had been here. It was when Moenbryda had passed when he was on a call with T’van…..

_ “Aye?” _

Alphinaud froze. He had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t realized he had reached over to his ear and called T’van through his linkpearl. Seven hells, what was he doing?!

“Aye? Hello?” 

He had two options, hang up without saying anything or actually say something--

“ _ Wilred? _ ” Alphinaud raised an eyebrow. “ _ Wilred, ye there? _ ” Why did T’van sound so...panicked?

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“ _ Oh! Commander I- _ ” T’van coughed awkwardly, and Alphinaud couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Relax, I simply….wanted to check on you. I’m sure today must have just as busy for you as it was for the rest of us.” He quickly lied, but in the same breath, he wasn’t. Now that he had heard T’van’s voice, he couldn’t help but be concerned. 

“ _ Hardly, sir _ .” T’van huffed. “ _ Are ye a’right? _ ” 

“Now Now, I believe I asked first,” Alphinaud said, as he pushed himself up to sit against the headboard. Resting didn’t really mean sleeping, did it? Exhausted as he was, sleep was probably going to escape him. Again. 

“It’s quiet for now.” T’van finally said, sounding a bit calmer than he had before. “Just got done with ‘nother batch o’ orders.”

“I hope I’m not interrupting your work at all.”

_ “Not at all.” _ T’van quickly said.  _ “Just gettin’ some things ready since Miss Tataru is kickin’ me out.” _

Alphinaud raised an eyebrow. “Is she now?”

“ _ Aye. She doesn’t want me t’ overwork myself ‘n not sleep or somethin’ _ .” Alphinaud can’t help but laugh. Him and T’van were practically both in the same situation.  _ “I’m at least gonna humor her, get somethin’ t’ eat. Maybe try t’ get ahold of Riol-” _

“And Wilred?” Alphinaud asked, but he was only met with silence. So something  **was** wrong. “You just seemed rather panicked when you thought he answered. Did you two have a fight?”

_ “N-Nothin’ like that..” _ T’van stuttered.  _ “I just haven’t spoken t’ him since he joined the 4th, is all.” _

“Well, I bet he’s been busy.” The 4th wasn’t assigned to the Steel Vigil, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have a lot on their plate. If anything the Braves that didn’t get involved with the battle were given twice the workload to make up for those leaving. “I could try to get ahold of him for you-”

“ _ No!” _ Alphinaud winced at how loud T’van seemed to shout. He heard a muttered apology afterward, but his ear is still ringing as T’van spoke again.  _ “It’s a'right! I’m sure he’s doin’ fine. I’m just a big ol’ worrywart.” _

“That you are. But my offer still--” 

Shuffling of footsteps right outside the door caught Alphinaud’s attention. He muttered ‘a moment’ to T’van before getting up from his bed. Was it Ilberd maybe checking up on him, or something? He wouldn’t put it past the Captain. He opened his door, but no one was there. He tilted his head before taking a look out in the hall. No one was there. He must be paranoid after the battle.

“Forgive me T’van, I thought someone was at the door.” He said as he closed the door and went back to his bed. “I’ll let you get some rest.”

_ “Make sure t’ get some yerself, sir.” _

“If I must,” He chuckled, laying back onto the bed. Somehow T’van telling him to get rest makes him realize once again how tired he really was. “Goodnight, T’van.”

_ “Night, sir.” _

Alphinaud is smiling when he finally cut the connection and let the call end. He hadn’t meant to do it, but talking to T’van did make him feel more at ease. It wasn’t long after that he found himself drifting to sleep. 

He started to see the value of sleep as soon as he woke up a few bells later to banging on his door. He wanted nothing more than to turn over and to go right back into the abyss of slumber. After he weighed the options, he does finally get up and answer the door, and he greeted Ilberd with a yawn. After having made fun of him for his state of dress and messy hair, Ilberd let him get presentable and they both headed back to the Hall of Flames. This was their routine for the next day as well. Work for most of the day, ‘rest’ for a while - his resting had been a mix of sleeping and talking to T’van - and then it repeated.

After not having gotten a proper rest after such a big battle, all the work was starting to take its toll. It took him a bit longer to think over suggestions to give, orders to execute, and it was harder to listen to explanations of what dramatic situation was happening. The only thing he seemed to be more attentive for was the mention of the Braves that they had lost. He was triple checking the list any time one name gets added, he was sure he had them all memorized by now. 

It’s a shorter list than he expected, and he took some solace in that fact. But it was still a few too many names for his liking. Running a hand through his hair he wondered how he is going to deal with addressing the families of those who have passed. It was brought up briefly after the battle, but he still wasn’t sure. Perhaps Minfilia would have an idea. A number of Scions have been lost since the establishment of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. Plus a trip to the Rising Stones would take him away from….all off this. He gazed out to the Hall of Flames. It’s quiet now, but for how long before another wave of inquiries and unrest rose up again.

“Captain.” He called to Ilberd, and after a moment of finishing up a conversation, Ilberd turned to him with a salute. “Do you believe you can handle things here for a time? I am going to return to the Rising Stones.”

“For anything in particular, sir?”

“I wish to update the Antecedent, as well as get her opinion on a couple of matters. It shouldn’t take me terribly long.”

“By all means, sir. I can handle things here.” With a salute exchanged, Alphinaud headed to the Rising Stones in a flash.

He could breathe a little easier once he’s gotten back to Revenant's Toll. Entering the tavern was practically akin to a breath of fresh air, despite the smell being anything but. Just as he’s about to push open the doors to the Rising Stones, they’re all but completely blasted open. By someone practically his own height.

“Er, Koko? Are you alright?” The Warrior of light barely acknowledges him. Only an icy cold glare was sent his way before she stomped past him. She might have well cast one of those Ice spells at him, for he was frozen in place for a moment and felt a chill down his spine. Had he ever seen her look that….murderous? That angry? He couldn’t be sure. Sarana didn’t look much better, the dragoon was hot on her heels and stomped through just like the mage had.  Shaking his head, he finally let himself into the Stones and pulls the doors closed behind him after making sure they still worked.

Tataru didn’t seem to be in, odd but perhaps with all the chaos, she was off doing some extra work. He also spotted Riol, and he made a mental note to speak with him before he returned to Ul’dah before he continued his trip towards the Solar. He knocked before entering, and Minfillia is standing behind her desk. Her back is to the door, so it takes him clearing his throat for her to realize someone has entered the room. 

“Oh! Alphinaud. Thank gods you’ve come.” She walked around her desk, and her tone made his legs pick up their pace as he made his way down to her.

“Has something happened? Koko nearly took the doors off their hinges.”

“....She did what?” Minfillia blinked before she shook her head. Koko was still a mystery to them both, it seemed. “Regardless, it’s about one of your Braves.” The Elezen stiffened, and she continued. “It’s Wilred….he was found dead by one of our scholars and Koko just a moment ago. Hoary Boulder and Coulenet are currently in the progress of bringing in his remains.”

Any sort of relief he felt by coming to the Rising Stones were crushed, and his shoulders visibly slumped. He had a list on his person of all the Braves he had lost recently. But Wilred? Wilred, of all people? He wasn’t even involved in the battle! So why? “Do you have any ideas as to what could have happened?” It took all his strength to keep his voice even.

“Koko mentioned that Hoary had said that his wounds were made with a blade and that he didn’t seem to have a chance to fight back. I figured you would like to run an investigation of some kind, as he wasn’t involved with the battle to defend Ishgard - was he?”

“No, no he was very much not involved.” Now he understood where Koko’s anger had come from. His hands curled into fists as he weighed his options. He had come here for advice on how to address those families who had lost someone, and now one more was added to the list. But with Wilred, it wasn’t just his family who he had to tell. “Who all knows of this?”

“Only those who found him, you and I.”

“So no one has told T’van.”

They both stood in silence for a moment. How were they even going to tell him?

“I was debating that when you arrived.”

“I will do so. I was actually hoping to get your help in addressing all the families of those who were lost at the battle of Steel Vigil.” He attempted to laugh, but it was dry as he pulled out the list of names. “Truthfully I’ve never had to do so before.”

“I’d be more than willing to help you.” She smiled as she always did, even with a tinge of sadness it did help raise Alphinaud’s spirits a margin. She took the list from his hands, and he easily let go of it. He had far since memorized the names, the piece of parchment was useless in that regard. “Perhaps speak with T’van first. I believe he’ll be in any moment now.”

“...Right.” Alphinaud crossed his arms. He had to start somewhere. How should he….even go about this? Telling someone in person is much harder than writing a letter, which is what he wanted at least a hint of guidance on. After he stared at his feet for a moment, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at Minfilla as she spoke.

“There’s no easy way to explain it. Simply tell him the truth, and what you intend to do about it.”

“Thank you, Antecedent.” With a nod, she takes her hand off of his shoulder and allowed him to walk out of the room. He’s just going to have to do as she said. How do you tell someone that their friend had died? Especially after T’van had told him that he and Wilred hadn’t spoken recently? How long had he been dead? What could have happened? What-

“Commander?” Alphinaud looks up with a start, seeing Riol approaching him. Oh, right, he was going to talk to Riol about..something. “I take it ye heard the news.”

“News?”

“ ‘Bout Wilred.”

“I had thought--”

“Koko told me. She was right upset about it.” Riol said with a shake of his head. “I was surprised, but can’t say I’m much better ‘bout it.” Alphinaud looked away for a moment, towards T’van’s desk. “He ain’t in yet.”

“I need to tell him.”

“Want me t’ be there too?” Riol asked, “Sadly, I’m used t’ this sort o’ thing.”

“....If you don’t mind.” 

“Not at all. He might have gone t’ see the Domans ‘fore comin’ in. We should try t’ catch him ‘fore he gets in here.” Right. He wasn’t sure how T’van was going to react and he’s sure T’van wouldn’t want to have a breakdown in front of everyone. With a nod, the two of them leave the Rising Stones and go to look for the Miqo’te. Just as Riol had said, he had taken a visit to Hozan, and was eating lunch with the Domans. Was it that time already?

“Oh! Commander!” T’van rushed to wipe his face of crumbs and roll himself away from the table he was currently sharing with the Doman children. One of who was clinging to the back of T’van’s chair. If he wasn’t currently weighed down by what he had to say, Alphinaud would have laughed. The Miqo’te managed to get the child off of his chair so he could properly turn to face them and gave a salute. Neither he or Riol had the energy to return it, which apparently tipped off Hozan that something was very, very wrong. Or at least, that’s what it seemed like when the man stepped forward.

“Can we help you? If we’ve kept T’van too long then I apologize.”

“No, no you’re fine. I’m sorry to have eaten into the training time we planned the last few days.” Alphinaud turned to the man with a forced smile. “I promise to give T’van time to make it up soon, but for now Riol and I need to speak with him.”

“Say no more,” Hozan said, and with a quick bow began to herd the children out of the room. They all whined for a moment before saying their goodbyes to T’van and leaving the room. Alphinaud felt bad about practically forcing them all out of the small space they were given in this outpost, but he’s also glad Hozan seemed to understand. He’ll have to speak with the man later.

“So..uh….” T’van pulled at his gloves. “What did ye need t’ talk ‘bout?”

“It’s…’bout Wilred, T’van.” Riol started for him, and thank gods he did. Alphinaud seemed to have lost his voice the second the question was asked. T’van’s face dropping made it only harder to find the nerve to speak up. He swallowed thickly and walks over to T’van, kneeling down next to his chair. T’van is staring at him now, with wide eyes. He can’t help but notice the bags under the crafter’s eyes. How much sleep has he gotten lately? Have their late night conversations kept him up? Was he working too much?

He reminds himself that now isn’t the time for questions. He puts his hand on top of T’van’s forearm before he speaks again. “Wilred was found dead.” He can feel T’van stiffen. Gold eyes meet his blue ones, and he can only watch as the tears started to form. T’van is the first to break eye contact, looking into his lap as he lets the tears fall.

“H-How-” T’van choked, and Alphinaud gripped his arm tighter. “Why--”

“We’re not sure on either of those yet. But I promise you that we’re going to get answers.” His hand moves from T’van’s arm to his hand and he squeezed tight enough to get T’van to lift his head. “He was an excellent Brave and a dear friend. We  **will** find out what happened to him.” T’van stuttered for a moment before sobs overtake him again. He leaned forward, grabbing ahold of Alphinaud and pulling him closer for probably the most awkward hug he’s ever had. But only because of the angle of which it had to be done. He found that he doesn’t care, however, and quickly returned it. Riol walks over and puts a hand on T’van’s shoulder as well, attempting to help calm the crafter down.

He’s not sure how long they had been comforting him, each other, but it was his linkpearl that caused them all to pause for a moment. Riol mumbled something about answering it, turning his attention on T’van afterward. Alphinaud nodded and put his hand to his ear. “Yes?”

“Ah, Commander.” Oh, it’s just Ilberd. “Hope I’m not interrupting.”  _ You are _ , Alphinaud couldn’t help but think, “I was just wondering what was keeping you.”

“Forgive me, Captain, something came up,” Alphinaud said, giving a glance towards Riol and T’van, the older attempting to give some kind of pep talk. T’van now looked….distant.  Like he was looking straight through Riol instead of at him. It was troubling. “Do you think you’ll be fine on your own for a while longer?”

“Aye, I think I’ll manage. I’ll call again if anything extreme happens.”

“Thank you. Until then.” Alphinaud said quickly, ending the call and turning back to the- group? When had Hozan entered the room? Well, he was offering tissues and comfort to T’van, so he couldn’t complain. “T’van, you should stay here. Perhaps spend time catching up on your training-”

“I want- I want to see him.” The miqo’te said quietly after a moment. Alphinaud looked at the two older men before back at the crafter.

“Hoary Boulder and Coultenet have possibly returned by now. But...are you sure?” They all saw T’van nod and looked at each other. Hozan and Riol both nodded towards him. They have more experience in this than he does, so he nodded back and put a hand on T’van’s shoulder. “Alright.” He conceded. “But afterward you have my full permission to take time off to mourn.” T’van said nothing, and that was probably the most concerning thing he could have done. Regardless, Alphinaud and Riol take T’van back to the Rising Stones, after Hozan offered to take T’van in and have him mourn out of sight of everyone else afterward. T’van still gave no reply. He hardly made a sound, really. Aside from the initial shock, tears, and questions, not much had come out of T’van. 

When his grandfather had passed away, he and his sister were a mess. He remembered it well, how Alisaie screamed, cried, and cursed. T’van’s current reaction was more like his own had been in that moment. He had cried as well, but he was quiet, more trying to calm down his sister than anything else. He had been proud of his grandfather, too proud to be sad that he was gone - but be proud and happy about what he did to save them all. 

But Wilred had practically been murdered, from what had been explained. There was no happiness or pride to be found in that. 

The walk back had been silent. But for the life of him, he could not think of any more to say, and he hated himself for it. As they approached the tavern that leads to the Rising Stones, he spotted Hoary Boulder off to the side. He left T’van and Riol at the aetheryte before going over to the Roegadyn, as he approached he noticed Coultenet kneeling on the ground next to…

“Oh, Commander Leveilleur.” Hoary Boulder quickly greeted as he noticed the younger there. Alphinaud watched as Coultenet quickly put a sheet over Wilred’s face.

“Thank you for bringing him back.” He finally said after a moment, turning towards the Roegadyn. “Where was it that you found him?”

“Urth's Fount. Koko and the Scholar she was watching after found her first.” Coultenet said as he stood up. “There were no Crystal Brave operations in that area, were there?”

“Not at all.”

“I assumed as much.” The older elezen mumbled as he crossed his arms. Alphinaud raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing. They were all puzzled on how Wilred came to be in that location, Alphinaud most of all. 

“Pray, go tell the Antecedent of your arrival and the status of your mission. T’van would like a moment with Wilred.” Alphinaud said, turning and motioning Riol to bring T’van over.

“Of course.” The elezen said and gave a small bow. He had started to walk but stopped when he noticed Hoary not moving. Giving a frown he pulled on his friend’s arm. “Let the boy mourn in peace.” With a small grunt in reply, the Roegadyn followed his friend into the Tavern. 

Riol and T’van approached, and Alphinaud stepped to the side to give them room.T’van just stared at Wilred’s covered body for a long moment. But after that moment he started to move- and almost completely fell out of his chair. Riol and he were quick to move to grab him before he could hit the ground, and before he could fall on top of his friend’s remains. “Whoa there!” Riol said, “What ye tryin’ t’ do?”

“I’m t’ tall from me chair.” The miqo’te grumbled. Sparing a glance to Riol and waving his hand, Riol let go of him and Alphinaud helped settle T’van down on the ground. He had to hold onto him so he didn’t fall backward, but he didn’t mind. If anything, he hoped it was reassuring to T’van. 

T’van reached out and pulled the sheet down so he could see Wilred’s face. He gasped, and Alphinaud’s grip tightened. He thought having seen the glance of the corpse before would have prepared him for when T’van wanted to see him, but it hadn’t. He definitely died a painful death. Gods, he was just a teenager, a child practically--

_ The three of them were just children practically.  _

T’van’s shoulders started to shake again as he leans forward. Alphinaud’s grip loosens, allowing T’van to move forward as he wanted, and the miqo’te drapped himself over Wilred’s chest. There are the rest of the tears Alphinaud had been expecting earlier. He keeps a hand on T’van’s back as a comforting measure, but he can’t seem to look at the scene as T’van quietly called Wilred’s name. He had never taken the time to know Wilred, the time he went with Wilred to Ul’dah, and when Wilred helped him when T’van first came to join the Braves were the only instances he had ever spoken with Wilred at length. He regretted not doing so more. 

As a Commander, he knew the death of his soldiers were going to happen. He had been accepting that fact since Steel Vigil. This was different. He had died not in the glory of battle but murdered by some scum. He was T’van’s friend. Perhaps he even considered Wilred a friend. But that sentiment was lost now. He just needed to make sure whoever did this was caught and brought to justice.

“I did-didn’t g-get t’ tell ye any-anythin’.” Alphinaud glanced over at T’van, who is still hunched over and gripping onto the sheet that covered Wilred’s body. What didn’t he get to say? After all that time they spent together, how many regrets could T’van have had? “Damn it. Why did the Navigator lead someone t’ me that might understand - just t’ take ‘em away.” He’s not sure if he’s meant to hear this, a glance towards Riol told him that the other didn’t hear him at all. Though Riol could have pretended not to hear, and if that was the case Alphinaud was going to do the same. Obviously, this wasn’t meant for him to hear. Maybe when the time to mourn was passed, he’d question T’van about it. 

For now, he could see T’van struggling to get up on his own, and he reached over to help him sit up. Keeping a hold on him with one arm, his opposite hand reached over and pulled the sheet back over Wilred’s face. “Are you alright?” A stupid question to ask, and he is anything but stupid. But it’s the only thing he could think of to say. He can make speeches and speak at length with politicians with no problem. This? This was different. He put his hand on T’van’s arm, and slowly T’van reached up to put his opposite hand over it. He sniffed, probably trying to hold back more tears or at least pull himself together.

“No, but I can’t cry forever.” He mumbled, squeezing Alphinaud’s hand once before he dropped his own into his lap. “What’s gonna...happen t’ ‘im.”

“We’ll contact his family and have him delivered to them,” Alphinaud said, helping T’van back into his chair with Riol’s aide. “If I remember correctly, Koko said he came from Little Ala Mhigo. I assume his parents are also there.”

“Aye.” T’van mumbled. He can’t seem to speak higher than that right now, and the thought makes Alphinaud frown. “Can I….accompany ‘im?” 

“I do not see why not,” Alphinaud said, looking towards Riol. “Would you like to as well?”

“If ye will allow it, sir.” Riol said with no hesitation.

“Of course.” Alphinaud nodded. “I will need to make some preparations, but I’ll let you know when it is all settled and when you will be leaving - if you wish to stay here for a time. Though I would make Hozan known of your plan to leave with him, he’s likely expecting T’van to come back.”

“Aye, thank ye, sir.” 

Alphinaud gave a bow before walking away from the two. After getting out of sight of them was when his shoulders finally slumped, and he ran a hand down his face. What a mess this was. His feet guide him towards Tataru’s desk - but she’s not there. Not at first at least. It doesn’t take long for Tatataru to make her appearance, coming out of the side room where she had worked on the Crystal Braves uniforms once upon a time. “Oh! Alphinaud! Is there something I can help you wi--” Tataru paused, staring up at him as he turned to face her. “Are you alright?” She suddenly asked.

“Why would you think otherwise?”

“You...You’re crying, Alphinaud.”

As she said it, the realization suddenly hit him. So _ that’s  _ why his vision was kind of blurry. He blinked a few times, letting the last few tears fall, then quickly reached up to wipe them all away on his sleeve. Where did that come from? Tataru patiently waited for him to pull himself together.

“Forgive me Tataru, I-”

“You don’t need to explain.” She reached over and pat his arm before getting up onto her desk chair. “Now, what can I help you with?”

“Yes, well,” Now he’s frazzled, and it took a moment for him to remember what exactly he had come in here for. “Do you know where we decided to keep the personal records of the Braves? I will also need to arrange a chocobo carriage to go to Little Ala Mhigo.”

“Right over here, and I can make that arrangement for you.”

Alphinaud sighed, “Thank you Tataru, please do so.” He could feel Tataru’s eyes on him as he went over to the ledger she directed him to. No doubt she was worried about him because of his sudden….outburst? Whatever it had been. Perhaps it all just finally caught up to him. Maybe he did need that feast after all, to have a moment to simply talk without worrying about everything in Uldah, everything about the empire, and the primals - just have a moment to say that they won. 

They won, but it left a bitter taste in his mouth. They won - so why does it feel like they’ve made no progress at all? He shakes his head. That will be fixed when Ishgard joins the Alliance once more, he convinced himself as he turned the pages. 

After finally finding Wilred’s information, he copied it down and put the book back. He’ll have to go through this book later and edit it, remove pages of those who have been lost. But he couldn’t do that now, not when he’s clearly still affected. “That carriage will be ready in a bell’s time.”

“Thank you again, Tataru.”

“It’s not a problem.” She said with a small smile, though he can still feel her concerning gaze on him. Turning back to face her, he can definitely see it. “Are you going to be alright?” She questioned him.

“Quite. Forgive me for earlier, I don’t know what came over me.” She stared at him for a moment, before she was simply nodding. With a small bow, he left the receptionist in peace. With the carriage situation out of the way, he just needed to give notice to the family. He hadn’t had time to ask Minfillia how to go about that, but after his outburst with Tataru he doesn’t think he should be in front of anyone right now. He’ll figure it out on his own. He always managed to do that, after all.

Staring down at the parchment, he knew he doesn’t have much time to write this. He needed to get back to Ul’dah. He needed to get back to his post, to give out orders and to assist those he can. But it’s almost as if...he’s stuck. Frowning, he tried to push through it to articulate what he thinks will be a professional way to handle this. After a handful of attempts, he finally wrote one he is at least satisfied with. He folded it up and walked out of the Rising Stones and back to where Riol and T’van were. He isn’t sure how long that had taken him, but the carriage is there now and Hoary Boulder is helping to put Wilred’s body inside a casket then inside the carriage. T’van looked distant, but also on the verge of crying again at the same time. Alphinaud frowned, he didn’t like seeing T’van like that. 

“Riol, could you see that this gets to Wilred’s family?” He asked as he approached the hyur, handing over the letter and the copy of Wilred’s records. Alphinaud glanced over as Hoary was putting Wilred’s sword and shield into the carriage aswell. 

“ ‘Course sir.”  Riol replied, earning Alphinaud’s attention back. “Yer not comin’, are ye?” 

“Sadly I cannot.” Alphinaud shook his head. His chest hurt at the thought, but why? He knew he couldn’t possibly attend every funeral, accompany everybody home to their loved ones. He knew that and yet- “Duty calls, as they say.”

“Aye….” Riol turned his head to look at T’van, Alphinaud did the same and saw him gripping at his armrests.

He was mad, wasn’t he? That is the only conclusion he can come to, and it only made Alphinaud feel worse. Perhaps one day T’van would understand. Shaking his head, Alphinaud looked back up towards Riol. “I will get people on the investigation right away, and I’d like you to join as soon as you return.”

“I had every intention to, sir.”

“Good. Now if you will excuse me.” He gave a bow and was about to be off. After a step or two though, he stops. He turned back to T’van, who doesn’t even spare him a glance. A small sigh escaped him and he walked over and knelt down next to T’van’s chair. “T’van?”

“Hm?” He still doesn’t even look at him.

“Have a safe trip,” Alphinaud said with a strained smile. T’van finally looked over at him, and he couldn’t help but notice how red the other’s eyes were from all the crying he had done. T’van gives the best smile he can muster, even if it was barely one at all.

“Ye too, sir.” 

With a nod, Alphinaud stood up and properly leaves this time. Only sparing one look behind him as he’s doing so, watching Hoary and Riol help T’van into the carriage before he’s teleporting away.

Not even a second back into the Hall of Flames and he wished he hadn’t returned. He surprised himself with how quickly he manages to get back into the swing of things, but that does not mean he wanted to be here. Whenever he had a free moment to breathe his mind went to thinking about T’van, Wilred, and this whole bloody mess. But mostly T’van - he can’t help but wonder if the miqo’te is still mad at him if he’s doing alright, if-

“Commander.” Alphinaud didn’t give a reply. “Commander?”

“Hm? Oh, what is it Captain?”

“You seem a little distracted. I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now, sir.” Ilberd said with a shake of his head. 

“Oh, forgive me. Today is an...off day.” He huffed, running a hand through his bangs. First with Tataru, and now this? He really was a mess. 

“I can tell,” Ilberd said, crossing his arms. Alphinaud refuses to look at him, but he can feel the older’s gaze on the back of his head. “Why don’t you take the rest of the night off, sir?”

“Nonsense. If anything I should be telling you that.”

“The feast is tomorrow,”  Ilberd said, which finally got Alphinaud to turn and look at him. He had completely forgotten about that - not about the feast itself but more so that it was  **tomorrow.** “You’ll need to be in your best shape to deal with all the politics, and help the Alliance pull Ishgard in.”

“Well, that’s-”

“Not to mention all the letters you must need to write for the deceased and their families.”

“I’m currently working on-”

“And you look like you don’t want to be here.” 

Alphinaud had stopped trying to talk back, sighing softly as he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was certainly not as effective with his thoughts clouded like this, and he really did not want to be here. At Steel Vigil they had won, but working like this was a losing battle in itself. 

“Perhaps you are right. I am going to need to be at my best tomorrow.” He finally conceded, and Ilberd nodded. “Very well, you drive a hard bargain. But perhaps I will go rest.”

“Another night at the Hourglass, then?”

“There is somewhere I must be first,” Alphinaud said before he could even catch himself. He was really going to go, wasn’t he? Gods, you think he would be past acting on impulse by now. “Before I leave, did you by chance look over that investigation report?”

“The one about that Wilred lad?” Ilberd tilted his head, and Alphinaud did his best not to show a physical reaction. “I haven’t had the chance to look at it in detail yet, only glance at it. Tragic, though.” Alphinaud felt as if he should be bothered by the lack of emotion in that statement, but he brushed it off as Ilberd being more hardened than he was.

“Please put your most trusted men on it until Riol returns to take it over.” Ilberd nodded. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Captain. Pray, let me know if anything happens and I shall rush back.”

Ilberd saluted him, Alphinaud smiled weakly and returned the salute before rushing off. 

He hadn’t been to Little Ala Mhigo before, but surely the porters were still running. They could get him close. At least make a day’s trip less than that. It was already sundown, and the carriage was bound to be there by now, if not was about to arrive. Quickly, he made his way over to the Chocobo porter.

Soon he’s on the back of a Chocobo that is sprinting across Thanalan’s desert. He hasn’t ridden on the back of a Chocobo in what feels like years. It’s a little jarring. He’s really doing this, isn’t he? Well, he might as well do it right. He pulled a handoff of the reins to reach up to his ear.

_ “Aye?” _

“Ah Riol, just who I wanted to speak to.”

_ “Is everything alright, sir?”  _

“Everything is fine. Tell me, have you reached Little Ala Mhigo yet?” 

_ “Yes, not long ago actually. They’re...preparing a funeral service right now.” _

“How long will that take?” 

_“I can’t say for certain-"_  There’s a pause before Riol speaks again. _“Wait, sir, yer not-”_

“On my way? Of course, I am.”

He can hear Riol laugh on the other end. _“O’ course ye are. I’ll let 'em know.”_

“Thank you.”

_“By the way sir, ye should know - “_ Riol started just as Alphinaud was going to end the call. _“Koko and Sarana are here.”_

Alphinaud almost fell off of his Chocobo as the beast gave a leap. “They are?”

_ “Aye. Surprised everyone here too.” _

“She sure is full of surprises.” Alphinaud gripped the reins in an attempt to steady himself. “I’ll be there as soon as I am able.” 

_“Have a safe trip,”_ Riol said before hanging up. Alphinaud sighed but quickly moved to get a tighter grip on the reins. Were chocobos always so hard to handle? 

With the sun finally set, and the stars full in the sky, he finally made it to Little Ala Mhigo. He had jumped off of the Chocobo before it could rush to the porter. He didn’t want to make such an entrance. Just going through the front gate was enough. The chocobo could and did find a way in on its own. However as he’s dusting himself up, he noticed someone had come out to greet him.

“Koko.”

“Took you long enough.” The Au Ra huffed. He couldn’t even see her eyes, the brim of her black hat was in the way. It normally was, but this time she was holding it down in place. She was good at holding her emotions in check on a good day, perhaps today was a bad day for both of them. “They’re about to burn his body.”

“Burn it?”

“Hard to bury a body in a desert.”

“...Quite.” 

“Come on.” She turns, walking back into the little outpost, Alphinaud on her heels. Once inside he could see people gathered around, mourning and talking. As they walk further in, closer to the aetheryte, he could see more of the young people of this place, all them gathered together. He only knew vaguely of Wilred’s past, one thing for sure was that he was important to the youth of this place. 

Looking to the right, he noticed how the room opened up into the desert, and just outside what looked like a bonfire pit was being made. Ah, that must be where they were going to do it.

“Commander?” Alphinaud stopped when he hears a familiar voice, as does Koko. They turn to see T’van, who is actually grouped with the Ala Mhigo youth. They must have been surrounding him when Alphinaud came in because he hadn’t the Miqo’te at all. T’van carefully made his way over, trying to keep to the wooden path and not fall into the small pond around the crystal. “Yer really here?”

“Told you,” Koko replied, causing Alphinaud to look at her. Did she know this was going to happen? She barely spared a glance before she’s walking forward, meeting with Sarana and an Ala Mhigan man on the other side of the room. 

“I apologize for my delay. Where is Riol?”

“He’s helpin’ with the pit.” T’van mumbled, messing with one of the braids that hung by his face. “I, uh, didn’t think ye were comin’ at all. Aren’t ye needed in Ul’dah?”

“It will not burn down overnight. Not with the feast that the Sultana is so graciously putting on tomorrow evening.” T’van just stared at him. “I take it you weren’t informed.” Alphinaud chuckled. “We can speak more on it later because I might have a task for you during it. Only if you’re up to it, however.” He reached over and patted T’van’s shoulder. He had only thought of it during a few seconds in Ul’dah, but maybe it was just the break T’van would need.“Now, who was it you were talking to?”

T’van smiled softly and guided him over to where the youths were standing around. They were incredibly…..friendly? He wasn’t sure how to put it. He knew Ala Mhigans were an extremely proud people, he didn’t think they would so easily talk to him. Even with the death of a friend. They told him how Wilred was so proud to become a Brave, how he was preaching the banner of equality that the Crystal Braves stood for even before he officially joined. Everyone here was proud of Wilred, and it hurt. He needed to find the killer, for all of their sakes, so they could all be at ease.

“They’re ready.” Alphinaud and T’van turned to see Riol, sliding his blue uniform jacket back on. He must have taken it off when he was helping prepare the burial. 

“Thank you, Riol. We’ll head over.” Alphinaud walked to grip the handles of T’van’s chair and helped carefully navigate him over to the funeral area. One of the teenagers also helped, making sure T’van’s chair didn’t go into the water. It doesn’t seem these wheels were built for sand either, but Alphinaud kept a tight grip on the chair as they surrounded the bonfire pit to make sure he didn’t fall out of place. Or at least, that’s the reason he told himself.

“Normally,” An older man stepped forward, and all idle whispers and chatter ceased in a second. “The parents or the commanding officer would light the flame.” The man looked straight at Alphinaud, and his grip tightened on the handles of the wheelchair. No one had told him that, but something told him he wouldn’t have to do it. “However, we have a special guest today. Someone who was important to Wilred, to everyone here, and to many more. Koko, the Warrior of Light, has offered to light the flame.”

“She what?” Alphinaud whispered, staring in awe as Koko stepped forward. He could hear T’van chuckle and that got him to snap out of it. He’s more surprised that Koko had offered, rather than had been dragged into it. 

Koko didn’t even offer a word, there were a few claps and cheers but she waited for them to die down. She kept her back to the crowd as she brought out her staff out in a twirl. She was only dramatic when it really counted, wasn’t she? He would laugh if the situation wasn’t so depressing. It takes only seconds for her to send a fire spell to the wood surrounding Wilred’s body, and only seconds for it all to completely erupt into a giant blaze. There was a mix of battle cries and crying surrounded him. A glance downward showed that T’van shouting as well.

After most of the noise had died down, the old man stepped forward to speak more. Speaking on Wilred and his life. Alphinaud keeps his eyes downcast, on T’van. His shoulders started shaking again, and Alphinaud reached down to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. After a moment, T’van reached up and held onto it. 

He’s not sure how long it went on for, he knows he was addressed at some point but it wasn’t his place to speak. He only watched, listened, and waited for the crowd to disperse. 

“Excuse me? Commander Leveilleur?” Alphinaud pulled his hand back from T’van’s shoulder and turned to see a couple standing in front of him. “We are Wilred’s parents.” The man said and offered his hand. “Thank you for looking after our son.”

“It was an honor to have him serve in the Crystal Braves.” He said, reaching out to shake the man’s hand firmly. 

“Riol said you wouldn’t be able to make it, but thank you for making time.” The woman said.

This conversation went on for a while, and Alphinaud had barely anything prepared. Thankfully they kept up most of the conversation, and he was a great listener - but mentioning Wilred trying to summon a primal threw him off balance. So that’s what is was. So that’s why Koko didn’t say anything more than ‘he thought he could beat me in a fight’. Speaking of Koko - where is she? He spared a glance around, and nothing. Even more surprising, T’van wasn’t there anymore.

“We already talked with T’van.” Wilred’s father said, causing Alphinaud to look at him. “He’s just the sort I think our son needed to be friends with. Kind, but firm.”

“Yes, those are definitely two things to describe T’van.” Alphinaud said with a chuckle.

“We will leave you be, but thank you again.” The mother said, grabbing his hands and squeezing them. He let her, if it’ll help her convey her feelings. He gave her a smile and a nod before she finally released his hands. He bowed to them as they leave, and stayed there for a moment before he sighed heavily. That was not a conversation he had prepared himself for, but it worked out in the end. He could use it as a point of conversation at the feast, with Raubahn perhaps. 

Standing up straight, he decided to go find those he knew. Riol didn’t take long to fine, he was sharing stories with some of the youths and young men, so he decided to leave him be for now. He found Sarana brooding per usual, off to the sit and eating some of the food that had been put out. T’van and Koko were still nowhere to be found, and he had searched the entire outpost. The only place he hadn’t looked twice was around the bonfire pit. He heads out the large entryway and just barely noticed Koko’s black jerkin. It was practically blending into the night - as she no doubt wanted it. She walked behind a ridge towards the bottom of the hill, and he’s quick to follow. Quick, but quiet. 

She caught him though, giving a glance his way. However she doesn’t speak, and only motions for him to stay quiet before she continues on. Tilting his head, he still follows until-

“M-Miss Koko?” That was T’van’s voice. Alphinaud paused in his steps, leaning against the wall of rock. Any closer and he might be seen anyhow - is that what Koko wanted? For him to hide? To listen? 

“Stop with the miss,” Koko muttered. “What are you doing out here?”

“I...I was just--”

“Crying? Feeling sorry for yourself?” Alphinaud winced. Koko wasn’t one to put things lightly, but surely she could make an exception? Especially with T’van- “Well?”

“I was just….tihinkin’ o’ all the things I didn’t get to tell Wilred, is all.”

Alphinaud felt a hand on his shoulder, and he would have made some kind of noise if a hand wasn’t put over his mouth aswell. Instantly he’s battle ready, but it faded in a section when he sees who it is. Riol? How did he get all the way out here without him noticing? He motioned Alphinaud the same way Koko did, a finger over his lips to be quiet. He only nodded before Riol completely removed his hands.  A quick glance showed that Koko’s ever faithful companion Sarana was there too, but she was a noticeable distance away.

“What kind of things are those?”

T’van laughed, but it’s dry, fake. “I appreciate the concern, especially from the Warrior o’ Light, but--”

“But you don’t trust me.”

“That’s not-”

“No, that’s good. You shouldn’t trust me just because some idiots gave me a fancy title.” Alphinaud raised an eyebrow. That’s the first time he’s heard something like that from her. Did she not like the praise she deserved? “Who do you trust, then? Was he the only one?”

“....No.”

“Then tell who you trust. It’s not something you’d shout from the hilltops - but you want someone to understand. It’s not a secret you want to take to your grave, but something you want others to listen and learn from. Isn’t it?”

If Alphinaud wasn’t already trying to be quiet, he would have been stunned into silence as she spoke. How much did he even know about the Warrior of Light? After all the time they had spent together, you think he would know at least some basic things about her. He knew four things for sure: she’s a scholar of the arcane, a black mage, overworked herself constantly, and she has never spoken her last name. And those things anyone could know. Did she not trust him? Did she trust anyone? A glance is given towards Sarana, and she just glared.

“...That’s….” T’van hesitated, and Alphinaud wished he could just peek over the side of the stone wall to look at him. “Yer very perspective.”

“I know from experience,” Koko replied with a tsk. “Why not tell your Commander? You trust him right?”

Alphinaud’s head perked up but the silence that followed after the question concerned him. Did T’van not trust him? “I do...I trust him.” Alphinaud sighed quietly in relief. “But-- I-I’m scared he’d kick me out o’ the Braves.” What? He shared a glance with Riol. What could T’van have to say that would give him that impression? He has given plenty of people second chances within the Crystal Braves- so why would he-?

“He isn’t that stupid.” Alphinaud blinked and quickly wanted to speak up in retaliation but Riol held him back. He even went as far as putting a hand over the youngest mouth, Alphinaud gave an annoyed look. “Think it over.” They could hear footsteps, so Riol and Alphinaud took a few steps back to give Koko room to turn as soon as she comes to the edge where they were. But the footsteps stopped and they listened carefully.

“How about we make a deal.”

“What kind o’ deal?” 

“When you can trust me, and I can trust you, we’ll talk.” 

Silence followed, and Alphinaud is almost sure he’s suffocating in it. But finally, T’van spoke, “Aye. I’d like that.” 

“Keep working hard until then, that kid needs as much help as he can get.” 

“Do ye trust the Commander, Koko?” 

Alphinaud held his breath. “I trust him enough.”

“Then how come ye never say his name?” Riol had to put his hand over Alphinaud’s mouth again. He had wondered that too, if he was honest. There’s silence, which makes Alphinaud worry, but then Koko finally speaks up. Had he not been as close as he was, he might not have heard her.

“It’s hard to pronounce.” Suddenly the tense air around the area was gone.

“I beg yer pardon?”

“I’m not from here, okay? Why the hells do you all have to have complicated names?” She grumbled, “I just got used to lalafell names, don’t even get me started on bloody Elezen ones.”

There’s a pause of silence before T’van is laughing, a real laugh this time. Koko tsked and started stomping away, T’van stuttering apologies through his laughter. Alphinaud is trying not to laugh himself as Koko storms passed him and Riol. 

Alphinaud waited a moment to collect himself before he motioned Riol to leave. He nodded and turned around, as he watches the Hyur leave he noticed the two girls heading back into the outpost. Koko must be embarrassed, did she forget they were listening in on the conversation? He shook his head and made his way around the wall of rock,

“O-Oh- Commander-” T’van stuttered, wiping his eyes. “Sorry I left, I just--”

“No apologies needed, T’van.” He said as he approached the other carefully. How did T’van even get his chair over here? He must have more control over it than he had originally thought. “Are you doing alright?”

“ ‘m better.” He said, looking out to the desert surrounding them. Alphinaud nodded, that was better than nothing. “I know ye have probably heard this a lot today, but thank ye for comin’.”

“It was no trouble, really. Though I do have to leave soon, the feast is tomorrow.”

“Right…” T’van looked back toward him, “Ye said he had somethin’ for me t’ do durin’ that?”

“Yes, only if you’re up for it, though.” Alphinaud gave him a faint smile “I would like for you to attend with me.”

T’van’s jaw went slack. “Huh?”

“There are going to be many merchants there, and people of power from the other city-states. I might end up in talks about supplies that could be donated to or bought by the Crystal Braves, and a lot of those could be crafting materials. I am less knowledgeable about the sort of materials you would require, what could be bought in bulk and would need to be found, so having you there would prove invaluable. Not to mention you took part in the battle this feast is celebrating. You might have not been on the field, but you’re the reason some didn't lose their lives. Your supplies do more for us than you think they do and I want you and others to realize and acknowledge this.”

T’van stared for a moment before speaking. “Ye mean it?”

“Of course. I know I said you could take leave to mourn, so I’m not so much asking this as your Commander.” He stepped forward and puts his hand on T’van’s shoulder once more. “I’m asking this as a friend. I’m worried about you, T’van. I believe maybe the feast could help lift your spirits. I know I would feel better if you’re there. Not just to help my talks with merchants but to have a friendly face at my side.”

“Ye really think of me as a friend?”

“Of course. I would hope you feel the same.”

There’s another worrying pause before T’van smiled and grasped his hand in return. Alphinaud can’t explain it, but his face suddenly felt warm. “Aye, sir.”

“We’re not exactly on duty right now, you know. As friends, I believe it is fine for you to use my name.” T’van smiled even brighter, and Alphinaud wonders if he’s gotten a fever with how his face feels hotter. 

“Aye, Alphinaud.”


	9. Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T'van attends the royal banquet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FINALLY TIME. Warning for 2.55 shit, there's going to be lots of mention of blood and violence. I am not terribly good at writing any of it but it's still there, just as a warning.   
> And also lore bending. There's that too

“I’m not so sure ‘bout this, sir-”

The morning had come far too quickly. Wilred’s parents were all too happy to offer the three of them a bed (or rather, three mats ) for the night, which they all happily accepted. But they also had to wake up early to get down to Ul’dah, and T’van had barely gotten any sleep. This would be his first time in Ul’dah, he’s only ever sent letters to the Alchemist Guild. Now he was suddenly going to some royal feast? He wasn’t ready for this.

“You’ll be fine! I called Tataru and she said she would be leaving a change of clothes for you, Riol will help you get ready, and we might even have time to stop by the Alchemist guild before the banquet.”

“Sir I don’t think ye get it.” T’van gripped at his chair as the carriage they sat in went over a large bump, Riol held onto him to make sure he didn’t fall over. They agreed that him sitting in the carriage ‘normally’ was better than him sitting in his chair and risk being wheeled around, but sitting ‘normally’ was just as dangerous as now there was a loose chair with wheels rolling about. Alphinaud grabbed onto the chair as well to make sure that it didn’t suddenly fall out of the carriage. They had strapped it down to the best of their ability, but that didn’t mean it still didn’t shake to the point of them being worried it would suddenly fall out.

“What’s there not to get?”

“I’ve never been t’ such a big party b’fore. I’ll prob’ly make a fool o’ the Braves and--”

“Nonsense.” Alphinaud waved his free hand. “There’s nothing to it. You’ll also be by my side most of the night, or by a Scion’s.” T’van’s shoulders relaxed a little at the thought, at least he wouldn’t be left to his own devices. He’d surely make a mess of things then. Oh, who was he kidding? He was going to make a mess of things regardless! He shouldn’t have agreed to this. Maybe there was time to still back out-

The thought disappeared as Riol patted him on the back. “The Commander is givin’ ye a good chance, take it lad.”

“Yeah but--”

“You can leave if you become uncomfortable.” Alphinaud explained, “But at least make an appearance with me and help me start a conversation.”

“....I guess I could handle that.” The Miqo’te mumbled, giving a small shrug.

“Excellent. Oh, look T’van - Ul’dah is in view now.”

T’van attempted to look out the side of the carriage, but needed help from Riol to do so. Once he caught a glimpse of the city, a smile breaks out on his face. It’s not a big smile, but it’s something. He wished Wilred could have been here too, gone to the feast with them - if only for guard duty or something like it. He just wished….--

A small sigh escapes him before he pulled his head back into the carriage. He wanted to be happy about this opportunity, really. He was honored Alphinaud had even bothered, but besides making a fool of himself, he just wasn’t sure he was up for this. No doubt the Commander knew that, but he thought the feast would help. Help, the one word that can motivate him more than anything.

If it helped the Commander, and the Crystal Braves possibly down the line, he could try. It’s what Wilred would have wanted, or at least that’s how he’s trying to put it.

Finally surrendering to the plan, he finally registered something else that was said. “Wait - ye mentioned new clothes-”

“Oh, yes, Tataru was quite adamant about it. I believe she mentioned something about a dress uniform of some kind. Will you need help getting ready?”

“I can do that, sir. ‘M sure ye got things t’ do ‘fore the party.”

“That I do, thank you Riol. But as soon as you’re done you can meet up with Captain Ilberd and get on that investigation.” They attempted to talk quietly, but he still heard them. His ears twitched, then pressed down against his head, attempting to block it out. The rest of the ride is quiet, only a few words shared between the other two with him. Once they arrived outside of the Gate, Alphinaud stepped out of the carriage and took the chair with him. Riol picked him up, and he wrapped an arm around the Hyur’s shoulders easily. It’s a little embarrassing to get handled like this sometimes. But he’d chose the temporary embarrassment over possibly falling to the ground attempting to get out of the carriage by himself. After getting in his chair and comfortable again, they head into the city. T’van stops for a moment to take it all in, and when he does Alphinaud spoke up.

“I am going to go check in with Captain Ilberd one more time before the feast. I’ll meet you here anon.”

“Sir!” Him and Riol salute, and Alphinaud returned it before he was walking off. Riol guided his chair over to the side entrance of the quicksand, as there were fewer stairs, and over to the Inkeep. While Riol spoke with the Innkeep, T’van took another look around. His father had described Ul’dah to him, but he hadn’t believed half of what he had said. It was a rather flashy place, wasn’t it?

“Yer gwakin’.”

“Am not.”

Riol chuckled and helped him into the inn. They were lead to where Tataru had left the change of clothes, and after thanking the innkeep they entered the room.

“Do ye really need help?”

“Not much.” T’van said, rolling his chair over to the bed where the clothes were. It looked like another uniform, but...fancier. The jacket was more of a blazer, matching in a way to the altered uniform Tataru had made for him with the short jacket instead of the long one. The thick straps had been replaced with thinner ones with silver chains attached, there were military stripes on the shoulders, cufflinks in a crystal-like design. White stripes were around the collar and the side of the pants. He also couldn’t help but notice that there was a new belt with a pouch and holsters for his daggers. A note stuck out of the pouch, and T’van quickly grabbed it. As he did so he realized there was a smaller knife hidden in the pouch.

‘Stay safe - Hozan’ the note read.

He couldn’t help but smile, even if it was slight. Hozan must have been worried, he’ll have to apologize to the man later.

“That’s lookin’ nice,” Riol said, peeking over his shoulder. “Now what were ye needin’ help with?”

“Er….I guess I should wash up. Don’t wanna be a complete embarrassment.” He mumbled as he ran a hand over his face. “I’ll just need help gettin’ in an’ out o’ the tub.”

“I think I can help with that.”

It doesn’t take long for Riol to help him into the tub, though it felt longer because of how awkward it was for T’van. The man was a blessing though and didn’t spend any longer than absolutely needed before leaving him alone. It was only when he was alone did he realize that he’s been surrounded by others since...since…

He won’t deny he didn’t cry, now that he was finally alone. But he held himself back from full out sobbing. He didn’t want to worry Riol, after all. Not that he hadn’t cried almost the entire way to Little Ala Mhigo, not that he hadn’t cried in front of Wilred’s parents or his friends. He took a deep shaking breath before splashing hot water in his face and undoing all of the braids his hair was in. Time to think of something else --

Maybe he should try something different with his hair for the feast? Or would that be too much? Would Alphinaud like it-? Wait, what was he saying?! More hot water went into his face before he started cleaning his hair and ears. Oh, his tail too. Sometimes he forgot he had it, there was little to no feeling in it after all. He stares at it for a moment before letting it fall limp back into the water.

After washing up, he only stays in the lukewarm water for a moment. He couldn’t let himself think too hard about any one thing, because it all came back to ‘I wish wilred was here’. Rubbing at his eyes he gave another small sigh. “Time t’ get ready.”

Riol did his part of helping him out of the tub but then left him once more. He’s thankful for it once again. He easily set himself up on the bed and starts carefully putting the fancy clothes on. The pants were always the hardest part, but after that, it’s easy enough. It still felt a little weird. The jacket was a little less...bulky around the collar. It felt nice but he had gotten used to the feeling of the normal one. She included new gloves as well, he had missed them when he looked over the outfit earlier. His old ones were starting to get worn down between work and moving his chair around. These were much thinner than his work gloves, maybe because they were supposed to look nice? He frowns a little at that. Well, it was just for one night. He could ask for a replacement on his gloves and maybe another uniform later. He didn’t trust himself to make them on his own, weaving was only a beginners skill for him. That thought lingers as he looks down at the blazer.

T’van vaguely understood the notion of ‘dress uniforms’, but he never thought he would wear one.

He finishes buttoning up the white shirt before pulling on the blue blazer. It was a little complicated to figure out where the chains were supposed to go, but he figured it out with minimal trouble. He has to push his hair behind his shoulder multiple times while doing so, however. Sometimes he forgot how much it could get in the way, which is why his father had always mentioned cutting it, and why he always braided it. Or at least, that was the practical reason.  
  
He shoved his boots on, and takes the small knife Hozan gave him and puts it in a small indent of his boots. He wonders if they had made these together, or if Hozan asked Tataru to make it. Regardless, it’s useful, both that and the holsters for his legs. Once he has the weapons set in place he began to move into his chair. There’s a brief glance at the bag he always kept on the back of his chair. Should he remove it for the banquet? Since his daggers now had proper holsters, it only really kept some emergency supplies and a handful of crafting materials. He pulls it off the back of the chair and into his lap to go through it. Oh, he also had some spare tools in here as well, he could stand to leave those at the very least. He’s just finished pulling those tools out when he hears a knock at the door. “Comin’!” He called before stretching as best he could to get the bag back on the back of his chair. He also spends a second pulling his hair over his shoulder and to the front of him so not to get caught in the wheels. He was hoping to pull it back before anyone saw him but oh well, it was probably just Riol.

He pulled open the door the best he could, only to find not only Riol there but Alphinaud. Oh….Well...He hadn’t expected to see the Commander yet. He had hoped to be at least decent beforehand--

His face flushed as Alphinaud stared at him. Why was he staring? Was there something on his face?

The hyur gently shoved the Elezen closer, and even with all of his grace and poise - Alphinaud stumbled a bit before straightening up. “Sorry - um - you look excellent, T’van.” The commander cleared his throat, looking off to the side. “That uniform Tataru made suits you.”

“A-Aye, Thank ye, sir.” He said with a small bow of his head. “I’ll just be needin’ t’ do me hair and then I’ll be ready.”

“I’ll leave ye lads to it.” Riol said with a chuckle. “I’m goin’ to report to The Captain”

“Aye.” T’van nodded, staring down at his lap before looking up at the Hyur. “Riol?”

“Hm?”

“...Find who killed Wilred. Please.”

Riol looked at him softly and knelt down to give him a hug. “Aye. I promise.” T’van barely returned the hug before the man was up again. Riol saluted Alphinaud, who gave a salute back before leaving them in somewhat awkward silence.

“Would you….like some help with your hair?” Alphinaud offered after a moment. “Truthfully I didn’t realize it was so long, you always wear it up.”

“Aye, well, I like t’ keep it long but it could also get stuck in me chair so I don’t got a choice.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“.....Maybe.” The Elezen laughed at that.

“Well then allow me to assist you.” He motioned to the room, and T’van rolled his chair back so the other could come in. Thankfully, there was also a brush and a tall mirror in the room. He ran his hair through the locks for a moment, staring at himself in the mirror.

Cut it off a’ready! He heard a voice in the back of his mind say. Why did her voice have to haunt him now?

“Are you going to do the braids around your face?” Alphinaud asked, and T’vans ears twitched. Right, Alphinaud was here too.

“Maybe.” he repeated, in a softer tone this time.

“I suggest doing one large braid with the rest of your hair.” Alphinaud leaned over the back of his chair, gently taking the black locks from the miqo’te and pulling them back so he could have all of it in his hands. T’van prayed that Alphinaud didn’t feel the shiver down his spine as the Elezen’s hands grazed his blazer. “Hm, your highlights have begun to fade.”

T’van blinks, wrapping a strand of hair around his finger. Right, he did have blue highlights. He had almost forgotten about them. Had he been too busy? Or did they just feel that natural? “Haven’t gotten the time t’ redo ‘em.”

“Would you like to attempt to now? Or no?”

There’s a pause before he shook his head. “Nah, maybe after.”

“Very well, hand me that brush will you?” The Miqo’te passed the brush backward and let Alphinaud brush and braid his hair.

It was nice...he had started doing his hair by himself when his pops made it clear he wanted to cut it. He doesn’t even remember the last time he had his hair brushed by someone else. His face flushed and he tried to distract himself from it by working on the two braids on either side of his face. Though he’s done much quicker than he realized, and has to try not to move as Alphinaud finished tying his hair back.

It felt like years before Alphinaud finally spoke up. “There,” The elezen said, draping T’van’s now long single braid over his shoulder. “All done.”

“Thank ye sir--” T’van said, looking over his hair. Wait, was that-? He picked up the end of the braid and noticed a blue ribbon tying it into place.

“Ah, I happened to have an extra on me. I thought it would look nice.” T’van looked up into the mirror to see Alphinaud looking away, scratching his cheek.

T’van couldn’t help but stare at it for a moment longer, his face heating up. Was it really just because he had an extra on him? T’van dropped his hair and looks in the mirror. “It makes the look, sir. Thank ye, I’ll be sure to return it later.”

“Think nothing of it.” He said with a wave of his hand. “Now, we have some time before the feast still. Would you like to pay a visit to the Alchemist Guild?”

“Ye sure? Don’t ye got more important t’ work?”

“Captain Ilberd is capable of handling it. I would have had today off regardless.”

“....Then if ye wouldn’t mind. Truthfully, I have no idea where the guild even is.”

“Then I’ll be delighted to show you the way.”

It took some trouble to get him out of the hourglass, but thankfully the Quicksand was easier. Then it was a trip to the Gold Court, and Alphinaud was kind enough to stop and let him look around. He felt like some kind of tourist, wanting to look at every little thing. He had to stop himself from wanting to enter every crafting guild they passed as well, though Alphinaud did offer to take him there. He politely declined. There was only so much time, and he would just have to make sure to attune to the aetheryte after the feast so he could come back whenever he was given leave.

“The banquet is being held just through there.” Alphinaud pointed out as they passed by the Royal Promenade. “Hm…”

“What is it sir?”

“That’s a lot of stairs.” he heard the Commander grumble, and T’van couldn’t help but laugh. He’s been laughing much more than he expected to after the death of his best friend. He wouldn’t complain, though.

It’s what Wilred would have wanted.  
It’s what….

He’s knocked free from those thoughts as Alphinaud instructed him to attune to the smaller aetheryte so they could easily teleport back in time for the feast. He does so and then they’re off again. He tried to be of more help getting up the stairs this time, forcing his wheels to move along. After getting up, it didn’t take too long for them to reach the Alchemist Guild. He stares up in awe - and suddenly he feels like he’s going to get sick. It must have shown on his face because when Alphinaud came to walk beside him, he probably noticed his expression.

“It’ll be fine! The receptionist spoke nothing but praise about you, said you were one of the smartest alchemists they knew. Of course they’ll be happy to meet you in person.” Alphinaud reassured him before they went in.

They were only standing for a second before the receptionist is greeting them. “Hello! Welcome to the Alchemist guild-” It didn’t take long for the hyur to see T’van and his chair, and after looking him over a few times a smile broke out on his face. “You wouldn’t happen to be T’van?”

“Aye, that I am.” T’van greeted with a smile. The receptionist is quick to make his way out from behind the desk and rush over to the teens.

“Never did I think I’d get to meet you in person, it’s an honor.” The hyur excitedly shook T’van’s hand.

“It-It is?”

“Of course! Let me gather the others, everyone here has been keeping up with your research in some way.” With that the hyur was off, even as T’van was reaching out to try and stop him from doing - whatever this was. Causing a scene? Embarrassing him? Both?

“See, I told you there was nothing to worry about.” Alphinaud smiled above him, and as T’van looked back at him he couldn’t help but blush. Leave it to the Commander to try and cheer him up like this. He knew the main reason for coming here was Alphinaud’s attempt to make him happy, and he had succeeded, in some form. But being happy at the moment, and being happy all together were two different things. Still, it’s the thought that counted.

Soon a handful of Alchemists were surrounding him and had he the power he might have hidden behind Alphinaud. It was almost too much at once, how was he supposed to go to the feast if he was feeling overwhelmed here?! Alphinaud helped ease him into the conversation, though. Asking about what he had said in his letters and bringing those topics back for the other Alchemists to speak on. That meant admitting the research and experiments that had gone into healing his legs, but Alphinaud didn’t seem too surprised. The other alchemists were more than happy to continue on with the subject given, asking about T’van’s progress in his research. Truthfully, he hadn’t had time to do any personal research since joining the Braves. The most he had done was experiment with those Doman recipes, and he told them as much.

“Do you think the secret to healing your legs lies with Doman medicine?” One Alchemist suggested.

“I’ve had half a mind t’ ask more details ‘bout it.” T’van admitted, seemingly throwing Alphinaud off. “But the Domans I know are no healers, not fully committed ones anyways. So I didn’t ask.” Not to mention he was hoping to get this research under wraps. Alphinaud might have known now, but no one else did. Not if he had anything to say about it.

He knew the chance of healing his own legs were next to none, he had stopped using his ‘experiments’ for himself a long time ago. But if there was a chance it could help someone later, then he wanted to continue with it.

“Could be worth looking into!” A female Alchemist chimed. “Personally, I’d love to see if Domans have a similar kind of Alchemy.”

The topic turned from there, and T’van was thankful for it. He definitely wasn’t the type to like the spotlight for too long and was more happy to listen to what everyone else was saying. Soon though, Alphinaud is tapping him on the shoulder. T’van looks over mid-ramble.

“I’d hate to be the one to interrupt such riveting talk,” He couldn’t be sure if Alphinaud was being sarcastic or not, but T’van turned to face him anyway.“ but the banquet will be starting soon.”

“Oh- right. S’rry Commander.”

“Oh! You mean you’ll be attending that royal banquet?” The female Alchemist asked, clapping her hands together. “Oh, that’s wonderful. Do tell me all about it later.”

“Aye, If I get the chance--”

“You’ll have tomorrow off, T’van.” Alphinaud informed him, “So I don’t see why you can’t come back to talk to everyone again.”

“Please do!” Another Alchemist quickly said. “There’s so much to talk about, maybe we can try one of those doman experiments.”

“Aye! I’d love t’ try.” T’van smiled again, a little bit bigger this time. Almost there, Wilred. Almost…

He waved goodbye to everyone and the group dispersed. As they were heading out of the guild though, T’van couldn’t help but hear someone else speak. “Finally, I need peace and quiet!” The guild master, Severian, grumbled from his desk below them. He knew who it was right away, from how he spoke and how others had described him in their letters. Truthfully he had exchanged a couple of letters with the guild master, and he had nothing but respect for him - even if others had said his personality left much to be desired.

T’van stopped his chair and turned it towards the railing. “S’rry Sir.”

“Hmph, well, if you speak to me tomorrow before those idiots then maybe I’ll forgive you.”

“Ye wish t’ speak with me, sir?”

“You think I’d waste time reading and replying to just any letters?” The hyur tsked, closing a book and looking up towards T’van. “Tomorrow, first thing in the morning.”

T’van gave a few enthusiastic nods. “ ‘Course sir!”

After saying goodbye to the Guild Master, Alphinaud rolled his chair out of the guild. He made sure to attune to the small aetheryte before they used it to teleport back to the royal promenade. They made it in front of the stairs before Alphinaud stopped with a hum. No doubt trying to figure out how to get him up all those stairs. Maybe this was a bad idea--

“Might I assist you?”

T’van didn’t recognize that voice, but the way Alphinaud turned so quickly, he must have. T’van turned his chair to see a tall Elezen man with black hair and what could only be described as the most intricate armor he’s ever seen. T’van was in such awe of the craftsmanship he almost didn’t catch Alphinaud’s reply.

“Ser Aymeric! I’m delighted for you to have made it to join us.”

Oh, so this was Aymeric. He hadn’t been sure what he had expected but, it wasn’t this.

“As I am for having been invited.” The Elezen man reassured with a smile. “Now, I see you have a bit of a problem on your hands.”

“It’s not so much a problem as--”

“It’s a problem Commander.” T’van cut him off with a shake of his head. “One o’ these days I’ll make one o’ these things that can fly,” he grumbled after.

A small chuckle made T’van’s ears twitch. “Until then, might I assist you?” Lucia stepped out from behind Aymeric, and T’van couldn’t help but smile.

“Miss Lucia!”

“Ah, I see you’re acquainted.”

“T’van was the one kind enough to give me all those supplies that I brought back with me to the field. All handcrafted by him, apparently.”

“So you’re the kind quartermaster that Lucia spoke of.” Aymeric smiled at him, and T’van felt his face flush. Quartermaster? He was just a crafter. But, he wouldn’t deny that the title sounded nice, nor would he deny that he did a similar job to one on occasion. “In that case, allow me to assist you as thanks.”

“It was nothin’, really!” T’van said, waving his hands. “But, er, if ye wouldn’t mind? This ol’ girl isn’t great with so many stairs.”

“Then I insist.” Aymeric looked over at Alphinaud, as if asking silent permission. With a nod from his commander, the older Elezen made his way over.

“Grab on.” And T’van did so, wrapping his arms the best he could around Aymeric’s neck as the man grabbed his limp legs. “Lucia, could you grab the chair?” He asked as T’van settled into his arms.

This was embarrassing on so many levels, being carried up the stairs by a state visitor! By the one, they were trying to convince to join the Alliance! He would never live this down. But, it did give him a chance to look at Aymeric’s armor up close. It was even more impressive up close! Before he could stop himself, he found himself speaking, “Er, sir-”

“Yes? Something amiss?”

“No, no. I was just wonderin’ who made yer armor.”

“Ah,” Aymeric grinned at him. “it was specially crafted for me by smiths in Ishgard.”

“It’s amazin’.” He could feel Aymeric’s chuckle, and T’van couldn’t help but be even more embarrassed. He probably looked like an idiot, staring at his armor like that and being in such a trance.

“Do a lot of armor work yourself?”

“Mostly repairs,” He said, looking over the pauldrons of Aymeric’s armor. “I can make smaller stuff, but nothin’ this fancy.” He heard the Elezen chuckle. Maybe ‘fancy’ wasn’t the best word to have used.

Once at the top of the stairs, Lucia set his chair down and Aymeric put him down with the utmost care. It wasn’t like when Riol had carried him, while the Hyur would be careful of course - Aymeric almost treated him like he was glass. “Thank ye, sir.”

“It was of no consequence, think nothing of it.”

“Your generosity knows no bounds, it would seem,” Alphinaud said, walking up the final steps and once approaching the group. He didn’t get to see much of Alphinaud’s expression before the other went behind his chair but he almost looked….annoyed? But it seemed to come and go in a moment, and he questioned if he really saw that expression on the other’s face. “We shall speak later, I would hope. For now, I’m sure there are many you must greet.”

“That I do. I would like more words with you too, T’van, if you would have me.”

T’van blinked before giving a nod. “O’ course, sir.” With that Aymeric and Lucia made their way into the chamber before them. T’van was stunned for a moment but still managed to speak. “Er, Commander-”

“I do believe you made a good impression on Ser Aymeric.” He chuckled, “You’re a natural at this.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” T’van grumbled.

“Now now, don’t be so glum. You have already paved a way for more conversation, with Aymeric and possibly More of Ishgard at that. That’s something to be proud of.” Alphinaud insisted. “Quartermaster though…I have to say I like that title for you.”

T’van stared for a moment before speaking, “Really?”

“You practically do all the jobs required for one, stand a few.” He hummed. “I suspected we’d always have the Scions to lean on for supplies, so the position of Quartermaster did not concern me. But since you’ve joined our ranks that has been less so. Yes, Quartermaster would fit just fine.” T’van is stunned into silence, and Alphinaud chuckles. “We’ll speak of the particulars after the banquet.” His commander said before pushing his chair along and into the banquet hall.

It was definitely fancy. Too fancy for someone like him. So fancy that just like Aymeric’s armor, he should have really thought of a better word to describe it. He felt like a tourist again as he looked around at the decoration, the food, the people, all of it! It was only when someone approached Alphinaud did T’van snap out of it. Of course, he’d be the one everyone would like to talk to. He would have rolled himself away if Alphinaud didn’t have a firm grip on his chair’s handles. Well, he promised he would try, so he made an attempt to contribute to the conversation- one of the people who approached was a merchant and took interest in what he had to say at least. Alphinaud didn’t leave his side, despite his own conversation ending, and T’van was thankful for it.

As the group finally disperse, T’van already feels like he’s had enough. “Everyone looks to be in high spirits.” Alphinaud helped turn his chair around so they both can face Minfilia.

“With good cause,” Alphinaud said confidently,

“A common victory may serve to unite even the most unlikely of allies.” She smiled. “You’ve brought us one step closer to a united Eorzea.”

“Your modesty knows no bounds, Antecedent. Were it not for your efforts, Ser Aymeric would never have become such a steadfast ally.”

“Well I think ye both did great.” T’van piped in, causing Minfilia to laugh softly and Alphinaud to look down at him with a smile. Well, at least he could make them happy today. That was enough for him. Alphinaud looked away, toward the Alliance leaders and their visitors from Ishgard. He can feel the other lean against his chair slightly, but it’s not enough to make it move. Just enough for it to be...comfortable.

“When he convinces his countrymen to join the Alliance, we shall all real the benefits - military and economic.” Alphinaud continued, that smile still on his face. “I tell you, we are on the cusp of a new era of unity and prosperity.”

That caused T’van to smile again. He couldn’t help but be excited by those words - it was why he joined the Crystal Braves after all! To help others, to help bring peace--

He only wished Wilred was here to see it.

T’van tuned out the rest of Alphinaud’s speech, looking down at his hands. If only he could have done something more. Did Wilred need better armor? Could he have survived if T’van knew more armor work than repairs? Would he have lived if he had armor like Aymeric’s?

“By the way, T’van.” Minfilia pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked up at her. “You look rather dashing this evening.” She laughed again as T’van felt the blush return to his face. “That uniform is new, did Tataru make it?”

“Aye, she did.”

“I believe she wanted to test out making dress uniforms for the Braves. Considering we will also be doing diplomatic ventures, I thought it also a good idea. I have to say I am happy with the result.” T’van put a hand on his cheek as he tried to get them to stop burning, Minfilia simply smiled at him.

For awhile after, T’van stayed with Minfilia or Alphinaud. It was easy, the two of them kept up most conversations. Though T’van was getting more socially worn down by the moment, he would admit that it wasn’t entirely a bad experience. But he might have to take Alphinaud’s advice and leave early.

Though that thought was cut off by Aymeric speaking. The room got quiet as he made his speech of thanks and speaking on possibly joining the Alliance in the future. T’van clapped eagerly with the rest of the guests, though as he looks over to Alphinaud he noticed the Elezen frowning. His clapping died down at that, and soon the rest of the room went back to its normal chatter. Before he could ask Alphinaud what was wrong, A Brave approached them from behind. T’van couldn’t look behind himself completely to see who it was, but he does see Alphinaud turn around to face the Brave.

“Yuyuhase would like to speak with you, Sir. Said it was urgent.”

“Very well.”

T’van frowned as Minfilia spoke his worry. “Is aught amiss?”

“Nothing to worry about. I shall return anon.”

“Need me t’ go with ye, sir?” T’van asked, turning his chair slightly. Why was it urgent? Was something the matter? Didn’t Alphinaud say he had tonight off? Did they find something out about Wilred?

“There’s no need, I promise to return shortly.” T’van stared for a moment before nodding, letting Alphinaud leave in peace. Though afterward, he and Minfilia exchanged a look before Yda was waving them over. Well, he should at least stay with them until Alphinaud gets back.

“I was just about to grab some food! Do you guys want any?” Yda offered.

“..Aye, that’d be great. I don’t think I’ve eaten today, actually.”

“You’re always the one making sure everyone eats! Now it’s our turn to repay the favor.” Yda claps her hands together before going to the buffet table. She starts piling up food onto a plate and he quickly had to roll over to make sure that she doesn’t grab too much. He couldn’t eat all that! No matter how hungry he was.

It was nice, being able to talk to the Scions for a moment while he ate. He didn’t get to see them too often, between him always work or them always away doing some important business. The only time they seemed to be able to talk was around food.

Though, it was obvious that they tried to tiptoe around the subject of Wilred. They would start a sentence that would lead to things like his friends in the Braves, or why he was in here today, and stop short. He both appreciated it and found it….incredibly frustrating. He might be young but he was no child. This was not the first time he had dealt with death, and he needed to accept the fact that it wouldn’t be the last time. Minfilia did pull him to the side to give her condolences and a hug. One he returned, however brief it was considering all of the rooms attention was soon on the doors to the banquet hall.

“What is the meaning of this?” Raubahn demanded as Brass blades and more soldiers in silver armor came walking in. T’van tilted his head, that armor didn’t match any of the alliance’s - maybe it was Aymeric’s men? His suspicions are confirmed when the lalafell had led them in addressed the Ishgardian directly.

T’van’s heart dropped as Aymeric walked out of the room, Lucia on his heels as well as the other soldiers. He had really been hoping to talk to the Lord Commander again, but he supposed there was always next time. If Ishgard really was going to join the Alliance, then there was hope for another meeting.

He didn’t miss the worried glances the scions seemed to give each other. He wished he could know what was going through their heads. Especially now that the room was filling with whispers. Whispers that grew louder by the second, and he almost didn’t hear the Flame general speak next.

“You go too far, Lord Adeledji! By what right do you march armed soldiers into a royal banquet and eject state visitors without Her Grace’s consent?!” He exclaimed, “You treat the Brass Blades like your own personal army, and show contempt for the throne with your every act. Leave us. Now.”

T’van all but completely shrunk into his chair, and Minfilia put a hand on his shoulder. “Is that an order, General?” The lalafell barked back. “Mayhap you’ve mistaken me for one of your Flames? You will find that I’m not so slavishly obedient. And you lecture me on personal armies!”

Where was Alphinaud? Surely he could calm this mess down- he had a way with words after all. T’van can’t help but look around the room at the thought, but his Commander is nowhere to be seen. He had missed part of Adeledji’s rebuttal but did catch the part about an ‘assassination’. Gold eyes widened as they turned their attention back to the front of the room. “I suppose this is your idea of defending the nation, is it? This and diluting our forces through these distractions in Carteneau and Coerthas! I do begin to see how the ranks of the Immortal Flames came to be riddled with Garlean sympathizers! You are plainly unfit for command!”

T’van’s stomach might as well be a twisted mess right now. The mention of spies within the ranks makes him think back to the Ivy, how Wilred had wanted so hard to help with that situation. It seemed like so long ago but it had only been what, a moon? Maybe less.

“Wait-” T’van’s attention turned to Rahbuan, and he swore he heard the man’s voice crack. “Wait, gods damn you! Your words aren’t making any sense! What assassin?”

There’s a gasp from the Lalafell that sounded all too fake for T’van’s liking. “You mean you don’t know? We caught the vaunted champion of the Scions in her Grace’s chambers, not moments after the deed was done!”

The room broke out into gasps, and T’van himself can’t deny he didn’t as well. Minfilia’s hand leaves his shoulder, likely out of shock.

Koko….did what? No, no that wasn’t possible. She would never-

“No- No this cannot be!” The Antecedent voiced his thoughts.

“Save your breath!” Teledji hissed, pointing at Minfilia. “You will need it to plead your case. You and your entire order are to be tried for this atrocity.” If the room wasn’t loud before, it definitely was after that.

“Ye got it all wrong--” He tried, but his voice dies in his throat. No, no this couldn’t be happening. If they were all going to be tried, for something Koko clearly didn’t do!, then wouldn’t Alphinaud be tried as well? Why would they do that after all the aide he has given to Ul’dah?

“Bring in the prisoner!”

His head snapped up, and if he had been able to stand, he might have dropped to his knees the very moment he saw Ilberd bring Koko into the room. He threw her down to the floor like some doll he wanted to be rid of, and T’van rolled his chair forward in protest. Y’shtola was the one to hold him back.

“This woman stands accused of poisoning her Royal Majesty Nanamo Ul Namo. And as suspected accessories to the crime, all members of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn will be detained for questioning.” Ilberd looked straight at him, and T’van swore his heart stopped beating. “T’van, get away from the accused.” He couldn’t move, only managing to stare wide-eyed at the Captain. “Unless you are admitting guilt to also being an accessory to the crime.”

Y’shtola gave his chair a push then, and it was enough to knock him out of his daze. His hands shook horribly, but he manages to put them on his wheels and roll over to the other side of the room, near the other braves. But he didn’t feel right, standing (figuratively) with them, being on this side of Koko. It felt….wrong. It wasn’t supposed to feel wrong. The Crystal Braves were supposed to be good!

“This is madness!” Minfilia cried.

“What a pity,” He hears Ilberd grumble towards Koko, “Who’d have thought your tale would end like this?” T’van opened his mouth to speak in Koko’s defense, but he can’t. He choked on his own breath. How could he help? Why wasn’t Alphinaud back already? Surely this wasn’t being done on his orders - Alphinaud admired Koko too much! Alphinaud relies on Koko, they all did! So why-

“Should you demand further proof, a vial with traces of the substance used to poison Her Grace was found upon the assassin’s person!”

One of the braves, a Lancer who he barely remembers the name of, pulls out a vial from his coat.

“Wait!” He finally gets his voice back, only to call out hastily. He regrets it the second all eyes are on him. He swallowed a lump in his throat. Well, Alphinaud wanted him to talk with others tonight, so damn it he was going to talk. “Allow me t’ take a look at that.”

“Hmph, and why should I? Clearly, you’re friendly with the Scions, you were probably in on this aswell!” Teledji accused.

“Don’t ye go spittin’ nonsense ye can’t back up!” His hands are shaking as he talks back, his voice does as well, but he still speaks through his nerves. Where did this sudden burst of courage come from? Or was it anger? How dare someone try to take his friends away again! “I’m a Crystal Brave- and more importantly in this situation - an Alchemist, I can confirm f’r everyone ‘ere that the vial contains what ye say.”

There’s a glance shared between Teledji and Ilberd, the latter giving a nod. “Hmph. Very well, if it will get you all to realize the gravity of the situation.” The lalafell asks for the vial, and the brave hands it over. He didn’t think he’d be so afraid of a Lalafell approaching him before, but he is terrified. He takes the vial the second it’s offered, to get his eyes off of the man and onto something else productive. The room is silent enough to pierce his heart as he checked over the vial. Discoloration inside the vial, check, odorless, check. He couldn’t do much without his equipment but--

His face paled, and the man grinned. “So you can confirm it then.”

“Not--Not entirely, not with equipment," He tried, but also couldn't help but mumble - "but it definitely leaves a strong ‘mpression…” He couldn’t bear to look at the scions - even as Y’shtola spoke and Teledji argued back at her, all he can do is stare at the vial. He knows how to make poisons, if only because he needed them to make antidotes, surely he could place this one if he just thought hard enough -- maybe he could do something. Please! Just let him be able to do something! There can’t be more death, please….please….

Minfilia’s cry and Yda’s disbelief are lost on him. But Raubahn’s broken voice is like an echo of his own and pulls him out of his haze.

“She...She cannot be dead….-”

The Captain brushing passed all of them caused T’van to flinch, and it’s a few seconds after that he realized he’s gone to stop Raubahn

“Stand aside, Ilberd! I want to see the Sultana!”

“Spare yourself the pain, brother. I saw her with my own eyes.” T’van can’t help but see a flash of Wilred’s dead body underneath that sheet. He put a hand over his mouth and looks away. “For a mercy, the poison took her swiftly - her handmaiden can attest to that.” T’van dared peek over, just to see the woman shake her head.

“This cannot be...” Then they all watched as the mighty Flame General fell to his knees and screamed out in sadness, in rage.

Wilred once again fills his thoughts, how he had cried over his corpse, of all the things he said and didn’t say. This was different, he knew, but the wounds were still deep and fresh, and T’van finds it difficult to push back the tears.

It also took all his willpower not to be completely enraged by this damned lalafell. Speaking of how Raubahn wasn’t fit to govern - let him mourn! T’van wanted to cry. Give him a moment and he’ll show you that he’s capable-

“You would mock her, then MOCK HER FROM HELL!”

Everything happened so fast, and there was only so much T’van could see from his limited view and taller people around him. But when his mind could finally process everything, Teledji Adeleji was dead, a pool of blood forming around him. Screams filled the room, and thank the twelve he was off to the side of the entrance and not in its way because practically all the guests had rushed out in a stampede. At least they had a good sense of fight or flight. T’van? He could barely move.

Hozan had mentioned that in battle he could be frozen, for a number of reasons. From fear, for having too kind of a heart, from not wanting to cut down your own brothers in arms- the list went on. But for him, right now? It was possibly the first option. Just like back then, he couldn’t help but think. I can’t do a damned thing--

There’s a flash of a ship, of a dark and stormy night, and T’van almost gets lost in the memory if it were not for another voice.

“Have you lost your mind, general?!” There’s another lalafell that speaks, attempting to calm the enraged General. But it only seemed to make matters worse. Considering he’s not far away from said lalafell, he can see the General charging, and it might be the most terrifying thing he’s ever seen.

He finally gets feeling back in his arms fast enough to roll his chair back into the wall, making sure that there was plenty of distance between him and the path of the General. In doing so, he saw Captain Ilberd rush to the Lalafell’s aide. This time, things happened right in front of his eyes, and all too slowly.

Ilberd slashed upwards, Raubahn yelled, his arm fell, blood and wine mixed together around him, the Alliance leaders called out to their friend - and T’van put both of his hands over his mouth, attempting not to scream himself.

What was Ilberd thinking?! Did he have any idea what he just did!? To take another person limb like that- T’van was shaking with both fear and anger. How could he--

“How unlike you, old friend,” T’van couldn’t help but think that tone was mocking. “I did not expect to take your arm so easily.”

“Take the Scions into custody!” Lolorito proclaimed, “they have conspired to commit regicide! And arrest this traitor as well.”

Was no one going to heal him? It didn’t matter if they took Raubahn into custody, he could die any second now from blood loss! T’van was about to speak up but Crystal Braves and Brass Blades alike stormed in, surrounding Koko, the Scions, and Raubahn. “Wait-” He choked, but it was muffled by his hands. He lowered them, but his voice wasn’t much better. “Wait-Wait--” He can see Ilberd kneeling in front of Raubahn, but he can’t hear what they’re saying. But next thing he knew, Raubahn was picking up his sword again and practically splitting the flooring to pieces!

“Stop! Stop it!” T’van can’t help but call, but it all falls on deaf ears as Raubahn wildly swings his sword at Ilberd. “You’re goin’ t’ die if ye keep that up!” Don’t let anyone else die! Please!

A slash from Ilberd’s sword sent the Mad bull, and almost everyone else, in the room flying. As he was already against the wall, the only thing the slash managed to do was slam his chair even harder against it, causing him to fall forward from the force. His head was spinning as he tried to pick himself up from the ground.

“Flee this place” He can hear Raubhan say as his ears stop ringing. “Clear your names! Find out who is behind this plot! It is the only way! Now go!”

As he sat up he can see the Scions fleeing the room. Well, all but one.

“C’mon.” Koko said, sliding to his side and grabbing his arm. “I’ll carry you.”

“What are ye-- leave me!” T’van said, swatting her hand. “I’ll only slow ye down!”

“Like hell I’m-” The clash of Ilberd’s and Raubahn’s swords caused them both to flinch. “Just come on!”

“Miss Koko- stop--” She still managed to pull him up anyhow. She’s stronger than she looked, but her hands are shaking. She must have been terrified, or angry, or possibly both like he was. As they approach the door, a man approaches them. If he wasn’t so disoriented, he probably could have realized who it was before Koko greeted him.

“Thancred! Help me with him!”

“No- don’t-- I beg ye, leave me!” His voice gets louder as he does regain his senses, but it’s doubtful the two fighting in the room behind him could hear any words - only the clash of their swords. His ears twitched as he heard the footsteps of more soldiers. The ones behind them probably would be getting up soon too, if they were only simply disorientated like he was and not...and not…-- “Quickly! Go!”

“I’m not leaving you behind! Alphinaud would kill me.” Koko hissed.

“....Then ‘m sorry.” He mumbled. Quickly, he pulled out one of his daggers and dared to stab her in the shoulder. It was barely deep, enough to break skin but not enough to hurt for more than a few seconds and force her to let go of him. He falls to the ground with a yelp, he had known that was the plan but it didn’t make falling to the ground any less painful. “Go! Now!”

“You little-“

“T’van, have you gone mad? You’re not with them, are you?!” Thancred accused, rushing in front of Koko to shield her.

“Never in yer wildest dreams! But ye can’t waste time on me!” He said, digging into his belt’s pouch. “Thancred, sir, please take her away! I will hold them off f’r as long as I can!” With that, he pulls the cap off of a bottle and throws it as hard as he can. The two scions watch as it falls down the stairs and a large smoke cloud appears at the bottom of the stairs.

“Clever,” Thancred mumbled before pulling Koko to her feet. “Come on.”

“No! I won’t leave him-”

“I’ll be alright!” He lied. “Please get out of ‘ere! Find the Commander if ye can! He’s the only one that matters!”

Despite her strongest protests, Thancred manages to pull the mage down the stairs. On a good day, he’s sure Koko would have been able to fight Thancred off and carry him - but this was far from a good day. T’van threw another smoke bomb for good measure before pulling himself back into the Banquet Hall. The battle was still going strong but it was obvious Raubahn was going to lose. His blood was everywhere, on the floors, on the table, on the walls. It was a wonder he hadn’t passed out yet! T’van even finds himself dragging himself through what he’s sure is the General’s blood to get to his chair. It takes only a second to get the chair on its side, making it easier for him to pull the bag off of the back of it.

Let’s see….Those doman explosives were in here, some flash bombs, some strong potions, and other medical supplies. This could help, no, it had to help! His goggles were also in here as well, and T’van would have smiled if the situation wasn’t so dire. He had felt weird not wearing them, now he shoves them on with a new found purpose.

“General! Close yer eyes!” T’van yelled, which at least got Raubahn to look in his direction. Well, close enough. He threw the flashbomb across the room, managing to land it just in front of Ilberd. Not knowing what it was, the Captain took a jump backward but was still looking at it, so the flash bomb still had its desired effect.

“Bastard!” Ilberd yelled, trying to get his bearings.

“General! Over here!” He quickly motioned Raubhan over, and thank god the man had enough strength to move. As soon as he was close enough, T’van quickly popped a few potions at him. He could see instant relief on the General’s face, but it was only for a moment.

“You-you spoke up earlier.” Raubahn grumbled, “Who are you?”

“That’s not important right now, is it?!” He said, throwing another potion. “I’m on yer side, and we need t’ get yer arm bandaged before ye die!” T’van used the cover of the General’s larger form to throw another flashbomb when he saw Ilberd getting close. “He won’t be fallin’ for this forever!”

Now having a moment to rest, the General seemed even more worn down than seconds before. He stabbed his sword into the ground, using it as a means to keep himself sitting upright. T’van moved as close as he could, but it was difficult for him to sit up and get a good angle. But he didn’t have alot of time to work, so he had to be quick, he had to improvise. He pulls off his blue blazer and ties it tightly around what was left of the General’s arm. At the very least, the pressure and potions served to slow the bleeding. But he would need a full treatment-- and there wasn’t enough time.

T’van gasped as he felt a blade to the side of his neck. Looks like he had run out of time. “You’ve been a thorn in my side long enough, you damned miqo’te.” Ilberd hissed. T’van was too scared to look back at him, but Raubahn made a move to stand. T’van felt the blade inch closer to his neck. A sharp gasp escaped his lips a the blade pressed against his neck, and Raubahn hesitated “Don’t even think about it unless you want this boy to lose his head!” Damn it, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this! He was supposed to help, not make things worse! “I had decided to keep you around because you were useful, but no longer. You got too close, just like that friend of yours.”

“What--” T’van gasped, and if it wasn’t for the sword he would have turned around to look at Ilberd straight in the eye - for once. Now he can only manage a tilt of his head, and barely at that. “Was it ye that killed Wilred?!” He swore that the expression Ilberd wore was one of pure evil.

“I gave the order, though I couldn’t say I was the one that carried it out.” More Crystal Braves filled the room as Ilberd spoke. “Take him away!” He said, keeping his sword to T’van’s neck. Raubhan hung his head.

“G-General! Fight! Don’t worry ‘bout me!” T’van quickly looked back at the man, leaning forward slightly. “Don’t let ’em--”

“I-It’s alright lad. I do not think I could even lift my sword again.” His words were slurring. _Oh no Oh no_ \--

His hands curl into fists. He knew what he needed to do, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to like it. “Let me heal ‘im!” He begged, looking back towards Ilberd. “Kill me after if ye wish but let me save him!”

“What makes you think I want that?”

“Ye would have killed him already if that were the case!” T’van barked back .”Please! No one else has t’ die today-”

“You don’t even know healing magics, if I recall.” Of course, of all the things Ilberd had to remember, it was that.

T’van glared, “And ye don’t know how to take care o’ someone who has lost the use of a limb.” He spat back.

They stared at each other for what felt like entire moons before Ilberd was lowering his sword. “Very well. Take him too and give him the tools he needs but do not leave him unsupervised. He is the Commander’s pet and I will find a use for him later.” He doesn’t even get a chance to ask for clarification, to ask what had happened to Alphinaud, before he’s being grabbed and thrown over a Brave’s shoulder.

“W-Wait-- I’ll be needin’ that-” He points to his bag. Ilberd rolled his eyes and shoved the bag into T’van’s hands. T’van holds onto it like his life depended on it. As they’re ‘escorted’ out of the room, he can only watch Raubahn trail behind them with decreasing pace. At some point, a Brave has to grab onto his good arm to keep him walking. “Stay with me General. C’mon, talk t’ me.” T’van was grateful for this position, strangely enough, he could keep an eye on the man. “No goin’ to sleep just yet.”

“Wh-What is your name, lad?”

“Good, ye can still talk.” T’van sighed in relief. “I’m T’van. Don’t worry, I’ll get ye back up and ready t’ go in no time.”

“You shouldn’t...You didn’t have to offer yourself up like that--”

“Unlike these traitors,” T’van hissed, “I keep true t’ my oath. I can, and will, help ye. So, pardon my rudeness, shut yer trap and let me.” That was enough to earn a broken chuckle out of the man. He’ll take anything if it meant keeping Raubahn alive--

T’van continued to make small talk with the General as they were escorted down long corridors. How far were they going to take them?! Didn’t they know that Raubahn needed attention right this second? Just as he was going to ask how much longer it was, there were screams from down the hall. “What’s happenin-?” He tried to ask, but the traitorous Brave was more concerned with all but completely throwing T’van to the ground and running towards the screams. T’van groaned, and Raubahn was placed near him as one Brave stayed with them and the other went on ahead.

Only one Brave….he could work with this.

Without saying a word he brought his daggers out from their holsters and pushed himself off of the wall, giving him enough force to stab both daggers into the man’s thigh with minimal difficulty. The man screamed, and pushed T’van off, causing T’van’s daggers to be pulled out of his flesh as well. The man fell to the floor gripping his leg and T’van fell backward - but thankfully Raubahn managed to cushion his landing.

“What in the realm--”

“Can ye walk?! We need t’ get out of ‘ere ‘fore they come back!” But it was too late, one had heard the scream and rushed back. T’van cursed under his breath before throwing his dagger out. The man managed to dodge it, but T’van yanking on the wire to bring the blade back towards him caught the Brave off guard. T’van gave a yell as he pulled hard on the wire - sending the blade into the man’s side, then pulled it back out to pull the blade back to him. The Brave collapsed, gripping his side. It likely didn’t do much, but it did enough to slow him down. T’van needed to act fast. “Please general, they weren’t carryin’ me for show. I can’t use me legs.” He choked, putting a hand on the man’s leg. “Can ye stand?”

“I-I can try--”

“Father!” Raubahn’s head snapped up with more speed T’van thought he was capable of, and they both look down the hall to see a Lalafell with a large mask, and--

Alphinaud.

“T’van!” Alphinaud called after him.

“Commander--” His voice broke as the two rushed over to them. “Thank the navigator.” The second Alphinaud is kneeling next to him, he can’t help but fling his arms over the Elezen. There’s a passing thought that his daggers were still in his hands and that he’s getting blood over the both of them, but he doesn’t care. Alphinaud doesn’t seem to care either, and accepts the hug graciously, hugging him back with more force than T’van ever thought possible.

“Oh father, what has happened to you?” The lalafell choked on his words, kneeling next to the highlander.

“Pipin, you’re safe.”

“Not for long if ye don’t get out of here.” T’van mumbled, pulling himself away from Alphinaud. He knew what had to happen, it was just like earlier. He knew what he had to do but that didn’t mean he would like it. The Elezen gave him a confused look.

“You speak as if we’re not taking you with us.” T’van bit his lip, looking down at his legs. For someone so smart-

“Gods yer too much alike.” He grumbled, thinking of how Koko wouldn’t leave him behind. He shook his head and pulled up his goggles to his forehead before gripping at Alphinaud’s shoulders. “Ye need to go! They’re after ye and the Scions! The others have already escaped and ye need to follow!”

“Not without y--”

“ **I can’t, Alphinaud**!” He dropped his daggers so that he could grab his Commander’s shoulders and shake him, and all three of the others stared at him in shock. “I can’t run, I can barely fight, it’s takin’ all I can t’ sit-up right.” He hurts to admit all of this, he can feel his chest tighten to the point he feels like it’s going to burst. He had been working on it, he had been doing more by himself, he had learned how to fight if only slightly. But no miracles were going to happen, he learned long ago that miracles didn’t exist. But if he could ask for one, just one wish - one miracle - then he wanted Alphinaud to be safe. Please, he prayed - to the Navigator, to anyone that would listen - please don’t let him die too. “Ye need t’ focus on gettin’ yerself out.”

“...The lad is right, leave me as well.” Raubhan added with a grunt. “I’ve lost too much blood, i can barely sit up, let alone escape. This lad has been doing everything he can to keep me alive and I trust him to keep doing so. Leave us.”

“No, No I won’t!” Alphinaud yelled, his voice cracking. “I can’t- I won’t-”

“There they are!” A voice boomed down the corridor.

“Damn! They’ve caught up to us!” Pipin cursed, pulling his sword off of his belt. “We must make haste!”

“But-”

“I swear, I’ll stab ye just like I did with Koko!” T’van barked, gripping Alphinaud’s shoulders tighter.

He didn’t want to let go, and he knew his expression showed as much. Tears were swelling up, his hands were shaking, his lip quivering, but none of this stopped him from giving Alphinaud what could be the last hug they would share. “Please, don’t let them take ye too.” T’van pulled one hand down, to reach into his bag, and pulled out another flashbomb. As he pulled away from the hug, he pulled Alphinaud’s hood up with his other hand. The Elezen was confused, and T’van could only muster up something akin to a mischievous grin. No matter how scared he was, he was going to save Alphinaud. If he had to make this wish come true on his own then so be it.

“Shield yer eyes!” He said to the other two before tossing the bomb down the hall. Raubahn shielded Pipin’s eyes before it went off, T’van shoving his goggles over his eyes at the last moment, making sure he could see well enough to grab an explosive from the bag as well and throw that only a moment later. He pulled Alphinaud’s head down into his chest to shield him from the blast - as the very walls shook with it. Pieces of the wall and ceiling flew about for a moment before subsiding. Not exactly an indoor toy, but it would have to do.

“Go!” He said, pushing the Elezen afterward. After Alphinaud was on his feet he tried to come after him again. The damn fool, thankfully Pipin understood the situation well enough and grabbed the other by the wrist.

“Quickly, Master Alphinaud!”

“We can’t just leave them!”

“If we live today, we can come save them in the ‘morrow! Now come!” He said as he pulled the Elezen down the hall. He tried to smile as Alphinaud looked back towards him. In a flash, he was gone. Thank the tweleve, he couldn’t help but think. Please keep him safe.

“Do you have any more of those things?” Raubahn muttered.

“That was the last flash bomb I had.” T’van said, looking inside his bag. “I got one more explosive but if i use it too close to us we’ll get blown up aswell.”

“Aye….”

“Hey.. _Hey_! No falling asleep! General!” T’van crawled closer, shaking the man’s shoulder. Before he could reach inside his bag for another potion, however, yet another blade was put to his neck. T’van reached for his daggers but not even a second later he was hit on the back of the head with enough force to make him see stars. He fell over, for a moment slumped over Raubahn before he was pushed back onto the ground. He groans eyes squeezed shut as he’s forced onto his back. As he manages to open his eyes, he sees Ilberd again.

“Who would have thought that you’d have something like that up your sleeve.” He sighed, emptying out T’van’s bag onto the floor. He sort of wished that explosion didn’t require a throw to go off, that would have shown Ilberd. But no, it just rolls away from them. If it had come close enough, he could at least have grabbed it to save for later. But it went in the opposite direction. “Take those things away from him! Honestly, idiots the lot of you.” Ilberd barked the order and someone scrambled over to pull the hostlers off of his belt and legs. He has the smaller knife from Hozan still hidden in his boot- but he didn’t make a move for it. It would be useless in this situation. “You’re giving me a lot of trouble, considering I let you live,” Ilberd said, squatting down and staring down at him. T’van’s vision blurred, but he still managed to glare through his tears. “Oh well, that boy knows we have you now, that could work to our advantage later.”

First they used him against Raubahn and now he was thinking about using him against Alphinaud? T’van glared up at the highlander, though he doubts its effectiveness with tears also streaming from his eyes.”Ye won’t get away with this,” T’van hissed and Ilberd is laughing at him. It falls to deaf ears, though. All T’van hears is his own past reaching up to drag him back down into it. This couldn’t be happening, not again. “ _I swear by_ \--” He bites his lip before he can say anything else. Before he said something he would regret before he broke a promise he had made.

But that doesn’t stop him from remembering that night. It didn’t help that Ilberd’s position almost mirrored his. Instead of Ilberd, for a moment T’van sees a flash of someone else - an older Miqo’te with black hair and golden eyes looming over him.

 _“Ye won’t get away with this! **I swear by** the sails o’ the black rose that I’ll kill _ ye _!” The Captain yelled, cried even, towards a Roegadyn not far away from them. Golden eyes were shared between all of them, but while one was filled with rage and another with pure terror, the last looked tired - but determined._

_“Ye can swear all ye like but the Rose Raiders are finished! Just come quietly, and let the lad go. He doesn’t deserve t’ get mixed up in yer mess.”_

_“There ain’t goin’ nowhere with ye, I know who ye are **ye bloody thief** -” The Captain spit. “He is my son, my property-“_

_“No one is property!” The Roegadyn yelled. “Ye’ve done enough, t’ that boy, t’ the people of Limsa Lomina, ‘n now it’s time f’r ye t’ pay.”_

Ilberd had finally stopped laughing, and it’s the eerie silence that follows that snaps T’van back into reality. The aura Ilberd held was almost the same as the Captain’s -- _no_. No, it was much worse. Only now does he release that, after the man has shown his true colors. No wonder he was always so...unsettled, by Ilberd.

“But I already have.” The highlander finally said, leaning down closer to T’van.

It was a little close for his liking, but he knows Ilberd is just doing it to be intimidating. He’s already in tears, and Ilberd still thinks to threaten him. Well, T’van does the only thing he can think to do at the moment.

He **spits** in Ilberd’s face.

“You brat-!” Ilberd cursed, wiping his face with his sleeve. T’van wore a grin, but it only lasted for a moment. For soon he was seeing stars again. Ilberd had punched him, a part of his mind manages to comprehend, slamming his already aching head even further into the tiled floor. There’s a groan of pain before his vision started to go dark.

“T’van!” He could hear Raubahn yell. There’s a couple of voices mixed in to his yelling, he vaguely can hear Ilberd threatening him again, and curses from the Braves he had injured. But he wouldn’t be able to contribute to this conversation as he can slowly feel his consciousness slip away.

 _Please let Raubahn live._ He silently prayed.

 _Please let Alphinaud and_ Pipin _escape this madness._

_Please, Please let Alphinaud live._

_If there’s only one miracle today, one wish of mine to become true, please let it be that._

_Let them live._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BOY, THAT WAS...ALOT.   
> Thank you everyone for being so patient with me on this. This was probably the hardest chapter yet to write because I had to incorporate all the canon material - and figure out how I wanted to change some aspects too. I don't know if future chapters will be as long as these last two have been but it has felt good writing so much, I'm finally getting more confident in my writing - if only a little.


	10. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koko and Haurchefant see different sides of Alphinaud.

Koko awoke to the sound of screaming.

It took her a moment after to realize she had fallen asleep in the first place. She was still sitting almost completely straight up in her chair, a book in her lap and her hat tilted too far forward. But it takes her less than a second to toss the book aside, grab her staff, and bolt out of the door. She’s met with the bitter cold that even the barracks couldn’t protect against, though the room she had been given had been at least slightly warmer. The cold doesn’t stop her, it only makes her move faster.

Even if her destination wasn’t too far. She skids to a halt in front of the room next to hers - the one Alphinaud had been given. She had half a thought to kick down the door, but she settles for the door handle like a civilized person. She still swung it open with enough force to possibly take it off its hinges, which might have defeated the purpose.

“S-Seven Hells!”

Ice blue eyes landed on the elezen, who she thought might have been in danger. But she’s relieved to see that’s not the case. Looking around, it seems he was the only one in the room. Sitting straight up in his bed, sweat rolling down his face - as if they weren’t in an icy hellscape.

“Koko, could you not--” It’s obvious he’s trying to scold her, but he’s clearly shaken by….something. If his scream had been anything to go off of, she would have to guess it was a nightmare. Koko looks in the hall and sees a few of the soldiers coming down the hall likely to inspect the situation like she had. To hear from so far they must have just been walking down the hall. She’s sure she only heard because she was right next door - the walls of this fort were thick. A small blessing in this situation. She waved the soldiers off before walking into the room and closing the door behind her.

“You okay?” She asked, putting her staff on the ground, leaning it against the wall near the door. She then walked over to his bedside, sitting on the end of the bed. He was shorter than her, if only barely, and the bed practically swallowed him.

Alphinaud gripped at the bed sheets, and Koko sighed.

“Stupid question, sorry.”

“No..No it’s alright. It’s just--” Alphinaud sighed himself, running a hand down his face and then through his hair.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She said with a wave of her hand.

“It was a just...a nightmare.” He states at first, letting his hand drop down into his lap. “It was as if...I was back at the palace...and T’van--”

Koko raised an eyebrow. Alphinaud hadn’t completely told her of what happened to him during that...that mess. To be fair, she hadn’t told him the whole story either. So, she’d at least speak up now. “Last I saw of T’van, he was fine.” She rubbed at her shoulder subconsciously. That small stab wound she had gotten from him had been easily healed by one of the healers at the fort. It would have to go down as one of the strangest encounters ever, though.

“Those--Those traitors-” His voice leaked with venom as he spoke the word, “Had taken him and Raubahn hostage. T’van set off some explosives to give us time to escape. I couldn’t...I couldn’t save him.”

Koko looked away. She had uttered the same words to herself in regards of the scions.

This...really was a mess, wasn’t it?

Alphinaud looks up from his hands finally, but only after Koko had placed a hand over his.

“Want some tea?” She asked plainly, but before he could give an answer she’s already standing up. “Or hot chocolate, if he’s awake.”

“You mean Lord Haurchefant?”

“Yeah, him.” Koko said, scratching at her cheek before reaching down to pick up her staff. She swears she can hear Alphinaud chuckle behind her. She’s just going to pretend she didn’t and make her way out of the room. The staff is attached to her hip and she makes strides towards the kitchen.

“Ah! My dear friend!” Speak of the voidsent. Koko pushed up the brim of her hat a bit to see the Elezen making his way down the hall. “Is aught amiss? I hope the quarters I provided to you all were adequate--”

“They’re fine. I’m just going to make some tea.” She paused. “Or, uh….”

“Oh, were you looking to have me make you some hot coco? For you, I would do much more!”

“Not necessary.” She said, holding up her hand to stop any more of his antics. “It’s mostly for Al.”

“Al…?”

Koko’s eyebrow twitched and she gave herself to sound out the name under her breath before she said it in a louder tone confidently. “Alphinaud.”

“I’d be happy to make you both a cup! I have finished my duties for the night and have plenty of time on my hands.”

“Thank you.” She managed a half smile, at the very least. Some of his antics could grate on her nerves, but Haurchefant was a nice guy.

She keeps a safe distance between them as they walk to the kitchen, though. He respects it, and she’s thankful for it. He also doesn’t comment on how one hand is on her staff practically the entire time. It’s only when he’s halfway through making the hot coco does it fall - and only because Alphinaud had finally made his way down to the kitchen.

“Ah! Alphinaud! Feel free to grab a seat, or a counter as our warrior of light has.” The older elezen chuckled, and Koko huffed from her spot on top of the counter, flipping a page in the book in her hand now that she didn’t have to struggle to do it with one hand.

“What are you reading, Koko?” Alphinaud asked curiously, walking over to where she was sitting.

“Cookbook.”

“She snatched it up the second I started making the coco.”

Alphinaud blinked before he found himself laughing softly. “Only you would go to a kitchen and instantly find something to read. Anything interesting?” He stood up on his tip toes to try and see over the top of the book, in which Koko lowered it so he didn’t have to do as such. Haurchefant watched them for a moment with a smile on his face.

“I haven’t had half of these before.”

“Maybe because you forget to eat since your nose is always in a book--” Alphinaud said, and instantly regretted as he almost has his nose stuck in a book - by Koko closing the cookbook on his face. “Hey!”

Koko smirks, and Haurchefant laughs. They are almost like a brother and sister, the older elezen couldn’t help but think. He turns his attention back to the drinks and pours three cups full before turning towards the other two with a large smile. “Here we are! Drink up!”

“Thank you, Lord Haurchefant. I hope we aren’t keeping you from getting rest you surely deserve.” Alphinaud said with a tired smile, taking the cup that was handed to him. Koko muttered a thank you as she got her cup.

“Nonsense! I would never turn down a moment shared between friends.” Koko’s lips twitched, and Haurchefant would take that as a win. She wasn’t always the most open of people, but he would pay her to smile at least once while she was her. Truly smile. Not a half smile, not a cocky grin, just a smile. He had seen it rarely, and if there was ever a moment she needed a smile on her face - it was during these trying times. “Though I’m surprised to see you two up so late.” He said, continuing the conversation along. “Was something amiss?”

“I…-” Alphinaud gripped his cup tightly and looked away.

After a large gulp of the coco, the warrior of light speaks. “He had a nightmare.”

“Ah, well, that’s no good.” The older elezen said with a shake of his head. “Would you like to talk it out, Alphinaud? I find that always helps me, and you’re among friends here.”

There’s a moment that the boy seems to consider it, and in that time Koko ships and gets off of the counter. She leans against it though once she’s on her feet once more. “I wouldn’t know where to start.” Alphinaud finally starts.

“The beginning, like any other story.” Koko said with a straight face. “I’ll get us some stools.” She put the already half empty cup down before going to fetch them all stools to sit on. Once they were settled into some kind of semi-circle in the middle of the kitchen, Alphinaud began his tale. Most of it was told for Haurchefant’s benefit, as he wasn’t aware of all the details of the Crystal Braves. One Brave in particular, it seemed.

“So this T’van helped you escape?” Alphinaud nodded, staring into his now empty cup.

“Both of us, really,” Koko said, crossing her arms. Her cup had long since abandoned on the counter. “He convinced me to leave -- stabbed my shoulder to do it.”

“He did what.” Alphinaud asked, seeming in shock before he brings a hand up to his mouth as he muttered to himself. “So that’s what he meant-”

She gave a shrug, “Without him..who knows what would have happened, to both of us.”

Haurchefant nodded, putting his cup aside. “I understand, it’s no wonder you were having nightmares. Anyone would after seeing their loved one in such a situation.” After setting his cup aside, his gaze returned to the other two, and0 all he could see was Koko looking at Alphinaud - and the latter’s face extremely red. He was also trying to hide it.

“That’s-- we were just good friends and- I’m worried is all--”

“Oh! My apologies. Looks like I didn’t understand.” The man laughs. “The way you spoke of him was akin to how one speaks of a lover if I’m honest.” Alphinaud only retreats further into himself.

And then a miracle happens. Koko laughs. Any other thoughts that the elezens were thinking of voicing were brought to a halt, and their heads whipped around to look at her. She was attempting to stifle her laughs behind her hands, but it was still fairly obvious. As she lowers her hands Haurchefant smiled.

There was a smile, it was faint and gone as soon as it came - but he had at least managed to catch it.

“I-It’s not funny Koko!” Alphinaud huffed when he got over his shock, and Koko grinned at him.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about! Though I do apologize for the misunderstanding and making you uncomfortable. T’van sounds like an amazing person, regardless. I hope to meet him someday.” Haurchefant said confidently.

“Yes...Well….” Alphinaud finally managed to look towards the older and gave a weak smile. “I feel like you two would get along swimmingly.” Haurchefant offered his hand, and Alphinaud gave up his cup. The older elezen started cleaning up and the younger helped Koko put the stools back where they belonged.

“You two have a good night! Tomorrow it’s off to Ishgard!” He waved them off, and the two both gave small waves back.

Alphinaud sighed heavily, and Koko started chuckling next to him. “Don’t you start.”

“I’m not, I’m not.” Koko waved one hand, pulling the brim of her hat further down with her other. “Feeling any better?”

“A little, admittedly.” He said, staring at the door to his room, hand resting on the handle. “Though….I think we spent far too long talking. I don’t think we’ll have time to get even a bells worth of sleep now.”

“The cold will keep us awake.” Koko shrugged, about to take a few steps to the left to get to her room - but a tug on her sleeve stopped her. She looked down and stared at Alphinaud, who was holding onto her sleeve with his free hand.

He doesn’t seem to realize what he was doing - or if he did he simply didn’t care to show another moment of weakness in front of her. “....Do you really think we’ll….we’ll get them back? All of them?”

Koko sighed. Finally, she couldn’t help but think. She had been waiting for the moment that he would finally break. They both knew it was coming - they were both held together by the seams that were ripping at this point, and he had finally torn.

“Do you want me to stay with you until sunrise?” She asked instead. There’s a pause before he nods his head. “Let me get my book and I’ll be right there.” She said, gently pulling his hand off of her sleeve. He waits for her infront of the room regardless, and she rolls her eyes as she enters her own. It takes a second for her to find where she had tossed the book, but as soon as she does she hurries back over, entering Alphinaud’s room with him. They had sat next to eachother on the large bed, and while the book had acted as a distraction, it couldn’t stop the inevitable.

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders while he cried. Talking about his nightmare had helped, she knew that. But there was only so much he was willing to show haurchefant, and the older knew that.

“We’ll get them back.” She mumbled, pulling off her hat and setting it off to the side. Alphinaud looked up at her as if she had grown a second head. Which, she was expecting. He had never seen her without her hat on before, and there was surely a sight to see.

“You…---” He hiccuped. “-have horns?”

Koko raised an eyebrow, before reaching up to rub at her cracked white horns. “What do you know, guess I do.” Alphinaud shook his head at her poor attempt at humor. “Get some sleep,” Koko continued. “-and try not to think of all the ways that Hatchet could embarrass you and T’van if they ever actually met.”

“Okay, you didn’t even try that time.” Alphinaud actually laughed this time. The laugh was weak and hoarse, but she’ll take it over anything worse. She would have to cut him short, though. By slamming a pillow in his face.

“Sleep.”

Eventually, he does. It takes a couple more reassurances, and empty threats, but he is finally asleep. She sighed, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders before going back to sitting on the edge of the bed. She had said she would stay, and she would.

A few tears fall from ice blue eyes, and she finds herself wiping them away as quietly as possible. Her breaking point wasn’t reached yet, she could keep going.

She had to, for everyone’s sake.

She made a mental note to add T’van to the list of people she needed to save as she turned the page in her book.

She would save him, for Alphinaud’s sake.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THIS WAS A LONG TIME COMING WASN'T IT?  
> Long story short, IRL has turned into a shitstorm. It will continue to be a shitstorm for the next few months if I'm honest, but I'm finally in a state where writing isn't too difficult for me anymore. Though I couldn't get the time to do all my research I have to do for chapters so I decided to do a shorter chapter that wouldn't require it. Sorry if you were hoping for more but this is the best I got rn. I'll work on getting back to the thick of things in the next chapter. I'm going to try to get back on my normal update schedule but no promises
> 
> Thanks to all who sent me nice comments and continue to read this fic! You're the best!


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